Comments on: How To Prevent Your Child From Growing Up Too Fast http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/2009/09/how-to-prevent-your-child-from-growing-up-too-fast/ Think. Act. Breastfeed. Thu, 09 Sep 2010 12:58:34 -0600 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Mindfully Loving My Children | Breastfeeding Moms Unite http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/2009/09/how-to-prevent-your-child-from-growing-up-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-3500 Mindfully Loving My Children | Breastfeeding Moms Unite Tue, 12 Jan 2010 06:26:36 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/?p=2141#comment-3500 [...] this is how I best receive love, but it isn’t something I always feel comfortable with given the issues surrounding gift giving: materialism, commercialism, greed and over-abundance. Finally, if your child’s love language [...] [...] this is how I best receive love, but it isn’t something I always feel comfortable with given the issues surrounding gift giving: materialism, commercialism, greed and over-abundance. Finally, if your child’s love language [...]

]]> By: I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas | Breastfeeding Moms Unite http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/2009/09/how-to-prevent-your-child-from-growing-up-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-3332 I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas | Breastfeeding Moms Unite Fri, 18 Dec 2009 17:33:23 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/?p=2141#comment-3332 [...] an eco-friendly White Christmas. I’m not a fan of the plastic consumerism at Christmastime (or any other time) but I am a fan of gift giving and receiving. So how do I marry the two? I give homemade and gently [...] [...] an eco-friendly White Christmas. I’m not a fan of the plastic consumerism at Christmastime (or any other time) but I am a fan of gift giving and receiving. So how do I marry the two? I give homemade and gently [...]

]]> By: Our Semi-Green Birthday Party | Breastfeeding Moms Unite http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/2009/09/how-to-prevent-your-child-from-growing-up-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-2442 Our Semi-Green Birthday Party | Breastfeeding Moms Unite Tue, 29 Sep 2009 17:25:49 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/?p=2141#comment-2442 [...] party a couple weekends ago. We were going for “green” but traditional, definitely not “commercial,” and of course, lots of fun. This is how it went as far as meeting some green and ethical [...] [...] party a couple weekends ago. We were going for “green” but traditional, definitely not “commercial,” and of course, lots of fun. This is how it went as far as meeting some green and ethical [...]

]]> By: Melissa http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/2009/09/how-to-prevent-your-child-from-growing-up-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-2253 Melissa Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:09:24 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/?p=2141#comment-2253 It's crazy to me that people disagree with you here! I can see the argument that you don't want to make things more enticing by making them mysteriously unreachable, but I really think that you are not leaving it up to your child to choose if you take the hands off approach--you are leaving it up to some really sophisticated marketing to decided what your child likes, dislikes, or plays with! If we don't put boundaries around what they are exposed to and what they play with, I would argue that we are leaving our kids open to assimilating the values that are sold along with the toys, which values are often not ones I'm excited about. But I guess teaching kids critical thinking skills pretty early and leaving the lines of communication open are fundamental in BOTH philosophies, and will help kids navigate the world of consumer stuff and the plethora of inappropriate or unhealthy values in the world! When I was a kid my parents were quite strict about commercial toys, and while it DID make them seem pretty enticing to me, I was able to think critically in my evaluations of commercialism and the toys pretty early on, and to value hand crafted toys and my own opinion and my own individualism at an early age. Not that my experience would necessarily carry over to every kid, nor am I quite as restricting with my sons' toys. I have to say also that your child's personality comes into play: I'm quite sure my oldest son would have responded well to TheOrganicSister's method of no restrictions but lots of discussion surrounding values and critical thinking and responsible choice making. But I'm also quite sure my middle son would not respond well to that style of parenting. So maybe rather than a didactic style of parenting we should embrace an attachment based focus on following your child's tendencies and personality and responding based upon your individual child's needs. Thanks for bringing this topic up--it sure has made me rethink it!! It’s crazy to me that people disagree with you here! I can see the argument that you don’t want to make things more enticing by making them mysteriously unreachable, but I really think that you are not leaving it up to your child to choose if you take the hands off approach–you are leaving it up to some really sophisticated marketing to decided what your child likes, dislikes, or plays with! If we don’t put boundaries around what they are exposed to and what they play with, I would argue that we are leaving our kids open to assimilating the values that are sold along with the toys, which values are often not ones I’m excited about.
But I guess teaching kids critical thinking skills pretty early and leaving the lines of communication open are fundamental in BOTH philosophies, and will help kids navigate the world of consumer stuff and the plethora of inappropriate or unhealthy values in the world!
When I was a kid my parents were quite strict about commercial toys, and while it DID make them seem pretty enticing to me, I was able to think critically in my evaluations of commercialism and the toys pretty early on, and to value hand crafted toys and my own opinion and my own individualism at an early age. Not that my experience would necessarily carry over to every kid, nor am I quite as restricting with my sons’ toys. I have to say also that your child’s personality comes into play: I’m quite sure my oldest son would have responded well to TheOrganicSister’s method of no restrictions but lots of discussion surrounding values and critical thinking and responsible choice making. But I’m also quite sure my middle son would not respond well to that style of parenting. So maybe rather than a didactic style of parenting we should embrace an attachment based focus on following your child’s tendencies and personality and responding based upon your individual child’s needs.

