I didn’t think about breastfeeding very much at all when I was pregnant. I knew my extended family wouldn’t jump for joy that I planned to breastfeed for at least a year, but I knew I would do it anyway and I assumed it was easy. That was it.
Nearer to my due date my midwives told me to read Bestfeeding: Getting Breastfeeding Right For You, citing it as one of the best books about breastfeeding. I guess it was good, but it was full of diagrams and information that made my head swim. Without a baby on my lap to practice with, it was like studying for a pop quiz on an untaught subject. It’s hard to memorize breastfeeding techniques before a baby arrives! So I basically stuck with pouring all of my energy into having my dream birth experience instead. You know. I read Birthing From Within from cover to cover and did all the artsy exercises which I then placed in my pregnancy scrapbook, I pre-natal yoga’ed, I listened to what I expected to be my birthing music every night as I fell asleep, I visualized, I journaled, I planned, and I made my bedroom into a cosy birthing nest. And then when the dream got shattered and my heart got punctured like a balloon with a scalpel, breastfeeding was all I had left to save things.
Luckily, breastfeeding went well. Luckily I got over the trauma of my very unexpected wemustdoitnowbeforeyourwaterbreakscesareansection (one day I’ll write about it). I think I owe a lot of that to successful breastfeeding. Luckily, I was one of the lucky ones.
In another life I would have done more to prepare. Top of the list? Go to a La Leche League meeting while you’re still pregnant. There’s nothing like seeing and hearing about breastfeeding live to make things stick.
It’s your turn. How much thought or preparation did you give to breastfeeding when you were first pregnant?
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Tags: La Leche League, Monday Musings, pregnancy
I knew there could be complications, so I chose my hospital based on the most breastfeeding friendly and found a lactation consultant.
La Leche League gorups can have very different vibes and I knew I wasn’t crunchy enough or AP enough for the local group.
If your family is not going to be a support system for breastfeeding it is important to set up an alternative that fits who you are. You might not need it, but it is pretty hard to do it after things go wrong.
I was just talking about having breastfeeding goals during pregnancy to someone. I think it is so important. I don’t think if I had done that, or if I wasn’t so determined to meet that goal of breastfeeding for at least a year, that I would have made it past the first few days.
I wish I had gone to an LLL meeting. I did take a breastfeeding class and got to know the hospital lactation consultant that we ended up working with quite closely. I did read breastfeeding books. Nothing really prepared me like actually doing it though.
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I knew I wanted to at least try it before I was pregnant with my son. I knew it was best for him, and I thought it would be selfish of me to not even try it. I did approach it with an open mind though. I know there are complications and issues and wouldn’t beat myself up if it wasn’t the choice for us. Luckily, I had a great lactation consultant when he was born (3 weeks early with no ability to suck) who encouraged me to pump and keep trying to get him to latch on. He finally got it when he was 4 weeks old.
I’m pregnant now and found it very odd that they asked me if I planned to breast or formula feed when I was 7 weeks pregnant. I said breast since I’ve got some experience now. They still gave me a Similac pack of stuff (including formula). I personally thought it was weird they assumed people to know so early without any education.
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I gave it a LOT of thought, but then again I’m the oldest of 4 kids and my mom was a LLL leader, so I grew up going to meetings. Besides, after hauling these @%^#& things around for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS (I was a C cup in FOURTH grade!) I was damn well going to use them for what they were made for! And I knew that birth was not in my control, but breastfeeding was something I could and would master, eventually. Sure enough, instead of my needle free “don’t even touch me!” birth I ended up with an emergency c-section (since I had THOROUGHLY educated myself and pre thought all the scenarios, and since I had a doula that would back me in whatever I decided I felt in control of the decision making, and thus at peace with my c-section under full anesthesia) As soon as I woke up in recovery Isaac latched on and nursed and we never had any problems. But I was VERY well prepared, I’d watched my mom nurse my siblings, I’d gone to several LLL meetings, I had read a TON, my doula was also a Lactation consultant and the friend who was going to be my labor coach had nursed two babies of her own….I was frankly a little obbsessed with the breastfeeding thing!
I didn’t give breastfeeding a ton of thought, but I did think about it. I read “Womanly Art of Breastfeeding” from LLL, and had a breastfeeding session as part of my prenatal class.
