First of all I just wanted to say that I think there’s an imbalance of justice when a man can confidently take a leak on the side of the road and a woman with leaky breasts feels the need to run for cover. That being said, maybe I’m just bitter because I’m a late leaker. Although my daughter is 22 months old, I still leak milk when we go a few hours outside of our nursing “schedule.” It was this way with my first daughter too. I just usually don’t feel my letdown so if I don’t remember to wear nursing pads, or worse, one slips down my bra, I wind up with at least one wet circle just where breastfeeding moms usually prefer they didn’t have to draw attention. To read more about why breasts leak go here.
At the end of this past summer I recertified my First Aid. I was required to attend two full days of classes without my then 17 month old baby. I thought I was prepared. I nursed my daughter from both sides the morning before I left the house and tucked in the nursing pads for good measure.
On the first day of class I found out that I had parked in a spot where I was likely to get a ticket. So had another man. So we drove to the parking lot we needed to be in and walked back together.
We introduced ourselves, and then after a moment he asked me if I was a mother. I confirmed I was. Then he asked, “Do you breastfeed?”
I should have known where he was going with this but for some reason instead, I spent those moments wondering if he was yet another psychic come into my life. (I have met a lot of psychic people over the years. We get drawn to each other for some reason. )
“You’re leaking,” he pointed to my shirt, breaking me out of my reverie. Sure enough I had one big wet circle on my left side and because it was a beautiful Indian summer day no sweater or coat to cover it up with.
“My wife leaks too. We have a five month old. Do you have any of those nursing pads?” he inquired.
“I’m wearing some,” I said, my face flushing as I turned around and tried to discretely check to see where they were. Sure enough, the left pad had slipped down.
“Just put your name tag over top of it,” he suggested. I started to laugh. He was being so kind and helpful and I was just ready to die of embarrassment.
“I’m thankful you said something,” I told him. “I probably never would have noticed and I’d have been mortified to find out by someone halfway through the ‘hands-on scenarios’ part of the class.” I spent the next few minutes of our walk back to class trying to frantically air out my shirt as well as to subtly apply pressure to the front of my breast with my elbow. He was a gentleman and pretended not to notice. Finally I had to resort to reapplying my “Hello My Name is Melodie” nametag right over my left breast.
“It’s not so bad,” he reassured me. I felt like everyone’s eyes would be drawn right to the place I would prefer they weren’t. But no one batted an eyelash (or if they did I purposely didn’t notice), and after awhile when I knew the spot was dry, I moved my tag up a few inches.
Bernie became my coffee break friend for the weekend and although I haven’t seen him since then, I have remembered and appreciated his cool easygoing attitude towards what might otherwise have been an uncomfortable situation.
It’s like when a person has a huge green leaf between their teeth and a stranger approaches you and makes that subtle gesture to let you know there’s something there. We appreciate that. How often would a man or even another woman for that matter point out that you have milk leaking out of your shirt? There have been countless other times I have gotten into in my car after shopping or errands or visits and suddenly noticed a big wet spot. And no one said a thing!
Maybe it’s just because I have had to put up with leaky breasts for longer than the average breastfeeding mom and therefore have had more than my fair share of embarrassing moments, but I think there needs to be more people like Bernie in the world. Either that or someone needs to design me some breast pads that don’t fall down!
Do you have any leaky breast stories that you want to share? I’d love to hear them!
Related posts:
- Lopsided Breasts
- Who’s Breasts Are They Anyway?
- Extended Breastfeeding: Melissa’s Story
- Breastfeeding An Adopted Baby: One Mom’s Story
Tags: kindness, leaky breasts, letdown, nursing pads
You should see the stacks of nursing pads and shirts my doula friends and I have to take in our bags when we attend births. None of us seem to do well without our babies for very long and pumps just aren’t your baby – that’s for sure. Great story!
I remember my friend telling me that when she gave birth her midwife started leaking. I wonder if it’s akin to women sharing tears.
I have taken to wearing lots of vests. Very trendy!
[...] Nursing Pads. Essential. Especially if you’re someone like me who is a late leaker (I’ve been nursing for almost five years and the only time I haven’t leaked was when I [...]