Are you shocked that I actually dislike something about breastfeeding? Well, don’t get your knickers in a knot because I’m the last person to tell you not to breastfeed, but this one little thing really drives me bonkers. What is it? The inability to wear a dress.
“What!?” I hear you thinking. “Dresses? Not the biting, twiddling, public nursing or sleepless nights?” Nope. Dresses. Although the sleepless nights come very, very close.
By dresses, I don’t mean the ones with buttons down the front, or even the ones with a loose or low neckline (although I prefer not to lift my breasts out of the top of my clothing in public), but the ones you basically have to take off in order to nurse your baby.
I like to wear dresses in the Spring and Summer months. The hippy earth goddess in me loves the feeling of the warm air on her legs and the ease of a one piece outfit. I also like to wear dresses when I go out, which in the warm months becomes more often than I would in the colder months. Sure I have some skirts, but I get tired of them, and they require a matching shirt, which means more effort put forth in clothes shopping, and I no longer have the time for that. Plus, being 6 ft tall limits me. Do you know how hard it is for me to find a regular fitting top that covers my tummy? But I digress.
I have some beautiful dresses hanging in my closet that I basically have not worn for almost five years, and now whenever this warm weather comes upon us, I start to feel a tad resentful of the fact I am a prisoner to shirt and skirt and pants (I hate shorts) fashion and that the dresses will have to wait at least one more year.
It is my fouth wedding anniversary tomorrow. Our daughter was 7 months old when we got married. We didn’t plan to have children before our wedding, but we got pregnant a little earlier than expected (five months before the planned wedding date) and after two miscarriage scares I insisted we re-schedule. Problem was I wanted to keep our date (May 1st) because of some of the significance for me around it. Thus, a breastfeeding baby accompanied us on our special day. I had already picked out my dress the year before when I didn’t plan to have a nursling with me, and I was in love with my dress the way brides sometimes tend to be, so I was determined to make it work.
This is how I made it work. Everytime the baby wanted to nurse I had to go into the bridal suite at the little farm B&B, lock the door and literally take off the entire top part of my dress. No, I couldn’t just slip a boob out of the v-neck. It was a tight fitting dress. This really sucked for me because I couldn’t visit with friends and family, eat my lunch or even get that breastfeeding-in-my-wedding-dress photo that some brides have. I LOVE those photos! So that is why, although I love breastfeeding, I hate that it prevents me from wearing a dress.
Is there anything you dislike about breastfeeding? I’d love to hear it. But let’s not scare anyone from breastfeeding with these okay? Thanks!
Related posts:
Tags: nursing apparel
Yes the restrictions on clothing are annoying. Everytime I want to go out I have to think about whether the shirt will pull up easily.
The other thing that I dislike is that I can’t leave my baby for very long. I hate pumping so I try not to be gone for more than 3 hours at a time. Which doesn’t leave a lot of time once you take away the time to drive there and back. Plus there are no vacations or even a weekend away. I don’t want to do this all the time just once in a while it would be nice not to be worried about my boobs and baby being separated.
Of course I have a lot more reasons that I love breastfeeding and it makes it all worth it
Kelly’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
This is so funny because I was just thinking about this same thing since the weather is getting so hot here! I think I agree with you that this is the one thing that really irks me. I love vintage sewing (mostly 50s-style dresses) and that hobby definitely something that’s been on the back burner since I’ve been breastfeeding or pregnant for the last 3+ years. Oh well, it’s just a season of life, right?
Julia’s last blog post..California Is Where They Make Movies, Right?
I dislike pumping. I intensely dislike pumping. I’d rather not do it, but I have that silly little thing called a job. The fact that I’m hooked to a machine, sitting at a job I hate, rather than being at home with my child makes me very, very angry.
But not angry enough to deny my child breastmilk. I knew parenthood would mean my needs came last – and that’s what I signed up for.
TheFeministBreeder’s last blog post..Things You Should Read Thursday: Vol. 4
I dislike dealing with all the idiots that think it is gross, inappropriate, disgusting, etc. I hate the pain of nursing while pregnant (but don’t expect to go through that again, so we’re good!).
Annie @ PhD in Parenting’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: A baby’s right to eat
Nancy, you are a riot. And I have to say, I chuckled a little bit, remembering that feeling of not being able to wear a dress to the THREE weddings I had to go to with my one-year-old nursling. My whining actually caused my hubby to challenge me to start designing (I’m an actress by trade) and now we’ve had our mom-and-pop biz for almost 11 years. We have lots of hot dresses coming for spring, but let me tell you what I hate the most.