If I were to do it again I would focus less on the technical aspects. Diagrams, naming positions and all of that makes it seem harder than it really is. Which isn’t to say that it’s not difficult, but the difficulty can’t be avoided by memorizing information. With my second child I took a much lower-key approach, and followed his lead. Nursed in positions we both found comfortable. It worked MUCH better for us.
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I thought about it a LOT.
I read books & talked to LLL folks & a friend of mine, whose baby is about 5 months older than mine, was VERY supportive.
I knew I would do everything I could to breastfeed — AND I DID!
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My first birth was very different than my second! Prior to my first birth, I figured I would attempt to breastfeed. My husband and I attended a class. We were so shocked by the images of babies latching on naked nipples that we didn’t pay much attention. Ha! I read the chaper on breastfeeding in Dr. Sears THE BABY BOOK, which was very upbeat. After I had an unexpected c-section, I still wanted to try breastfeeding. My son and I stumbled all over the place. We made lots of mistakes. I realized how unprepared I was (didn’t even bring my boppy to the hospital!) I assumed the nurses and lactation consultants would be oncall 24 hours to help me with every feeding. Ha!
I know why I didn’t prepare more — it’s because I was lukewarm on breastfeeding. So therefore I felt like the prep work wasn’t necessary. It would be nice is hospitals could provide more support to new Moms (like me) who didn’t prep on their own ahead of time, but with adequate support in the hospital, coaching, and cheer-leading, they can leave the hospital confident in their breastfeeding abilities.
After I had my unexpected c-section, and had to stay in the hospital for FOUR DAYS, I remember remarking to my husband “Well, at least I will get lots of help in the hospital with breastfeeding”…. NOT!!!
Unlike most moms to be I focused less on the labour preparations and turned more effort on breastfeeding. The way I figured it was labour and birth (although requires preparation and is a very important event) only lasted one or two days of your life whereas breastfeeding had more of an impact on my life and definitely would impact my child in the present and in the future. That really stressed me out especially since no one I knew had breastfed and those that tried had the typical things you hear about like “I did not have enough milk”. I read everything I could get my hands on and realized the misconceptions of breastfeeding were so prevalent. I went to LLL meetings and lucky for me not only did I get support I met some of my bestest friends there. I thought LLL was going to be only for women who didn’t shave (I wax actually) but I am glad I went anyways! Luckily for me breastfeeding was a smooth and wonderful event with all 3 of my children.
I actually prepared quite a bit. I read ‘The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding’ and ‘Dr. Jack Newman’s Guide to Breastfeeding’ and went to two or three LLL meetings before my daughter’s birth. I knew many people who were breastfeeding or who had breastfed and I felt like I’d have a great deal of support (including a mom who breastfed all three of her kids to a year back in the late 70′s/early 80s).
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I didn’t really think about breastfeeding during my first pregnancy as panic about it. My mother breastfed my sister and I for 9 months, my moms best friend my whole childhood was a lactation consultant who breastfed her kids (about 8 years younger than my sister and I) until they were toddlers. It was something that I just assumed mothers did. That’s how you feed a baby, right? My panic was always centered around my not being able to do it right or forgetting to feed the baby and having her starve (if you know me at all, you would understand why that might be a concern of mine). It was strange and irrational panic but that was all the thought I put into it. After my daughter was born, I wouldn’t say I was a natural but she was a frantic and avid nurser which helped keep my determination up. My husband was more then supportive and obviously my parents as well. I do agree with the first comment by Jenny when she said that if you don’t have a supportive family it’s really important to find support elsewhere. I attended my first LLL meeting when my daughter was 6 weeks old and have been going for 10 years now. It’s more than breastfeeding support to me. It’s friends, community, network of mothers and shared knowledge. If not LLL though, then a moms group or something. We all need a hand up once in a while.
Twenty one years ago, when I had my first baby, it never occurred to be that I would do anything other than breastfeed. I didn’t by any formula milk or bottles “just in case”; the same way as I refused a ‘hospital birth’.
To me both are entirely natural, and i had faith in my body and my innate ability as a woman.
