Welcome to September’s Carnival of Breastfeeding! This month the theme is “Breastfeeding and Work.” Be sure to check out the posts from our other Carnival participants linked at the end of this one.
I have been nursing my children at work for the past four years, from the time they wake up until it’s time for dinner. My first daughter was nursed at my work from the time she was 12 months to 3 years, and my second daughter has been nursed at my work since she was 2 months old. Okay, okay, I work at home, and I don’t have to worry about any co-workers, but I do have clients who are here from 8:00 to 5:00 five days a week. Yes, they range in age from 12 months to 6 years, but I like to think that exposure to breastfeeding at an early age is having a healthy impact on their upbringing.
I have a “Breastfeeding Friendly. Anytime. Anywhere.” sticker at my front door to show my daycare parents that I am pro-breastfeeding. I also have it in my policies that if they want to come by during the day to breastfeed their child they are welcome to do so. I will also happily give their child their expressed breast milk, although no one has requested this yet. I want them to not only feel comfortable nursing their child in my home but also to realize that I nurse my child. In case they don’t see me nurse, I make a point to mention that I am still nursing. Usually it comes up when I talk to them about nap times, since I still nurse my toddler to sleep. I want them to know that their child gets put down first, in fact I usually make other people’s children’s naps a priority over my own because I know I can nurse my daughter to sleep in a chair if I need to and then snuggle her on my lap for an hour or so while the other kids play. Usually it works out that everyone naps around the same time and I can leave my daughter in her bed after she’s fallen asleep.
What I like most about being able to nurse at my job other than the obvious being able to nurse on demand regardless of the fact I am doing paid work, is normalizing breastfeeding around children who otherwise might not be exposed to it, and some adults too!
It is rare for a child to ask about it though. I think I have only been asked one question about breastfeeding, and it was by a child who had already been coming to my house several times a week for a year or so. It was almost as though he just suddenly noticed that something strange was going on, even though he’d been around it dozens of times before.
“What are you doing?” he asked one day.
“I’m breastfeeding.”
“Oh,” he said, and went back to playing.
When you see something all the time, it’s normal. When the person doing the breastfeeding acts and talks about it as though it is normal, it makes it so. Young children are sponges for learning, and at my house they learn that it is normal for a baby or toddler to breastfeed.
Sometimes though, I think it’s hard on some children who might have just weaned or who just wish their mommy was there to nurse them. I remember a few years back how I would scoop up my one year old daughter to breastfeed her and this one little boy would look up at us with such longing I wouldn’t have been surprised if he made a play for my boob. He never did though. Sometimes if they are looking especially sad I will pick them up and snuggle them next to me. It usually helps.
I tend to attract like-minded parents. Sometimes when they come to pick up their little one at the end of the day we sit down together to chat and nurse. As soon as one child sees the other nursing and both moms are present, game over! And if a parent isn’t nursing or didn’t nurse, they have always been respectful of my choice to do so and have never questioned it happening around their kids.
Sometimes being constantly lept on and listening to a toddler’s demand to nurse when I am actually trying to do my job can drive me a bit batty. When my daughter sees me reading a book it’s her signal to breastfeed. Actually, anytime I sit down she thinks that means she can breastfeed, so there have been a few instances of very interesting circle times. (“When you’re happy and you know it [unlatch and] shout hooray!”) It is harder to draw nursing boundaries for a child who has always had her mommy available and continues to do so. Nothing is ever perfect, but it certainly makes my life easier in many ways to have a job that affords me the luxury to breastfeed my child. Anytime Anywhere.
The Milk Mama A Job Where Everyone Breastfeeds
Momnesia The Book Sorry, Facilities Guy
The Marshins Taking Your Working Boobs To Work
Stork Stories…Birth & Breastfeeding My Breast Pump and I Didn’t Get Along
Breastfeeding Moms Unite! Ask An LC: What About Pumping (By Melissa of Stork Stories)
babyREADY What About Breastfeeding When I Go Back?
The Marketing Mama Working and Pumping
Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog Breastfeeding and working is possible, and you can make it work
Chronicles of a Nursing Mother Do you really need a pump?
