Ah, the early days of breastfeeding. They can be everything from painful and frustrating and full of teary moments to joyous, rewarding, and pride-instilling. But the one thing for sure, unless you are a breastfeeding expert before actually having your first child (Anyone? Anyone? Hm. Unlikely.) is realizing it is nothing like what you imagined it would be.
My Misconception #1: Nipple size. I always assumed you had to have really big nipples to breastfeed, and I thought mine were way too small for a baby to latch onto. I was so stressed about this when I was pregnant that I made my midwives inspect them. It was then I learned that my nipple size was normal, albeit slightly smaller, but that I had nothing to worry about. But has anyone else noticed how big some nipples look in pictures of other breastfeeding moms? This made me realize just how clueless most of us women are when it comes to the normalcy of all different body shapes.
My Misconception #2: Pain. For the first few weeks after my first daughter’s birth, breastfeeding was a bit painful sometimes – just the way I assumed it would be. But I decided I would stick it out, just like all the millenia of mothers before me. I assumed there was no need to complain if this was what I was set on doing, which I was. I told my midwives that breastfeeding was going well. I knew she was getting enough because she was gaining weight and had lots of wet and poopy diapers, so I assumed that was all they needed to know. When they saw me nurse in the first few days they thought her latch looked fine. Looking back, I think it was pretty good to start with because I received lots of good tips about latching and received help from the maternity nurses in the hospital, who although they had differing opinions about holds, did spend some time with me to help ensure we got it right. But then during a midwife visit a few weeks later my midwife asked me how my nipples were. I confessed they were cracked and bleeding. I had been using lanolin on them which helped immensely but it was still painful to nurse her. With one minor adjustment to our positioning the pain disappeared. My nipples healed and I had three years of painless breastfeeding. My second daughter latched well and I had no pain nursing her at all. I don’t know if it was my knowledge about positioning or that she caught on well to nursing or a combination of the two, but knowing that breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt gave me all the ammunition I needed to get help if it had.
My Misconception #3: My own determination to nurse in public. Another misconception I had was about myself and my ability to breastfeed whenever and wherever I needed to. I grew up in a very modest household and couldn’t see myself nursing in public or around other people. But I surprised myself early on by pressing through my fear of ridicule and criticism and I breastfed when my daughter was hungry. The more I did it out in public, the more comfortable I became, and the less self-conscious I felt.
There are many misconceptions around breastfeeding. Some people even call some of these misconceptions “breastfeeding myths.” There can be misconceptions about how much the baby needs to nurse or how long they need to nurse per feed, the “right” weaning age, milk supply, and even breastfeeding supplies: what’s needed versus what isn’t. Even moms who consider themselves informed on the subject of breastfeeding (I thought I was) can feel humbled by this new experience.
What have you learned since becoming a nursing mother that changed your perceptions about breastfeeding or yourself? Let me know by leaving a comment. And stay tuned for tomorrow’s post where I share with you what I have found to be the most practical breastfeeding essentials for new moms.
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Yay! I can’t wait until the next post. This one was a good one too of course. I just don’t have anything to contribute… yet!
CaroLyn’s last blog post..The Worried Pregnant Tourist in Barbados
All the nurses at the hospital told me that breastfeeding was painful….toe curling pain is what one nurse called it and precisely what I was experiencing. A major design flaw I thought – why would anyone do this. Luckily I found a truly wonderful lactation consultant and discovered it’s not supposed to be painful and my little guy had a pretty severe tongue tie. Once clipped we are pain-free. All you Mom’s to be…it’s NOT supposed to hurt. Get the support you need and you will be one happy breastfeeding mama!!!
MamaKaz’s last blog post..The Worm
My mom told me I would have not trouble breastfeeding (based on her experience) but I actually did have some problems with a labor drug affected baby and my milk not coming in untill day 5! I also was susprised that everyone (including my midwife) had trouble beliving I would actually breastfeed even though I told them at every appointment. I was susprised how quickly hospital staff was eager to give formula at any little hiccup in breastfeeding. It was just complicated and I didn’t know what was going on half the time. I did end up nursing my first past two years asnd on the second with my second!
Naomi’s last blog post..Mama Don’t let your babies grow up to be Doctors
I was so scared I wasn’t going to be able to breastfeed when I was pregnant. I hated my breasts as a young pre-mama because they were pendulous and large (not perky like my friends) and I think my self-hate turned into that fear. I used to dream that I couldn’t nurse.
Turns out, breastfeeding was the most empowering thing for me! My breasts worked perfectly and as I watched them feed my healthy and growing baby and learned to love my breasts and I now have a new appreciation for them. Giving them a function (a very important function!) was the best thing I could have done for my body image.
Another preconception I had was that people were going to harass me about bfing in public. I geared up to have a fight wherever I went except I have bf’ed EVERYWHERE for the past five years and no one has ever given me a problem. In fact people are quite respectful. That was a nice surprise
flowers’s last blog post..Transformations
I ended up going to a not-Baby Friendly Certified hospital after giving birth (which was not the plan). I was told may conflicting things by nurses and even the lactation consultants, but the biggest one for me was how often you are supposed to feed a breastfed baby.
Everyone kept telling me that I was supposed to feed her every 3 hours for 10 minutes on each side. After I got home, I realized that though that is good for how often/long you should try to get a newborn to feed, it isn’t how it’s supposed to continue.
After a lot of confusion, I started breastfeeding on demand for as long as she wanted on one side per feeding (unless she still seems hungry, then I give her the other side). My baby spits up A LOT and if she was still eating every 3 hours, she would probably be failing to thrive. Thank god for LLLI!
