I just finished reading the latest edition of Mothering Magazine. Hands up, who else has read Breastfeeding in the Land of Genghis Khan? I just about wet my pants it was so funny. But even more so, it is a huge eye opener for how breastfeeding can be. For those of you who haven’t read it, it is written by Ruth Kamnitzer, a Canadian woman who lived in Mongolia with her husband and son from the time her son was four months old until he was three. I’m going to re-hash it here for you (Warning: spoilers ahead!), like I re-hashed it for my husband (read on for his response) but I still encourage you to read it for the details.
It’s Funny To Get Sprayed in The Eye With Breast Milk
Mongolian breastfeeding culture is drastically different from North American prevailing norms. Mongolia is a place where breastfeeding is embraced, encouraged and catered to, not only for babies but full grown children as well.
Most Mongolian children self-wean or breastfeed “to term.” The author reports that most children give up the breast between ages two and four, but some, like her friend, go on to breastfeed until they are nine! This leads me to wonder if this is the country that tips the scales on the world average weaning age! ”In 2005, according to Unicef, 82 percent of children in Mongolia continued to breastfeed at 12-15 months, and 65 percent were still doing so at 20-23 months.” [Source: Mothering Magazine] However, the youngest children just keep going! (Uh-oh. What does this mean for me? My second daughter is our last child!) Mongolians believe that breast milk makes children grow up to be big and strong. Cooing strangers encourage moms to keep nursing by saying things like, “Breast milk is good for him. He will grow up to be a good wrestler!” Older kids often self-wean due to finally losing interest and peer pressure.
Breastfeeding moms are treated like royalty and fully accommodated to nurse in public without shame. The author reports that people will come right up to you to see the baby breastfeeding. If by chance your baby suddenly unlatches itself and your breast sprays the onlooker in the eye with some milk, he or she will just laugh and wipe it off.
People are just so laid back about it. If a mom is suffering from engorgement she will go around the house asking anyone if they would like a drink, or she’ll express some in a cup and leave it in the fridge as a treat. Not only is breast milk valued and celebrated, Mongolians actually like the taste of it. Maybe it’s because most of them can remember breastfeeding from their own mothers.
The funniest part of the article was when the author was talking about cultural differences in one’s approach to guidance techniques. When her two year old son and another child started fighting over a toy, her approach was to try to distract while teaching about the principle of sharing. A 50 % success rate. When emotions were out of control she would settle him in her lap for a feed. By comparison, her friend’s approach was this: Whenever there was a murmur of discord she would pull out her boob and begin waving it around, enthusiastically chanting “Come see mommy! Look what I have for you!” Her success rate? 100%. Now here’s where it gets halarious. I need to do a direct quote for this one:
“Not to be outdone, I adopted the same strategy. There we were, two mothers flapping our breasts like competing strippers, trying to entice a client. If the grandparents were around, they’d get in the act. The poor kids wouldn’t know where to look – the reassuring fullness of their own mother’s breasts, granny’s withered pancake boasting its long experience, or the strange mound of flesh granddad was squeezing up in breast envy. Try as I might, I can’t picture a similar scene at a La Leche League meeting.”
Does Mongolia have La Leche League Groups or Lactation Consultants?
I re-counted this article to my husband whose response was very interesting. He had a very thoughtful response.
“Do you know about that breastfeeding clinic getting shut down in Toronto?” he asked. He’s an avid CBC listener, the Canadian version of NPR.
“Yes,” I replied, making a mental note to post about it one of these days. “Jack Newman’s clinic. He’s the world’s most controversial, renowned breastfeeding expert. He’s written some great books”.
“Yeah, him. Do you know where he got his start in breastfeeding?” I waited to see where he was going with this. “He used to be just a regular doctor who one day travelled to Africa and observed babies dying due to the promotion of infant formula. Their moms were discouraged from breastfeeding.” He pauses. “What makes Jack Newman inspiring is not his medical school credentials, but his passion for seeing breastfeeding as the most natural and healthy way to feed a baby. He believes in the women he helps and helps them to believe in themselves.”
