Breastfeeding is amazing stuff, but unfortunately it can’t save children from everything. The “preventative medicine” effects are certainly wonderful reasons to support the breastfeeding relationship, but not all preventative measures prevent negative outcomes. Breastfeeding doesn’t always mean your child will be in the clear. A recent finding that breastfed children are least likely to have reported behavioural problems and mental health issues, is not a category I can say our daugther falls into.
I found the following on About.Com: Breastfeeding.
“A study presented at the American Public Health Association’s 136th Annual Meeting & Exposition in San Diego shows that children who were breastfed have less behavioral problems and mental health issues during childhood than those who were not breastfed.
The researchers used the 2003 National Survey of Children’s Health data from 102,353 interviews of parents and guardians on the health of their children. They found that parents of breastfed children were less likely to report concern for the child’s behavior, and breastfed children were less likely to have been diagnosed with behavioral problems. These children were also less likely to have received mental health care. As an added bonus, parents of breastfed children were less likely to report concern about the child’s learning abilities.
The lead researcher on the study, Katherine Hobbs Knutson, MD, states, “These findings support current evidence that breastfeeding enhances childhood intellectual ability while providing new evidence that breastfeeding may contribute to childhood emotional development and protect against psychiatric illness and behavioral problems.”
My daughter has behavioural challenges. She has been a “high needs” child since birth. We have gone so far as to have her tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder on the recommendation of doctors, an occupational therapist and a speech language therapist. The result of that year plus long journey was no diagnoisis, amd I have had mixed emotions since then. Whereas I am relieved my daughter doesn’t have to wear a label, she is still the same child. If she had been diagnosed she would have gotten help. Here in Canada when a child gets a diagnosis on the autism spectrum, the family will receive $20,000 a year until the child is six, for early intervention treatment.
I could go through the process again with a different team of professionals, paid this time, and demand a diagnosis, but I don’t want to drag everyone through that again, and she very well might not have one. So we work with her pre-school teachers and read lots of books and find new ways to parent this special child.
And I focus on the positives. I breastfed her for three years. If I hadn’t, maybe things would be worse. We have that important attachment. As a baby when she was scared and needing solace, or sad and needing to be held, I could pick her up and hold her tightly to my breast and all the bad things in the world melted away for her.
Hugs didn’t work. Kisses didn’t work. Reassuring words and cooing didn’t work. Breastfeeding was the tool of choice in my toolbox. Even if it didn’t fix things permanently, or even for very long, breastfeeding worked.
When my daughter was born I breastfed her because I knew it was the best thing for her growing body and I wanted to give her nothing but the best. Then breastfeeding became a parenting tool and saved us all from going crazy. Now, although it is a thing of the past, I know our breastfeeding relationship really did make things better, for everyone.
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Thanks for this post!!! I also have a high-needs child, my toddler. In the process of testing now. I often wonder what it is I did wrong that she is so difficult all the time. I had the impression that a breast, a sling, and a Dr. Sears book would guarantee a gentle, peaceful, happy child. But despite my best efforts, I have a child for which the phrase “damage control” was invented. She’s a cutie though, and it’s impossible to be mad at her for long.
Emily Jones’s last blog post..Wednesday Weekly Photos
I have some serious concerns about that study. Not that I doubt the results may have some validity, but a study where you ask anecdotal info from parents is incredibly subjective. Two sets of parents could have the exact same child, and one set might express much more concern over the issues asked about than another. Breastfeeding parents might very well be more relaxed about their child’s behavior and progress in school and learning, for example. And memory is so subjective, some parents will remember more hard times while others might forget how difficult their child really was.
I also applaud breastfeeding, am still partially breastfeeding my 13 month old and encourage all mothers to do their best to breastfeed their children. There are many advantages to mother and child, both health and just the convenience and as you mentioned the ability to soothe like nothing else. But we’re being unrealistic and naive if we think breastfeeding (or any other parenting practice) will guarantee a happy, safe, intelligent, calm (etc, etc, etc) child.
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I have the very same experience as you, except we did get a diagnosis. Ethan is mildly autistic and not-so-mildly ADHD. Breastfeeding for him was, as in your case, the only way to settle him. He nursed constantly. It was draining, but also a relief – I do not know what I would have done if I hadn’t had that one sure fire way of soothing him. Thank you for sharing your story.
Jennifer’s last blog post..Postpartum Depression: My Story
@ Emily, Yes, I like you also thought that if I breastfed, baby-carried, bed-shared, attended to her cries, and fed her the healthiest of foods, I should be in the clear. I analyzed (and still do!) my parenting skills like crazy, always chiding myself for not being more perfect, for yelling at those times I just couldn’t handle it anymore, instead of talking calmly like a good parent should. But I have come to realize that even when we’re as perfect as can be, our kids are their own people with their own temperments and issues and not everything we do can always fix it.
@Marcy, I agree this study didn’t give a lot of details. I would have liked to have read the actual study rather than a flimsy abstract and report on the findings to see how they controlled for subjectivity.
@Jennifer, Thank YOU for sharing. There are not many moms I have met who struggled with this same kind of thing and parent like me. When we share our stories it is true that it does make us feel better when others come out of the woodwork and say “Yes! Me too!”
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This is a very courageous post! And I can relate to it so well. Hugging and kissing and singing and cooing – none of that worked for my daughter either when she was a baby. She’s also definitely high-needs, very intense and very emotional. I sometimes feel torn between wanting and not wanting there to be a specific label. On the one hand, a label would make me feel like I’m not crazy or incompetent because my child simply has “X.” On the other hand, I would never want my child to be seen merely as an “X kid.” But most of the time, I think my girl just has certain characteristics that are very challenging in the early years, but which will serve her well as an adult.
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great post, thank you so much for this extremely positive story. good luck with your daughter. my son is an extremely “spirited” child and has been since his difficult birth, and breastfeeding soothed him too when nothing else did (though later on rocking did too). He too cried constantly, and is extremely easily thrown off kilter, has difficulty adjusting, and a whole host of problems. But he is also wonderful, sensitive, kind, perceptive, energetic. I am reading “Explosive Children” and “Your Out-of-Sync Child” and “Raising Your Spirited Child”.
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[...] in the most positive and peaceful way I can. But when you mother a child who has always had challenging behaviours, no matter what kind of parenting you do, or what kind of sacrifices you make, it’s hard not [...]
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[...] I was fortunate enough to have a year long maternity leave, and then decide to work from home after that year was up, during which time I spent a lot of time reading up on attachment parenting and happily finding my values reflected within the pages of the many books I read. Dr. Sears’s The Fussy Baby Book was especially a lifesaver for me during my daughter’s first year of challenging and spirited behaviours. [...]