Thanks for bringing this topic up–it sure has made me rethink it!!

]]> By: Andrea http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/2009/09/how-to-prevent-your-child-from-growing-up-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-2225 Andrea Wed, 09 Sep 2009 01:17:12 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/?p=2141#comment-2225 Great article! It has certainly brought-up a few different points of view! Our 7-year old got fascinated with the local $2-shop when he was 5 years old, full of cheap, plastic toys with horrible carbon footprints. A dilemma for us -- we didn't want to make these toys mysterious and cool by denying our son the chance of experiencing them, but we equally didn't want him to get hooked on them. So we let him know it "wasn't our thing" and explained why, but allowed him to buy one and shared the opening and examination process. Lucky (for us!) it broke within a couple of days so as a family we coined the term 'junky'. We've found as he's got older, he has extended this and made the 'junky' call on many commercial toys and inappropriate computer games he sees around the place. Likewise, we have learnt to consider his opinion when he says "this one's not junky" and explains why. Thanks, Melodie for making us all think about what we do! I love the idea of birthday present donations - I'm personally not very forthcoming about advising parents what to buy my child so giving this as an alternative option (as a request from my son) would be great. Husband and I could put in place some sort of matching process for our son. Nice way for the family to cause a yearly donation! Thanks for the idea. Great article! It has certainly brought-up a few different points of view! Our 7-year old got fascinated with the local $2-shop when he was 5 years old, full of cheap, plastic toys with horrible carbon footprints. A dilemma for us — we didn’t want to make these toys mysterious and cool by denying our son the chance of experiencing them, but we equally didn’t want him to get hooked on them. So we let him know it “wasn’t our thing” and explained why, but allowed him to buy one and shared the opening and examination process. Lucky (for us!) it broke within a couple of days so as a family we coined the term ‘junky’. We’ve found as he’s got older, he has extended this and made the ‘junky’ call on many commercial toys and inappropriate computer games he sees around the place. Likewise, we have learnt to consider his opinion when he says “this one’s not junky” and explains why.

Thanks, Melodie for making us all think about what we do! I love the idea of birthday present donations – I’m personally not very forthcoming about advising parents what to buy my child so giving this as an alternative option (as a request from my son) would be great. Husband and I could put in place some sort of matching process for our son. Nice way for the family to cause a yearly donation! Thanks for the idea.

]]> By: Sarah Cassill http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/2009/09/how-to-prevent-your-child-from-growing-up-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-2223 Sarah Cassill Tue, 08 Sep 2009 23:49:24 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/?p=2141#comment-2223 I haven't quite decided how I feel about all this, but Isaac's only 19 months. We do NOT watch TV at home, which means when he IS somewhere with a TV on he's facsinated (a bonus in a waiting room, a minus when his older cousins are watching something icky) Another GREAT book along these general lines is "Bringing Up Geeks: How to Protect Your Kid's Childhood in a Grow-Up-Too-Fast World" by Marybeth Hicks I haven’t quite decided how I feel about all this, but Isaac’s only 19 months.

We do NOT watch TV at home, which means when he IS somewhere with a TV on he’s facsinated (a bonus in a waiting room, a minus when his older cousins are watching something icky)

Another GREAT book along these general lines is “Bringing Up Geeks: How to Protect Your Kid’s Childhood in a Grow-Up-Too-Fast World” by Marybeth Hicks

]]> By: Shelly http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/2009/09/how-to-prevent-your-child-from-growing-up-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-2222 Shelly Tue, 08 Sep 2009 23:03:07 +0000 http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/?p=2141#comment-2222 Very nice and controversial post. Ds is still young enough that this hasn't come up much. We are approaching a birthday though and would really like to see very few gifts, but I can not figure out how to get this across to family. The only things he truly enjoys are books and running around outside, but they don't believe us when we tell them he doesn't play with standard toys. Give him a big spoon and pitcher and he'll play at the sink for hours. Give him a boat that goes on its own and he's done in seconds. Any suggestions to make others understand? Very nice and controversial post. Ds is still young enough that this hasn’t come up much. We are approaching a birthday though and would really like to see very few gifts, but I can not figure out how to get this across to family. The only things he truly enjoys are books and running around outside, but they don’t believe us when we tell them he doesn’t play with standard toys. Give him a big spoon and pitcher and he’ll play at the sink for hours. Give him a boat that goes on its own and he’s done in seconds. Any suggestions to make others understand?

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