As it turned out, my first baby weighed 9lb 6oz and was a ‘problem delivery’ – but still home birthed. My 7th baby was also a home birth in a pool and latched on as soon as she surfaced, despite being told I was too old and had to many births to ‘risk’ a natural birth – it was totally wonderful – and we bf for 2 years.
I am now expecting my 8th baby, and will prob b/f her for 2 years like the rest.
Now I am older I have lots of experience and have spent 20 years either b/f or pregnant or both! I now know the problems that can happen, and worked as a NCT instructor when in the UK.
However, I think my of my early success was my ignorance. I expected it to work…and it did.
I later did post grad research on breastfeeding, and became passionate about it from the political side too. I often lend my books to midwives who are fascinated by my collection.
In my 8th pregnancy I am aware of all the risks, and I am more anxious and almost looking for problems.
None of my family BF, and my mother still starts muttering about weaning at 4 months, but I KNOW I will b/f on demand, sling wear and co sleep as it works for us
Luckily I run my own business, so can combine baby and work (kinda – lol).
its great there is help and support for women..but I think the technical side and list of potential problems aren’t the best place to start
I never thought about it or didn’t think about it. I planned to breastfeed because it seemed like the only logical thing to do but I don’t remember ever “deciding” to breastfeed. Does that make sense??
Like a previous poster, I never even imagined that I wouldn’t breastfeed, or that I would have problems–so it all happened quite naturally! I spent my whole pregnancy convinced I would breastfeed. I never considered another option (as a breastfed child myself, I have never considered formula an adequate substitute). When my baby was born without drugs, she was able to latch on within minutes. 14 months later she is still nursing beautifully. Sure, it was hard during the first 6 weeks or so–intense soreness, mastitis, supply issues, etc. But quitting was just never an option so none of it fazed me too much. It wasn’t that I gritted my teeth and said “Dammit–I will breastfeed!!!” It was more like I just couldn’t imagine feeding my child any other way, so I did what I needed to do. Which made it all pretty easy.
I honestly did not think about breastfeeding at all. I knew I was going to try it, and I knew I wanted to be sucessful but that was about all the thought I put into it. I was way to focused on the labour and birth part, reading books and learning about everything your body needed to go through. I was invited to a free breastfeeding class, but wasn’t avaiable at the time. It wasn’t untill after I gave birth and my midwife told me to try breastfeeding that I relized I had no idea what I was doing, she sent me home with a book about breastfeeding. that book and the internet was all I had and we did fine, thank god we did not have any issues or I’m not sure we would have breastfed till 15 months.
I love Monday Musings and reading everyone’s different thought and experiences. Thanks to everyone for commenting.
@Jenny – You make a good point that LLL is not for everyone and some groups just don’t fit some moms. I’m glad you agree that setting up a support system is an important thing to have on hand. Like you said, an LC is an excellent resource as well
@Brenna – I think commitment to bfing can really get a lot of moms through any rough patches.
@Stephanie – I’m surprised they are asking moms what they plan on doing. Perhaps it isn’t the most pc thing to do but I think drs should assume all moms will breastfeed. Then maybe the rates would improve because other moms will realize it’s the expected thing to do.
@Amber – Good point. Feeling like you have to memorize anything is not constructive to the bfing relationship and the jitters of a new mom.
@Alina – Yes, the misconceptions we have about the abilities and helpfulness of hospital staff…. So unfortunate.
@Sam – It sounds like breastfeeding was just in your DNA the way breathing is perhaps. No questions, no thoughts, we just do it so we can live.
@Toni – Reading your response just reminds me of my own experience. I’m so glad that you didn’t have any bfing problems either.
@Libby – WOW! You are an inspiration!
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Unfortunately I gave very little thought to breastfeeding while pregnant. I spent so much time worrying about all the little details I missed a huge one in studying how I was going to feed my little one.
[...] 9 Things Pregnant Moms Need & Pocket Dots Giveaway Hello there! Welcome to Breastfeeding Moms Unite! If you are new here, you might want to subscribe to my RSS feed. I hope you enjoy your visit today and come back soon!If I knew what I know now and was pregnant for the first time, I would do things a little differently. I would wear a couple of new products, I would read a couple of new books and I would inform myself in other ways, like attending a La Leche League meeting. [...]