It’s an evolutionary trait that moms are wired to be responsive to their baby’s cries. Babies wake up at night because it is what nature intends them to do. Nature also intends that babies drink breast milk. Contrary to what you might hear, it is not normal for a baby to sleep through the night. And breastfed babies wake more frequently than their formula fed counterparts because breast milk gets digested more quickly, thus making them hungry. When we nurse them back to sleep, not only are we satiating their hunger, we are letting them know that they are safe and that their cries will be heeded. We are building a trusting connection with our babies based on respect and responsiveness. This is one of the main premises of Attachment Theory and one of Dr. Sears “Seven Baby B’s:” Birth Bonding, Breastfeeding, Baby wearing, Bed sharing, Believing in the value of baby’s cry, Beware of baby trainers, and Balance.
Night waking is also nature’s way of helping to keep our babies safe from SIDS. A hungry baby wakes up and we attend to them. We rearrange their blankets and their sleeping position, and we breastfeed them. I know when my babies didn’t wake up every two hours I used to get ansty and would check on their breathing. Sometimes they would wake up from all my fussing, but on those nights I was secretly glad, just to know they were okay.
However, this natural night waking phenomenon often takes its toll on new moms. Sometimes with the best of intentions they start giving formula to their infants before bed in hopes that they will sleep longer. The thing that these new moms don’t know is that night time feeds are very important for “informing the breasts” how much milk to make for the next day, and when a mom doesn’t nighttime breatfeed she runs the risk of decreasing her milk supply to the point that she puts the breastfeeding at risk.
A story was recently told to me about a woman who called her doula friend because her milk supply was running low. Her baby was three months old. It turned out mom had been very stressed and had cut out the nighttime feeds to get more sleep. The doula recommended she go to bed with her baby for a couple of nights and nurse on demand. The mom did it and her milk supply went right back up.
You see, prolactin levels are at their highest between 2:00 and 6:00 AM. Prolactin is the hormone responsible for helping the alveolar cells in the breast to make breastmilk, and it is released from the pituitary gland in response to a suckling baby. Research has shown that the level of prolactin in the milk is higher during times of highest milk production and that the highest prolactin levels occur in the middle of the night. Conversely, prolacatin levels in the breast are lowest when the breasts are the most engorged. (Souce: The Breastfeeding Answer Book, La Leche League, 2003). This means that babies who are allowed to nurse on demand will nurse with the frequency in order to ensure the correct milk supply for its unique growing needs. Nature doesn’t make mistakes. Babies who nurse during the night are helping to release the prolactin to make more milk for the next day. So moms who wean their infants at night in order to get more sleep but who want to continue to breastfeed during the day may have some problems maintaining the same milk supply.
Mothering Magazine did a feature article on the “Science of Sharing Sleep” in its January-February 2009 issue, which I highly recommend reading. In its most recent issue there are a number of letters to the editor is regards to it. One in particular caught my attention, and I just quickly want to share two parts of it with you.
In this letter, the authors of the “Science of Sharing Sleep” article respond to criticism from two doctors who co-chair the Baltimore County Child Fatality Review team, which reviews all infant deaths in their county. Both letters were long but worth mentioning is that the authors share a finding about the significant differences between how bottle-feeding moms and breastfeeding moms and baby pairs relate to their infants, behaviourally and physiologically. They make a pretty good argument against bed sharing between bottle fed infants and their parents as studies have shown that these pairs do not rouse as often to each other’s sounds and movements and that exhibited sleeping positions are different and more problematic for safe sleeping.
What caught my attention the most though was this quote: “if it is true, as a recent national survey indicates, that breastfeeding mothers are three times more likely to bedshare than bottle feeding mothers, safe bedsharing combined with breastfeeding could itself eventually be statistically shown to be protective” (from SIDS). And how cool would that be to promote bed sharing?
So not only can bed sharing and breastfeeding at night help protect your infant from SIDS, those nighttime feeds can maintain a correct milk supply as well as help meet your child’s attachment needs. Hopefully next time you’re bleary eyed and weary you will remember this. Especially in the early days and weeks it can make all the difference in the world to your baby’s health and wellness.
When done with care, co-sleeping is best for mother and child. Here are the co-sleeping guidelines from Attachment Parenting International: (Check out the first one!!)
Thanks to Dagmar Bleasdale for letting me use these when I found them on her own site. Check out her great blog and read her post entitled First Night Without Baby in Bed.
If your baby sleeps with you:
1. Breastfeed your baby. Breastfeeding mothers spend more time in lighter stages of sleep, making them more aware of their baby. They also tend to sleep in a protective position (with knees bent upward) that prevents baby from moving down under the covers.