“He’s his own mini La Leche League!”
“Do you think Mongolia has La Leche League or Lactation Consultants?” he asks. I quickly try to visualize a handful of Mongolian moms in a dusty community center listening to a leader talk about the benefits of breast milk in the first six months. It makes me snort a little. “The mothers are the experts. They assist each other in becoming their own experts. That’s partly what he does, what his clinic does. That’s what makes them so effective.”
Mongolia has been one of the countries least touched by Western influence possibly due to it’s lack of exploitable resources, so maybe the usual western corporate suspects never got a foothold there to discourage breastfeeding. In some ways, maybe living in Mongolia isn’t much different than living here one hundred years ago in terms of valuing natural and traditional child-rearing practices. And it seems that even with the addition of the obvious societal advances like cars and television, for now, they’ve managed to retain a natural way of life I envy.
I believe the success of Mongolian breastfeeding culture has to do with the ease and acceptance around breastfeeding by a society of people who don’t feel the need to flap their arms around or make a big deal about what nature intended women to use their breasts for. And when problems arise, an entire society is there to support them through it. Can you imagine such a thing here? What a difference it would make to our breastfeeding rates past the first few days and weeks if we had that kind of support, that kind of culture. While I have no desire to move to Mongolia, I certainly have a new interest in visiting, breastfed toddler in tow.
Related posts:
- Breastfeeding Moms Don’t Have To Introduce Cow’s Milk
- Feminism and Equality For Breastfeeding Women
- Breastfeeding Nature’s Way
Tags: breast milk, Jack Newman, La Leche League, Mothering Magazine
Posted by Breastfeeding General, Breastfeeding Toddler, My Values, Nursing In Public Subscribe to RSS feed
what a great read to start off my day! Thank you!!
What a FANTASTIC post! I also loved the article and have shared that boob waving story with a bunch of friends.
Two things I want to reply to:
1) A few months ago I was lucky enough to hear Diane Weissinger give her most enlightened talk, “What Would Mammals Do?” She is a Cornell educated biologist, a well known lactation consultant and was a LLL leader for years. I was able to chat with her privately before the talk started and what she said to me (paraphrasing) was that unfortunately in all her work and research she’s come to understand that lactation consultants may have done more harm than good in the overall scheme of things. Shocking, right?! She discusses in her talk how any breastfeeding problems can always be traced back to birth and how it’s a continuum. If you want healthy breastfeeding relationships you need healthy birth practices and then breastfeeding (for the most part) just happens naturally. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. It was a fascinating talk.
2) My neighbor and I were discussing the Mongolian tactic of using the breast to fix any and all problems. We both have young children and boy it gets tiring, “Honey, don’t hit the other baby…it’s time to share our toys….” It’s like talking to an alien creature, but still we do it over and over. We laughed at the story and then looked at each other–maybe mothering isn’t as hard as we’re making it! A few minutes later we were waving our boobs around here living room enticing our 18 month old and 22 month old to stop from clobbering each other!
I enjoyed this post. (Hillary’s comment was hilarious too.)
I also wonder though about offering food as a distraction. Does it set children up for using food as a distraction from stress later in life? Hmm…
~Tara
I’m back, but I promise to keep it short
Here is a link to Diane Weissinger’s thoughts on, “It’s the Birth Silly!”
http://www.normalfed.com/Starting/birthsilly.html
Tara, I’m thinking about how breastfeeding is so much more than just food. I know my toddler wants to nurse whenever he gets hurt and the moment we walk in our front door. It seems to be less of a food need and more of a connecting feeling. In this way a baby would be distracted come and nurse for a second and then toddle off forgetting their intention to steal the toy etc.
just my 2 cents
What a great post! And I must say that I would love to be able to flap my boobs around as a distraction tactic. It just might work…
I have to say I MUST read this article because I was laughing out loud alone in my office!