After lactating and gestating from 1996 to 2008 with only a 6-month break in there (and twins were the last nursers), I have gone from a 32DD to a 32Long. Now, I KNOW that the breakdown in breast tissue is actually due to the weight gain and loss of pregnancy, and I wouldn’t trade the convenience, bonding and greatness of nursing for anything. But my new boobies are, well, not as bountiful as nursing ones.
I have lots of hot mama customers say, “I can’t wait til they shrink!” — that was me as well. Be careful what you wish for!
Truly, though, the dress thing bugged me as well. We actually just gave away over 150 of them to Mothering readers, but we still have a little discount going for Mother’s Day. Check out http://www.onehotmama.com/mothering if you’re still craving a dress.
Roxanne Beckford Hoge’s last blog post..What A Week!!
I love nursing, but I hate that I’m still so modest about my boobs. I don’t have the courage to just ‘whip them out’. You should see me trying to put the baby to my breast in public and trying to keep it covered up so no one sees any skin. It’s ridiculous. I can’t breast feed in stealth mode! Soon, one day, I won’t care. But as far as today is concerned, I’m still covered in a tent. LOL!
Jennifer from It’s A Beauty Filled Life’s last blog post..A Thousand Words Thursday – Backstage Tour
Amen, amen, amen! I sing the same lament every spring. I love dresses, cute little spring dresses that are not remotely nursing friendly. And I can’t wear them. I had about a year between my daughter reducing her nursing significantly during the day and my second child being born, and you’d better believe I took advantage. Sadly, most of the dresses came from the maternity store, but they were dresses all the same.
Amber’s last blog post..The Poetry of Numbers
I used to be an avid nursing bra wearer but hated the fact that most of them are not very flattering and are designed to restrain a set of rampaging bulls and not just my breast (although there have been times when that analogy was not so inappropriate). I now rebel and wear cute little push-ups with <> underwire and spaghetti straps. I just lift them up to nurse and do a bit of an awkward boob jiggle to get everything back in place afterwards. I will confess though that if I go too long without feeding I get that full breast thing that makes them spill out into “double boob” territory, which is really not flattering. Oh well. I can’t win ‘em all. At least I feel sexy and can wear cute little tops now.
I’d also like to put a little rant in about being “touched out”. My number one issue with breastfeeding is the constant physical contact (I type this as my 2 yr old sits on my lap, pulling at my shirt and licking my chest ). I’m a person who requires much physical space (I learned this after becoming a mother) and I get extremely overwhelmed at times and start contemplating murder for the next person who touches me or has the audacity to stand in my space (usually my husband).
“And this too shall pass…”
I agree with you on the lack of dresses! I have spent money buying a few ‘nursing dresses’. And I also look for wrap dresses where I can loosen the top. My least favorite part of nursing is also pumping, though. I do work fulltime and while I was fully committed to pumping for the first 12 months now I am relieved my daughter is past the one year mark and I only have to pump one time per day!
I missed wearing dresses – now I just miss breastfeeding! The time goes so quickly and one of them babies will be your last baby. Enjoy it while you can :O)
Pictures of women in wedding dresses breastfeeding, how lovely.
I’m only 5 months into breastfeeding, and I am on mat leave for a full year, so even though I pump sometimes, I don’t hate it, I’ve also had no pain, so that’s cool, and I get to wear tanks and yoga outfits most of the time, so that’s sweet.
The thing I hate is not having family support. Not that I really need it, but I hate that no one (except for my husband of the year!) thinks what I am doing is the best choice for my daughter. My mom and mil avoid eye contact when I bf, they worry that I am not getting any rest, or that I am ‘confined’ and not free.
My sil & sis both were ‘not able to bf’ and I don’t judge and since they used formula, that is what I should use as well.
Anyways, that’s my only complaint…. HOWEVER, I live 5 hours away from both our families and being able to hang up the phone when I don’t want to hear comments is great!
Cindy
Cindy’s last blog post..Sleeping beauty!
I am totally with you on the dress thing! I am so glad I’ve weaned my toddler from daytime nursing so I can wear dresses this spring/summer. He’s 22 months old and only nursing before nap, before bed and when he wakes in the morning. So I get to wear dresses when we’re out!
The other thing I didn’t like was pumping. I didn’t have to, b/c I am a SAHM, but my husband wanted to feed our son and we wanted to go out for dinner or a movie occasionally and have my mom feed him. It wasn’t the pumping at home that got to me, it was bringing my pump and pumping at about the same time my mom was feeding him (give or take an hour based on what we were doing while out) We didn’t get to feel like we “got away” for a couple of hours, b/c I had the pump hooked up to me in the car!