I thought (despite the reading I did on the subject) that it would just work. And it didn’t. At all. I was heartbroken, and upset that I would have to actually work on breastfeeding.
It took 5 weeks before I was happy with it. We had to introduce a shield, then wean from it. And then he had to relearn to breastfeed.
My other misconception, I assumed I wouldn’t NIP without a cover. It took a few months, but I will NIP anywhere, anytime. I am not ashamed. In fact, I am very proud of my nursing relationship with my son.
Good post!
I was one of those fortunate ones who struggled with oversupply and overactive letdown. I was told it would be over by 3 months. I was engorged until around the 12 month mark. I still have overactive letdown sometimes, too. Since we bedshare, I still sleep on a towel to keep the bed from being soaked from my breasts when she nurses at night. She’s 14 months old!
Heather’s last blog post..The No Poo Experiment (cont)
@MamaKaz – thanks for that shout out. Yes moms it is true. And the nurses don’t know this information because most of them are not taught breastfeeding practice in school. Yes, even the maternity nurses!
@Naomi – Good for you for doing what you se tout to do. It irritates me to no end how unsupportive hospital staff can be. Just the people you assume will help you be successful. Argh!
@flowers – I can relate to the body image thing too. As above re: my nipple size anxieties.
@Claire – YES! Thank god for LLL is right. I am glad you found them and that they were helpful. So many moms struggle alone when they don’t have to.
@Heather – Okay. While I wasn’t still soaking the matress at 14 mos I am the only one of my friends who still leaks after over two years. Glad to see I’m not alone but I’m sorry for your soggy bed.
I was like you, I just assumed breastfeeding was supposed to be painful. When it became increasingly painful with my first baby (I was 18 at the time), I just tried to “suck it up” and deal with it. I had no support or information at the time, and this was before search engines or LLLI websites. So I tried as much as I could and eventually gave up, by 6 weeks postpartum, when the pain was just too great, and I had to go back to work anyway.
When I got pregnant again 13 years later, with my now-2 1/2 yr old, I did research and read every book I could get my hands on, because I was determined to be successful. I found out what I was probably experiencing with my first was a wicked yeast infection. I had a bit of a rough start with her, and it took us a good 8 weeks to get it down solid, but this time I knew it wasn’t supposed to hurt, so I just worked on every aspect until we got it just right. Now on my third, we are going strong at 11 months old, and have never had more than minor latch adjustments.
Emily Jones’s last blog post..World Birthing Rights Day
that it was easy and came naturally and that you will immediately have a lot of milk. my 2 friends who gave birth before me told me their babies immediately latched on like pros, so i expected my Naima to do the same. I wasn’t prepared for the sore and bleeding nipples, alleged breastmilk jaundice, low milk supply, plugged ducts, etc.etc.. I researched and read stuff on my own, consulted with several LCs and happily, we are still nursing full-time at 18 months
Jenny’s last blog post..For Tech-Savy Mommas
I had a few…I thought that breast size was related to how much milk a woman could produce (I’m an almost-A when not nursing, so I was worried when I was pg with my 1st- but I have constant OVERsupply issues, take THAT almost-A! lol!). I also thought that it would be totally natural and easy from the beginning, so I never did any research (it had never occured to me to NOT breastfeed, so I didn’t think I needed to read about it); I was completely unprepared for engorgement and the difficulty my first had with latching. And the biggest misconception I had was that I would have total support from the pediatrition. It turns out that the only people who supported me 100% were my husband and my mom. I know I never would have made it past that first week without them!
psumommy’s last blog post..SPC: Shoes I
I was surprised by how much of my day was spent just breastfeeding. My first child would breastfeed for 45 minutes at a stretch, and hours of cluster feeding in the evening. It seemed like all I did all day was breastfeed. Definitely not the 10-20 minutes per side they discussed in childbirth classes!
Amber’s last blog post..Hanging Clothes to Dry
My biggest misconception was that my baby would want to feed every 2-3 hours and that I would be spoiling her if I nursed her more often. Big mistake! New mothers should be told that newborns nurse practically all the time (as Amber says above), and that it is OK to let them do it. I wasted many hours trying to stop my tiny baby crying when all she wanted was to suckle.
If I have any more babies I will be firmly ensconced on the sofa for the first 6 weeks.
Cave Mother’s last blog post..Have Attached Baby, Will Travel
[...] 9, 2009 Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite published a wonderful post yesterday on her initial misconceptions regarding breastfeeding. Funny, [...]
#1 – i was shocked (like many other commenters) at how hard it was to get started. luckily i was committed to being a nursing mom so i stuck with it, but it took at least 6 to 8 weeks to get to the point where it was easy.
#2 – i also expected pumping to be easier than it was…but that could be a whole other post in itself, so let’s just say i learned to live with it and move on.
After 17 months of breastfeeding my son, I’m just now discovering my misconceptions about the weaning process. Namely, that it is easy and happens overnight. There are many factors that affect the weaning decision, and once you decide to begin the process, you find out that it is truly a PROCESS! My son is still very attached to the breast, and I may end up nursing in some capacity until he’s 2 or older, because stopping cold turkey is emotionally and physically painful and slowly cutting back on feedings takes a very long time. There is so much information out there about nursing a newborn, but very little about the challenges of weaning a toddler (when you can’t or don’t want to just replace feedings with bottles).
Chelsea’s last blog post..You know he’s not a baby anymore when…