2. Place baby next to Mom, rather than between mother and father.
3. Use approved side rails or bed extenders when placing baby in the family bed. Fill in any crevice between the bed and walls, headboard, footboard, or furniture with a rolled-up baby blanket or towel. Placing the adult mattress on the floor (like a futon) creates the safest possible sleep environment.
4. Baby should not be left to sleep alone on an adult bed, even during naps. If parents do not have access to a crib or cosleeping device for naps, place a smaller mattress or futon on the floor, and make sure the room is child-proofed.
5. Be mindful about sharing sleep and settle the baby safely next to mom in a planned environment rather than falling asleep from exhaustion on the couch, a recliner, beanbag chair, or other unsafe place to share sleep.
6. Only primary caregivers should sleep with an infant. Do not allow babysitters or older siblings to sleep with baby.
Also, do not co-sleep with your baby if you have been drinking or doing drugs, are on a medication which makes you drowsy, or if you are a smoker, don’t co-sleep on a water bed or on a very soft matress, and don’t use those ultra fluffy duvets or other heavy blankets which can easily cover baby’s head and face and possibly suffocate the baby.
Also thanks to Catherine from My Birth Tree for her excellent breastfeeding talk who inspired me to share some of the above information. I am so pleased to have such a brilliant, caring woman/doula/childbirth educator/breastfeeding counsellor/Birthing From Within Mentor in my very own community! Please check out her lovely blog.
I also recommend The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley for parents who are having sleep difficulties with their baby or toddler. Also see my post called Transitioning a Breastfeeding Toddler to Her Own Bed.
Did you find this post helpful? Please let me know by leaving a comment. And if you liked this post please consider subscribing by RSS or email. It would make my day!
Related posts:
- Transitioning a Breastfeeding Toddler To Her Own Bed
- Daylight Savings 2009: Why Breastfeeding Moms Will Lose Even More Sleep Tonight
- When Not Breastfeeding Breaks Your Heart A Little
- When To Send Your Nursling on an Overnight
- Breastfeeding Should Not Be Blamed For Tragic Accident
Tags: bed-sharing, prolactin
Posted by Attachment Parenting, Breastfeeding General, Breastfeeding Infants, Breastfeeding Toddler, Children's Health, Our Children Subscribe to RSS feed
Thank you for sharing this! What a great article and I know personally that it is so true!!! I love breastfeeding & co-sleeping with my 7 1/2 mo. We have been from the beginning and I find that I get the best sleep – and so does she.
In the beginning, if she didn’t wake up every few hours, I would wake up alarmed and FULL – needing to feed her!
I know first-hand the major benefits of co-sleeping as well! Everyone asks me why my baby is so happy all the time and barely, if ever, fussy. I think it’s because all her needs are completely met and she is never lacking in love and affection (I am not saying that if you don’t co-sleep your baby lacks love and affection). It just really works for her!! Plus, she is the size of a 12 mo and I have a theory that it’s because she’s always being held or cradled, thus stimulating the brain to release the Human Growth Hormone (Just my theory – no evidence behind it).
Anyways, thanks for sharing – I really enjoyed it!!
Mindy
Mindy’s last blog post.."Perfecting how to put a game face on"
At what age do you believe the benefits of NOT sleeping through the night stop? My daughter is 7 mos. old and when she co-sleeps (sometimes we put her in a crib right next to our bed) between 2 and 6 is the exact time she wakes up!
I’m thinking it’s about time we transition her to a crib in her own room for her to sleep through the night, but this post makes me wonder. Maybe at one year?
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I was at a mom and baby group recently, and a lot of the moms referred to bedsharing as a ‘bad habit’ that they had picked up and were sort of embarrassed about. I was glad, on the one hand, that so many more moms were bedsharing than I had expected. I was disappointed that they weren’t happy with it. I did my best to re-frame it for them. I hope they came away understanding that meeting your baby’s needs is nothing to be ashamed of, and that making the best decision for now is not setting up ‘bad habits’ that will never be broken.
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What an excellent post! I am so happy to this valuable information get out there! I was bedsharing back in 1979 before much was written on the topic except by LLLI. I didn’t think anything of it!
Recently at a conference, I heard of some aid workers evaluating a young pregnant women’s home environment in China. They were shocked when they saw no crib or bassinet. When asked where her baby would be sleeping…she looked confused.. and responded “He sleep with me… he is much too little to sleep alone!”
Isn’t that a great perspective?