Vanderbilt Wife I Think This Offically Makes Me a Mommy Blogger
Breastfeeding 1-2-3 Tips For Breastfeeding and Working
Breastfeeding Mums Breastfeeding and Working in the UK
Blacktating The 5 biggest mistakes working and pumping moms make
Mom Unplugged This is a breastfeeding office
Best For Babes Beating the Employment Booby Trap
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You mention: “And if a parent isn’t nursing or didn’t nurse, they have always been respectful of my choice to do so and have never questioned it happening around their kids.”
Just honestly curious, not wanting to start anything, but I was wondering if the same is true the other way around? Are you respectful of other parents’ choices if their choice is to not breastfeed?
I nursed my oldest until she was 33 months and my youngest until she was 12 months. The day care center they went to was breastfeeding friendly. Except for one thing I noticed that I thought was funny. My oldest daughter when she was about 2 years old would take her baby doll and put it to her breast instead of holding a bottle. She then say afterwards “that’s pitiful.” I deduced that her day care teachers were telling her that it was pitiful for her to be still nursing or to be modeling nursing. I thought it was very funny because I was very comfortable with how long I breastfed her, although I am keenly aware that some were not.
Brooke´s last blog ..Tough Love for Ladies! Let’s Empower Ourselves
@JackieYo – Absolutely! I keep my lactivist and professional self quite separate. I’ve fed a baby formula in a bottle, and I’ve had many moms tell me they couldn’t breastfeed or only breastfed a few weeks (when they have learned that I breastfeed). I have never said one negative word to any parent about their decision not to breastfeed. It’s important to me to have a good working relationship with my daycare parents because it is important for their child to know that the important adults in his/her life get along. I would never jeopardize my relationship with parents to try to prove a point or “educate” them about breastfeeding or make them feel inferior or patronized in any way. It’s just not worth it. However, if I am interviewing a family prior to accepting them and they were to have a problem with my breastfeeding, it wouldn’t be a good match and I would let them know that it wouldn’t work out. However, they’d probably realize that for themselves anyway.
@Brooke – Yes, it is rather funny how kids pick things up. Knowing that this happens should keep a daycare provider “in line” I would think. That’s unfortunate that they are letting their judgements get the best of them. My kids pick up mannerisms and expressions from my daycare children and their parents tell me their kids say certain things that I know they’ve picked up from here. But so far so good though.
[...] Breastfeeding Mothers Unite: Breastfeeding At My Family Daycare [...]
You know what? I need to recind some of that comment I just made. I don’t want people reading it to think I’m two-faced – that I might be all nice and polite at my job but behind parent’s backs I’m a judgemental cow, because that’s NOT the way I roll, and I made a poor choice of words there. I can’t separate being a lactivist from my job, but the kind of lactivist I am is one who leads by example and who is there to answer questions or provide support when it is needed and asked for. It’s not my job EVER to push my values onto someone else. The only time that might happen is when someone gets my back-up and directly criticizes me or criticizes a woman’s right or breastfeed. I treat others the way I would like to be treated and it usually works out fine. So my apologies for the above poorly thought out response.
[...] Breastfeeding At My Family Daycare by Breastfeeding Moms Unite! A Job Where Everyone Breastfeeds by The Milk Mama Sorry, Facilities Guy by Momnesia the Book Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)New drawing (6/25)kayaks adapted to test marine robotics [...]
I LOVE your daycare!! I think you do very important work! I agree that the early exposure to breastfeeding is an important way to normalize bfing especially around some who may not be exposed to it…. EVEN if they themselves were BF. Perhaps it isn’t talked about in their home any more and there are no younger siblings bfing. I didn’t feel your comments sounded “off” at all where it could be misinterpreted. I am like-minded, so maybe that’s why.
I feel that regardless of whatever your client’s feeding choices, to have your breastfeeding friendly policies well understood is sound business and purely fabulous!!
StorkStories´s last blog ..My Breast Pump and I didn’t get Along
[...] Breastfeeding Moms Unite!: Breastfeeding At My Family Daycare [...]
It’s so wonderful you’re able to do that. And it really is a lesson for other kids if it’s not something they’ve experienced! I was over at a friend’s apartment one day and her 4-year-old daughter was just obsessed with watching me nurse. It was hilarious. She really, really wanted to touch my nipple, too, but I think that lesson was a little too much! I let her mom explain what was going on! (She had been nursed, but not to the point she would remember it and had no younger siblings.)
Vanderbilt Wife´s last blog ..Eleven Months
Very nice. I also watch children while I am home with my own nurslings, although not an official daycare like you.