I also have to say what a cool husband you have, being so thoughtful about Dr Newman’s passion in helping women become experts & believe in themselves.
What a great post!
I am still laughing! So very funny! YOU, by the way, have a knack for highlighting the funny parts and bringing the essence of the story to life! Did your husband have any particular comment about the boob waving?? Or did he just dive right in to the story on Dr. Newman?? Sadly I had not heard Jack Newman’s clinic was going to shut down.. again… I JUST got an order from him as I often do, to use as a staff inservice. “Dr. Jack Newman’s Visual Guide to Breastfeeding” It’s for the nurses and the staff. I have had the great opportunity to hear him speak twice. I feel very fortunate indeed. I love his comment.. “hindmilk–schmindmilk”. I recently learned that the speed in which milk is removed from the breast affects the fat content more than the duration of time into the feed. Makes sense.
@Hillary I ALSO have had the opportunity to hear Diane Weissinger speak, I believe at the ILCA conference in 2006?..not sure..some of these are a blur to me now. Anyway..I so TOTALLY agree with some LC’s sometimes causing more problems then helping them..too many gadgets sometimes, or too many “rules”.
I agree that the birth itself is so often the culprit leading to further issues with maternal recovery and breastfeeding difficulties.
I learned a great thing at a conference lately.. courtesy of Lois Arnold, PhD, MPH, IBCLC, CLC …..
Her comment was if things are not going well with breastfeeding in the beginning, do something to “reset” like on the computer..pressing “control-alt-delete” … ie: go back to baby in tub with mom or skin to skin etc…
As always Melodie, I have enjoyed a good read! Thanks!
@STorkStories- Yes! about the resetting. Diane was talking about how when animal breeders or zoologists have a mother who has rejected her baby (usually due to birthing interference) they smother it in birth gunk (sorry!) and stick it back between her legs for her to “find” again and clean. There was something about if a mother in the wild does not clean her own child it is very likely she will not continue caring for it.
Moral of the story….don’t mess with biology! Things happen for a reason
I just read that article in Mothering magazine and quite enjoyed it! I know that some of the first nations people living up north often have that approach to nursing….I wonder if its also due to the scarcity of food in cold areas? Anyways on Jack Newman…he is very knowledgeable on breastfeeding…I know of cases where no one can get a baby latched on he can! But I do also know that he is not very mother to mother approach the way La Leche League is. He can be very demeaning to mothers who have had a lot of difficulty BF saying that they did not do enough….I know many mothers who have said that the treatment they got the first time around breastfeeding difficulties usually dictated how they did it the second time around. Therefore a lot of mothers who felt like crap because ‘they did not try hard enough’ usually just didn’t bother breastfeeding the second time around. Jack Newman is a great resource and an asset to mothers and his clinic should stay open…he just might need to learn a bit more social skills
@Hillary – What an interesting angle! I look forward to reading the link later on tonight. I too think I might try the boob waving technique with my two year old. I’m so tired and frustrated with her not getting it otherwise.Two year olds just aren’t all that smart when it comes to processing language I think.
@Organic Sister – I agree with Hillary’s comment. I think breast milk is a bit differnet from offering food as a reward/distraction technique. Maybe not, but in my opinion, it is more like offering a comfort measure than food.
@Melissa – I love that you as an LC are so open! It’s whjat makes you so great, I think.
@Karen – Yes, he is quite supportive. @Melissa – I think he just smirked at the breast flapping thing.
agreed with christy – La Leche League *is* mother-to-mother support for breastfeeding. leaders are mothers themselves, and they facilitate mothers helping other mothers during the meetings. LLL was created 50 years ago in a culture that had almost entirely suppressed breastfeeding, and has continued to make a safe space for mothers to support mothers in this journey. no, of course LLL would not be necessary if all your sisters and aunts and friends breastfed, and your mom and grandmas breastfed. mother-to-mother support for breastfeeding would be in the air you breathe!