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I want to echo what Amber said. I have to say I am still co-sleeping with my 6 month old, as I did with my other children, and he is the happiest, most relaxed little chap ever. I’m not tired because he feeds while I sleep and he is satisfied because he is never hungry. It does help that we have a huge bed…we had all three in the other night! Interestingly I put baba in the middle of the bed the other morning and, because he is more mobile now, he quickly wriggles his way over for a cuddle!
katherine’s last blog post..Grace in Small Things
I wanted to comment on another advantage of night time nursing…delayed fertility! In Sheila Kippley’s Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing she talks about how a baby sleeping through the night (and thus not nursing at night) is a huge factor in the return of fertility. It’s not directly related to cosleeping, but the rules of ecological breastfeeding actually REQUIRE that the baby be waking at night to feed to ensure the delayed onset of fertility.
I’ve heard many moms claim they were “ecologically breastfeeding” and then be surprised that they would up pregnant after only a few months. They “weren’t doing any bottles or pacifiers” but upon further conversation the baby was sleeping in their own room at night and had been sleeping through the night.
On the flip side of that, I know several moms who decided to eliminate or reduce night time feeding after a certain age in order to become pregnant again. They were usually able to do this with success by simply transitioning to a toddler bed or floor bed in the same room or near by.
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@Dawn – I think you could probably move your baby into her own room/crib now if you wanted. But if she keeps waking up in the middle of the night you would just have to get up out of bed to attend to her, which might end up making you wish you’d left her in your room. I would grab a copy of the No Cry Sleep Solution and follow the guidelines there. It’s a very helpful guide to gently transitioning your baby/toddler. And you’ll know if your milk supply decreases because you’ll be able to feel the difference, and/or if she’s fussy.
Good luck!
@Heidi – You’re right about the fertility benefit. I always forget about that one because I got pregnant with #2 without ttc. But many moms struggle with that one so thanks for pointing it out!
You had me at “Contrary to what you might hear, it is not normal for a baby to sleep through the night.”
Women NEED to hear this more often so they are not spending the first 6+ months stressing over why they are failing at motherhood because they can not get their baby to sleep through the night. It is crazy!
Great post as usual
Rachael’s last blog post..Everyday heroes
I didn’t bed share with my babes but they were in a bassinet right beside me and this was regardless of whether or not I was bottle or breastfeeding…I was there when they needed me and made my life a lot easier too.
This one will be right beside my side of the bed too…safer when we have a big dog that hogs the bed anyway!
The demand feeding is the key..being in tune to your babies needs helps you bond and understand your child. BF or formula.
I am horrified by my sister in law who has not bonded with her child as he was in isolation after a difficult birth and then chucked into a ‘nursery’ and crib away from his mother and with parents who think you should let them cry it out and feed only when THEY think the child needs it.
It is KILLING ME.
And she was surprised that her child wasn’t gaining weight and her milk supply dwindled instantly.
Oh and as soon as my kids were mobile they all ended up in our bed so we did ‘late term bed sharing!’
crunchy’s last blog post..Primal Screams
Another great post! Lots of reassuring info… I am so happy to read more about co sleeping, I just naturally brought my boys to bed with me… I thought the crib looked too big & hard for a baby, & think that babies are too little to be alone.
I still crawl into bed with my three year old, even in his sleep he knows I am there & moves over to snuggle, it’s wonderful. With our second baby, I was worried that my husband would want the baby in a crib right away, but to my surprise, he is very happy to have the baby with us, & he loves it if I’m with our first son ~ because he gets the baby all to himself… He too can see that our older boy is very well grounded, he knows that this is a result of nursing on demand, & meeting our babies needs before “total baby meltdown” occurs.
I also went to a baby group & was disappointed at how co sleeping was somewhat discouraged, I put my two cents in, & made a point to speak with pride about my choices, I still do, but I wish that these groups were more informed about the positive sides to these issues. Perhaps we could contact some of these group leaders & help get these new moms onto this site… it is truly helpful!
Thanks for sharing mama’s, your words have built my confidence up again ~ sweet dreams.
Very informative post. I do enjoy reading things like this. I bedshare with my 9mo and, although it wasn’t planned before she was born, we quickly realised it was the best (and only) way for the family to get a decent amount of sleep. Did you know that, if their feeding is unrestricted, babies take roughly the same amount of milk at night throughout their whole first year (this is from a properly peer reviewed piece of research)? So those people who say that after six months their babies “are just nursing for comfort” are wrong.
I totally empathise with those who feel that bedsharing is a bit wrong, and feel guilty for it. That is how I felt for about six months until I was able to read more about the subject. I then realised that it was by far the best for my baby, and that my physical presence had already helped her to avoid SIDS. Co-sleeping rocks.