Deborah’s last blog post..Heavy Metal
I hate that my husband is a bit grossed out by breastfeeding. And please understand I’m not saying that to slam him. He’s wonderful. It’s just something he’s never been around and he IS supportive, but he doesn’t completely understand the way I feel about it, and he certainly doesn’t find it sexy.
I also kind of hate that my breasts are so large that I don’t really have a ‘free hand’ most of the time when breastfeeding. I envy those moms who don’t need constant support.
There are times I really hate just the messy-ness of it. Squirting, dribbling, the soggy breastpads.
Mostly though, I love, adore and cherish every minute of breastfeeding. It’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever done…
Cilla’s last blog post..A Step in the Right direction
It’s good to be honest with ourselves. Keeps us sane, right? My one complaint is bras. I hate that I have to pull up my bra every time I nurse, and it gets stretched out. I know I’m supposed to unhook the special nursing hatch, and pull it down before latching on, but I never do. Takes too much time. So I end up pulling the whole thing up and now my bras now look like they’ve been thru a taffy machine.
Oh one more—nursing while pregnant. Hated it! My breasts were tender, sore, and I was a hormonal mess. I don’t think I will do that again.
Sally Jackson’s last blog post..??????????????
PUMPING!
I am with The Feminist Breeder on this one. I can so relate to the sitting at work pumping and fuming because you would just rather be home–I just kept thinking–”why didn’t I plan my life better!” But it was all worth it. The pumping though, is the one reason I am putting off having another baby for a year–I am not ready to be hooked up to that thing 24 7 just quite yet.
Rachael’s last blog post..A letter to my son
@Cindy – I totally get the lack of family support thing. I’ve had it too, especially from my Grandma who has the most influence in my family. I think the fact that I have extended breastfed both of my girls has been hard for her to understand. She’s used to being right and having people listen to her, so I feel it has put a strain on my relatonship with her, which saddens me. But I know what I’m doing is best, so onward I continue…
@Sally Jackson and @Jennifer Fink – yes, the nursing bra issues. I hardly ever use my latches either, and I am just SO SICK of wearing them. It’s been four years! I want new bras! I keep thinking I should buy one of those sexy nursing bras Elle MacPherson sells but then I think I won’t get nearly as much use out of it before I stop nurisng so what’s the point? Now I sometimes wear regular bras (no underwire though) and pull them up but my fave has holes in it. Yikes.
@Rachael @FeministBreeder @Alina @Kelly – I have never pumped, except once to see what it was like when my first was 8 weeks old and I thought maybe her dad would like to feed her once in awhile. The time it took and the fact that I was going to be a SAHM for at least a year made me decide it was not worth it, so I never did it again. We do have a pic of daddy feeding her that one time though. But I think you all are heroic moms. Pumping daily and frequently is a reason, I think, many moms would just give up breastfeeding all together. The fact that you do it because it’s what you signed up for when you had your children, is pretty damn awesome.
@Gill – I know! I don’t know when we’ll stop nursing, but I do think we’re closer to stopping than continuing (she’s 2). I know I will miss it immensely, and I know this because she is our last.
@Annie @Sally Jackson – I lucked out in the breastfeeding while pregnant category. While it wasn’t great fun, I didn’t have that tenderness most women have. @Annie – I also agree about dealing with the ignorance out there. BUt that’s why we have blogs right?
@Roxanne – Wow! What a great giveaway I missed! And I definitely can’t squeeze into an xs or small. But thanks for sending the link!
@everyone else who replied – thank you! It’s nice knowing some of you share my rather petty pet-peeve, and that everyone, despite our personal grievances, is so commited to breastfeeding anyway.
We were at a wedding in the fall and my son hadn’t been nursing much in the evening so I wore a shift dress with a boat neck. Oooops. Of course 5 minutes into the festivities he fell and split his lip open and after the bleeding stopped he needed to nurse for comfort. I discovered that I was able to nurse him through the stretchy arm hole. The only other option was to completely disrobe.
Allie’s last blog post..Sunday Spotlight
Have you checked out the dresses at Motherwear.com? It’s been a long time since I was a breastfeeding mother, but I wore several of their dresses to weddings and other special occasions. And their nursing turtlenecks helped me solve my one BF gripe, not being able to tuck in my shirt, especially in winter!
Add me to the I HATE PUMPING camp!!! When he turned a year old I threw that sucker in the dumpster and did a victory dance!!!! But he’s only had 3 ounces of formula in his life!!!!!
Sarah’s last blog post..Breastfeeding Toddlers