Anyway. My doctors have been very good about letting me take my normal meds. My problem is alcohol. I hate it that there are no good resources about alcohol. Everyone just says across the board, don’t do it. Well, I can’t have my normal xanax, and I’m not allowed to stress either. So WTF? In the end, during my first pregnancy, and now during this one too, I self prescribe one glass of wine or beer each week. And I lie. No, I don’t drink during pregnancy. That’s bad. But you know, xanax is worse. And my personal opinion is that at least alcohol is natural. I don’t touch the hard stuff, and people have been drinking forever. I really wish I had more scientific data to base my decision on. First pregnancy, I didn’t have a drop until after the first trimester. This pregnancy, my doctor wanted to see how it went if I got off the cymbalta completely. But I was miserable, and so was my family. But it does suck that we can’t just get real information and real answers. It’s like because we are pregnant and/or nursing, we don’t matter anymore. And yes, the developing baby is more important than mom. But if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
Danielle Miller´s last blog ..What Have I Been Up To?

I suffered from crippling depression for months, probably not helped by just having given birth. For three months I struggled on, medication free, because I wanted to breastfeed my new baby for as long as I had breastfed my older daughter. Finally it was clear I needed medical help, and I was diagnosed as severely depressed. I was put on anti-depressants, and I was told I had to wean my baby. I weaned her, but have always regretted it. However, I try not to knock myself out over it, because I was in an extremely difficult position at the time, and it is difficult to see a clear path when everything in your life is going to hell and a handbasket. Interestingly, my youngest daughter had a boob fetish for years afterwards… she would “root” whenever I would cuddle her up until she was about 15 months old, and for years afterwards would stroke my breasts when I was cuddling her. She even still occasionally does it, and she’s six now! I’ve always wondered if it was because she was weaned early.

PPD, the medications used to treat it, and viable options when you are breastfeeding are subjects that need to be discussed openly. Mental disorders have such a stigma attached to them in our society, and I am so happy you have come out an been so open about your experiences. The stigma can only be removed if people like you step up and openly tell your stories.

PS: You might be wondering what happened to my career; I sued my employer and the case was ultimately settled. I’m not permitted to state the amount of the settlement because of a gag order associated with it. In other (completely unrelated) news however, our mortgage is paid off and we have a nice retirement fund in the bank. As another (completely unrelated) comment, I can also say that justice is sometimes served. I did lose my career as a physicist over the whole mess, but I now have another career as an epidemiologist, and it rocks, so I’m pretty happy.