A few months ago there was a piece in our local paper about how the Canadian Human Rights Commission (HRC) shouldn’t be used to protect the rights of breastfeeding moms to nurse in public. The slightly right-of-center male youth who writes a political opinion piece each week was specifically referring to two women (Manuela Valle of Vancouver, B.C. and Allison Loblaw of London, ON) who filed complaints with their provincial Human Rights Tribunals to protest that their rights had been violated when they were asked to leave a store while breastfeeding their babies. The story can be found here.
The columnist thought that the HRC should be reserved for “real issues” of gender and race rights violations, and that if breastfeeding moms want to fight for their rights to breastfeed in public then a nurse-in would be a much better natural response to their issue. That was the gist of his argument and I apologize for not including his original letter as I never saved a copy of it.
I felt that he had little respect for and even less understanding of a breastfeeding mom’s right to nurse in public. He even wrote that he hoped no “militant breast-feeders” would reply. Likely because as a teenage boy he is not really equipped to write about a breastfeeding mother’s rights let alone go head-to-head in a debate with one in the first place. Naturally, I sent him the following letter. I thought it kind of tied in nicely to my last post Monday Musings: Changing Culture.
Dear Editor,
In response to the Opinion column “Rights commissions not the place,” sorry Mr. Morrow, but here’s the letter from the “militant breast-feeder” that you didn’t want to receive.
I want to point out to you that your paragraph: “And quite frankly to compare being embarrassed by clerks at a store with legitimate hardships that some people have faced because of race or sex, is insulting to all those who have fought for the cause of true equality in Canada,” completely contradicts the point you are trying to make and the rights of women and minorities you are trying to support.
Once upon a time, the members of our First Nations community didn’t have many rights and some of them were told that they weren’t welcome in some businesses too. It is highly likely they felt embarrassed (and insulted!) and like they were being treated like a criminal, like Ms Valle, yet many complied, just like many breastfeeding women comply.
When a group of people are marginalized and know it and there isn’t widespread public support for their freedoms, a lot of people don’t bother to speak up. “What’s the point?” they think, “why create a scene?” But there is a point, it’s called freedom, and then the brave ones who file the complaints get the flack. Shame.
Because of the Human Rights Commission shop owners can’t tell someone they aren’t welcome based on the colour of their skin. They’re free to be racist, but not out loud. This is what we want for breastfeeding mothers. Safe places regardless of personal opinion. If you’re offended then look away!
Maybe while we’re waiting for society to stop being so prudish business owners can opt for a sign in their window that says “No Breastfeeding.” It can go right beside the ones that say “No Food or Drink in Store” and “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service.” Then yes, I would take my business elsewhere but so would the barefoot bikini wearing slurpee drinkers. But perhaps a “No Breastfeeding” sign would tarnish the image of the business owner (especially if he is situated next door to a friendlier shop where there is a sign that welcomes breastfeeding mothers), harkoning back to the “No Indians” signs of earlier times. You might think this isn’t a fair comparison, but to quote Margaret Mead “it takes a small group of committed thoughtful citizens to change the world” and now breastfeeding moms are taking their turn to be that small group fighting for their legal right to breastfeed publicly to get recognized. By using the HRC as leverage people like the mothers in the news are helping to educate the masses, that all mothers have the right to breastfeed in public – so please get used to it! And shop owners, unless you’re brave enough to place a sign in your window saying otherwise, be prepared to welcome the breastfeeding mother. Either that or just look away.
So? What do you think?
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Tags: breastfeeding rights
I think your response is very well written! Kudos!
Heidi’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
i was wondering if you’ve seen this article in the UK Times Online about how the benefits of breastfeeding are greatly exaggerated? *sigh* more fodder for writers like Mr. Morrow
Good for you for writing a letter. I’m still trying to understand how this young man doesn’t recognise that discriminating against nursing mothers and making them feel unwelcome in public spaces IS a “gender issue.” Last time I checked only women could breastfeed babies so it is indeed a violation in that the discrimination is based on our gender’s ability to produce milk for our young. Someone saying “You can’t breastfeed here” is essentially saying “You can’t be a mother here.” If that’s not a human rights violation, I don’t know what is.
Regarding the Times article on the study about breastfeeding’s “exaggerated benefits”, I wrote a post on this yesterday that you may want to check out. http://noblesavage.me.uk/2009/.....st-normal/
I love your blog, keep up the fantastic work!
Your response is great!
Attitudes that suggest breastfeeding isn’t important or shouldn’t be done publicly serve to discourage nursing mothers. Writing us off as ‘militant’ and implying that our concerns aren’t ‘real’ underscores how unfriendly our culture is towards nursing mothers. In my mind this confirms WHY we need bodies like the HRC to defend our rights. This is how we are going to ensure that mothers feel safe and comfortable feeding their babies at the breast as nature intended.
Amber’s last blog post..Going Part-Time
I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog.
Fortunately, I have not yet experienced–at least that I have been aware of–any discrimination breastfeeding in public. I live in Los Angeles and am not sure if it’s due to living in a big city or if I am just simply exhausted and oblivious.
I let it all hang out. I don’t fuss with a cover. My breast has become the least “sexual” thing on my body in the last seven months. I want people to realize that a breastfeeding mother is doing one of the most natural things a human can do after birthing her child–I want them to get used to “seeing” it.
I want the attitudes to change and I want to be a tiny part of making it all happen.
Congratulation on such a direct and clear response. I breastfed my son for more than a year and never had that problem. Still, when something like this happens I feel as stressed and humiliated as those who have lived this awful experience.
My support here for your cause!
Great letter and thank you, on behalf of us all, for speaking up so clearly and intelligently.
@Jenny – I saw it. It made me tired. And sad. No matter how old some breastfeeding information is, and I do agree it needs to keep updated to properly serve families, breastfeeding is still what nature intended for our babies. It’s like comparing pop tarts and oatmeal. Oats are whole foods, pop tarts are processed. Pop tarts might be yummy and have a few “nutrients” in them that makes us feel a little better about eating them, but oats are still better for you than pop tarts. Maybe pop tarts don’t cause obesity, maybe they don’t (on their own) contribute to diabetes, etc, but they weren’t originally meant for human consumption. Nuff said.
@The Noble Savage – Exactly. It was actually what caught me off guard the most about his letter. How can breastfeeding not be a gender issue? It has gender written all over it. I actually have no idea how I overlooked that point in my letter. Must have got wrapped up in the direction of race.
@mamamilieu – Good for you! I often have that exhausted and oblivious thing going on too. Goes hand-in-hand with motherhood. Protects us sometimes too I think. Those are the days I also forget breasts are viewed as sexual objects. “What? These things are sexual?” The more we breastfeed in public, the more it’s seen, the less it will be viewed as strange and the more normal it will become.
@lvlc @Heidi – Thanks for your support! One thing I forgot to add was that only one response to my letter was published a week later. It was by a woman and basically said “agree, agree, agree, but please breastfeeding moms, have some modesty and use a cover.” Wasn’t quite the support I was after.
@Amber – right on. Exactly how I feel.
You’re much more articulate than I would have been.
I’d probably have responded with, “Sorry that I’m a GIRL.”
ROCK ON!
You didn’t sound militant at all!