Naomi´s last blog ..Swing into My Kiss
[...] Breastfeeding At My Family Daycare by Melodie at “Breastfeeding Moms Unite” [...]
I think it’s so fabulous that you are able to set such a pro-breastfeeding atmosphere in your home and in your daycare. I really agree – you are normalizing breastfeeding for all this kids. Well done!
Amber´s last blog ..Working and Breastfeeding a Toddler
Great post – you know, I take my children to an in-home daycare and it made such a big difference that our provider also breastfed her children. I interviewed many people and centers and most of them were VERY uncomfortable using expressed breastmilk. One woman talked about fears of catching diseases (I pointed her to the CDCs documents on breastmilk and safety). And the one corporate center I considered required the workers to wear gloves while preparing AND feeding the babies. HELL NO – no person would wear rubber gloves while feeding my babies. No, no no.
So anyhow, I pumped until both my babes were 12 months or so and many times I nursed at the daycare when dropping off or picking up. I’m sure your support of breastfeeding has made a difference in the lives of the families you serve.
Missy
Missy @ The Marketing Mama´s last blog ..Let me introduce you to…
Great post. Loved the story about circle time. When you’re happy and you know it – UNLATCH – shout hooray! That’s classic.
Adrienne Hedger´s last blog ..Sorry, Facilities Guy
Great post. Loved the story about circle time. When you’re happy and you know it – UNLATCH – shout hooray! That’s classic.
Adrienne Hedger´s last blog ..Sorry, Facilities Guy
Oops…forgot to say great post! Looking forward to your next one.
[...] Strocel.com: Working and Breastfeeding a Toddler ~ Breastfeeding Moms Unite!: Breastfeeding at My Family Daycare ~ The Milk Mama: A Job Where Everyone Breastfeeds ~ Momnesia the Book: Sorry, Facilities Guy ~ [...]
”When you’re happy and you know it [unlatch and] shout hooray!”
I could not stop laughing. I’m still humming…
It’s great that you’re so supportive and I agree that seeing breastfeeding as normal comes from seeing breastfeeding normally. I was lucky to have a very supportive daycare when my oldest was a baby. They not only fed expressed breast milk, they would call me if she got hungry near the end of the day, knowing I’d rather nurse her, if I could manage to leave early.
I only had one incident that could have been better: Once I nursed her outside on a rocking chair and was told I’d have to cover up b/c the older kids (outside playing) might see and their “teacher” wasn’t comfortable answering their questions. Very sad b/c it could have been easily answered (she’s feeding her baby) and helped normalize breastfeeding for the kids who noticed.
Karen´s last blog ..Hospital Birth – my transition
Love this post!
I nannied for a family a few years back and brought my first son with me to work. It was great to get paid to take care of my child (and others). I was open about my breastfeeding and I felt great modeling for the other kids.
Best part of the story. Next baby the mom nursed for a full year! (I was still in the home nursing) I can help but think I helped normalize it for her. (She only nursed her first for a few months.)
It was also a great lesson for me to respect other’s parenting choices.
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@Vanderbilt Wife – My two year old is very interested in wanting to touch the breast of one of the moms who comes here to nurse her now two year old too. She’s only done it once and thankfully the mom was okay about it – my daughter just loves her and they have a sweet little friendship. She always goes very close and says “He’s nursing!” and peers in at him.
@Missy – Yikes! Well I guess we can’t all know about the safety of breast milk. Good thing you taught her. Does she wear rubber gloves to change bums too? I guess some people just have a higher yuck factor. That’s too bad, really. I would never be okay with a caregiver wearing gloves while they fed my baby either. That’s just wrong on so many levels!
@Karen – That is wonderful you had such a supportive daycare. You must have felt very lucky to find them. Too bad about that one incident though. If they asked and she was worried about what their parents might think if she answered them she could have said ” you’ll have to ask your parents.” I mean it’s the same as answering any kind of question you aren’t comfortable with or aren’t sure about how the parents want handled. You re-direct it back to the parents! Argh!
@Hillary – I love that you ended up (possibly) positively influencing your employer to nurse longer. That’s a wonderful story!
i love it! we have a similar daycare here — arugaan (nurturing) — where only breastmilk, organic food is served and wet nursing is provided if necessary.
Jenny´s last blog ..How Breastfeeding Moms can Help Ondoy’s Victims