I just realised that I put the wrong URL in the above post (nappy brain). This one is correct. Sorry
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Good article and thanks for sharing..
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I have my own personal issues with co-sleeping. It just sincerely does not work for us. Nobody in our family sleeps well when the baby is in bed with us. However, with working and pumping, I HAD to feed my baby at night, or my supply would be in the toilet. Either I woke him up to feed him (which goes against ALL my doctor’s advice and my own belief in Weissbluth’s sleep training advice) or I pumped. Let me just say it was a LOT easier to feed him while I snoozed than to pump at 2 am, but will also say it’s not like I really “slept” while he ate. I cannot fall asleep properly with him in bed next to me. And neither can he. He kicks and grunts and tosses all night. Both my kids did that. Cosleeping and bedsharing never gave me any more sleep – it only kept me up.
I really do think there are babies (and I mean older babies, not newborns) who benefit greatly from having their own space to sleep in, and also from sleeping all night, uninterrupted. I just know so many people who’ve followed all Sears’s advice word for word, and then they end up with a pre-schooler who has terrible sleeping habits and is miserable all day. I think there is something incredibly important to be said for healthful sleep habits. Sleep is critical for development. And don’t get me started on how I think that Dr. Sears is a secret sexist.
My first son started sleeping 12 straight hours at night when he was just 6 weeks old. Trying to put him in bed with us just interrupted his groove and ticked him off. So I laid awake all night staring at him in the video monitor, wishing I could snuggle with him, but knowing that bringing him into bed with us wouldn’t be what was best for him.
And in our house, where both parents work in corporate America, that whole baby-keeping-me-up-all-night thing was not going to fly. My second baby just started sleeping all night long when I stopped waking him up at night to keep my supply up, and I have to say, I am a new person now that I’ve head a few weeks of uninterrupted sleep.
I dunno – It just bothers me that sleep has become this thing that mothers think they must sacrifice in order to be good moms. Well, not me. I think helping children sleep is just as important as all the other things we teach them. And my house is a lot more harmonious when everyone’s had a good night’s rest.
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What a great post! I am so glad you were able to come to the talk and that it inspired you to write this! Moms need to hear that their babies are not manipulating them and that it is OK to respond to them. So many moms will ask, when SHOULD my baby be sleeping through the night? We have to remember that every baby is different and that sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone, one that is reached at different times for different children. We can try to force it, but in the end, it becomes a stressful time for both mother and baby. Walking the path of motherhood is one of surrender and trust, not easy I know. Our bodies and our babies are wise to each others needs; if we can allow ourselves to just be “in it” and not try to change it, we can truly be present with our children and ourselves.
Catherine’s last blog post..there is transformation at the centre
I really enjoyed this! I was so conflicted about co-sleeping that we didn’t do it at all in the beginning. I was so worn out, and desperate to get sleep I began pumping and having my husband take one feeding a night. This never worked and I ended up nursing him anyway. Finally, I just started co-sleeping out of a need to sleep. This turned into a regular thing. Now, I put my son to sleep in his crib. He wakes up at 4 am to nurse, and we co sleep until 6:30 or so.
I realize now that bed sharing is a natural thing. I will definitely be starting it from the get go for our next child. Co-sleeping is such a wonderful feeling. I love to protect my son while he sleeps next to me. And my milk supply has never suffered!
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We coslept with our firstborn until 16 months. We nightweaned at 15 months (he nursed every hour 24/7 until this age) and bedweaned at 16 months. I was two months pregnant at the time. It wasn’t too bad with not nearly as much crying as I thought. My DH put him to bed and joined him in bed when he awoke. It took about 2 months of doing this. He started sleeping through the night most nights by 2. With our second,we’re cosleeping too and he’s a bit better with sleep than our first. He’s 9 months and no where near ready to night or bedwean and I think he’s too little. I don’t think there is a right age to bedwean; it’s whenever the mother is ready and is up for the task. I highly recommend Our Babies Ourselves.
[...] Bed Sharing – A good way to connect with and be there for our breastfeeding wee ones throughout the night, builds trust between mom and baby fostering healthy attachment, keeps mom’s milk supply levels up and helps protect our babies from SIDS. To read more about this go here. [...]
Hey,
This is such a wonderful post. Did you know that there is actually anthropological research that cosleeping is good for babies?
The method of sleeping in bed, in a room, alone with the door closed, is actually a very North American phenomenon and isn’t something that persisted through most of our natural evolution.
I’m very pleased to see this piece out on the web at large. I wish you loads of success in promoting this very important message.
cheers..
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