LCs and Jack Newman do a lot of catch-up fixing problems caused by birth practices, cultures pressures on breastfeeding management (don’t let baby use you as a pacifier, etc.), and i even think correcting for the terrible amount of environmental pollution we have that affects fetal development as i blogged about here: http://sufficiencyblog.wordpre.....cond-look/ Some LCs do go overboard with the technical fixes… I think when you see a lot of nails sticking up you get in the habit of hammering them down. I saw Jack Newman talk in April in the US and I asked him afterwards about his frequent prescriptions of domperidone – legal in Canada, but more shady here in the US. From the dozens of stories I’ve heard he seems to rx dom first and ask questions later
His answer was simply that he is trying to compensate for things that have already gone wrong, and that his intervention is necessary to counteract the previous interventions. I also appreciate that dom acts on rule #2 of improving breastfeeding, which is protect the supply. (Rule #1 is feed the baby.) Once you have a healthy baby and a healthy milk supply, it’s a lot easier to get the two connected, than trying to induce a baby to stay interested in a low supply.
sorry my comment didn’t have anything to do with Mongolia
but thank you for sharing the story!
@Rosemary – I also agree with @Christy. Other than his sometimes poor social skills, I wonder if the fact that he is a man who isn’t always so patient with his patients, also makes a difference. I am a firm believer in a gentle approach towards new breastfeeding moms. Give them the education and support, but give them respect too.
I also haven’t seen Jack Newman speak and as I am not a LC I can’t really respond to the med Rx thing. But as a mental health professional who has worked with many a doctor, I would guess, no matter how good you are or how passionate you are, once a doctor, always a doctor… Meds usually come first. Too bad he wasn’t a holistic practitioner of sorts as well. I wonder what that would do to his reputation though. Better it or worsen it? Hm.
I have had that copy of Mothering on my coffee table for weeks and haven’t gotten around to reading it. Clearly I need to, and quickly.
I think that if we had a true breastfeeding culture we wouldn’t need groups like La Leche League. If everyone could count on getting good information from their family, the medical establishment, and so forth we wouldn’t need breastfeeding support groups. Until that day, though, I’m glad we have people and organizations working to support breastfeeding in our culture.
Well said Amber. I concur!
Love this post — so informative!!
This is a fantastic and thought provoking article. The differences in culture need not be labelled as “funny” as people in other cultures (here Mangolia) are happily living with their diffrent mores.
I may share that in rural India and even in cities in some families breastfeeding of older children is not seen as something alarming. Actually nursing mothers are respected by society generally. Women here too frequently lift their children (who are still nursing) into their laps and offer a boob if they fear that they are hurt or seriously upset. It is considered a natural reaction that conveys “caring motherhood”. Similarly, in the presence of other women, mothers don’t feel shy to bare their breasts or feed children
@Mrs. Uzra Hashmi – I didn’t mean the differences in culture are funny. The author’s style of writing was funny and the vivid visual scenes she was able to create was funny. I don’t know if you read the article or not but she wrote it in a way that revealed that the people in the article she referred to were having a good time and having fun with their breastfeeding style.
Anyhow, I just wanted to clear that up – that I certainly wasn’t laughing at Mongolian culture. I think it is pretty wonderful that breastfeeding women in India and Mongolia breastfeed so openly and that it is so accepted. I wish our North American culture would lean a little more in the way of your direction. Thank you for your comment!
I loved that Mongolian article, and I love that you wrote about it. It was a fun read and made me laugh out loud so many times.
Like always, though, I had to walk away from it feeling very sad for my American culture that is so far removed from this one.
I feel this deep longing in my heart to be a part of a culture where our natural motherly instincts are honored and supported.
Like the part where she’s breastfeeding in the taxi cab and the driver gives her the “thumbs up.” Wouldn’t that be awesome if everyone would get over themselves and their dumb opinions and give the “thumbs up” to breastfeeding????
Always an advocate,
Sally
[...] education, they usually are not discriminated against for their God-given right to breastfeed. Take Mongolia for [...]