Welcome to the December Carnival of Breastfeeding. After reading my post make sure to check out the other participants’ posts linked to at the bottom of this one.
My first daughter was three months old when she had her first Christmas. She was already a little person who was easily overstimulated, cried lots and needed to be close to her mommy at all times. Needless to say, on her first Christmas we breastfed a lot!
I read back on her first Christmas experiences in her baby book to bring that day back to life. Here’s how the day went:
Everyone came to our house to celebrate. With a new baby and all, it only made perfect sense that we shouldn’t have to travel. All in all there were eight of us. Not too bad, but about six more than my daughter could handle.
Luckily, even though I was officially the host, no one thought I should cook. My mom, step-mom and sister-in-law did all the Christmas Eve and Christmas Day cooking, which left me to tend to my daughter.
Her favorite things about Christmas were the lights on the tree. I lay her underneath the tree on her blanket so she could look up into the branches just like I used to as a child. She stared at whichever ornament was closest to her and batted her little arms around in excitement when I swung it around. She reminded me of a partially paralyzed cat, stalking her prey with her eyes but being unable to pounce.
My dad is a boisterous person. He loves to play and be silly. I certainly get my wacky side from him, but early on realized I needed to tone it waaaay down around my daughter. We played Cranium Christmas Eve night and no one could guess the Pictionary drawing my dad was trying to do. As the timer ran out, in frustration he poured a whole glass of water over his head. We still didn’t get it. “Shower! He was taking a shower!” he shouted, standing up and roaring with laughter. We all laughed back, scolding and shouting for a towel. The baby of course had no idea what was happening and burst into tears. To soothe her? We breastfed.
Her favorite gift was a froggie toy. It was soft, eye catching and didn’t make any sudden moves. Her least favorite gift was a life jacket. Probably because we put it on her and it was four times too big. Of course, we all laughed, which didn’t help but hurt her baby feelings. Now at age five she loves it because she loves going boating with her daddy, but back then it was just another scary, confusing event.
After Christmas dinner at end of Christmas Day everyone left, and she threw up. A lot. It’s not like I was feeding her any of my rock star Vegan Pumpkin Pie or anything. I think it was a delayed reaction to all the stress. That maybe coupled with the fact that she needed to nurse so often during the two-day family visit her tummy had more milk in it than it could hold.
I birthed a high needs baby. If you have one or end up celebrating Christmas with one, here are a few tips:
- Breastfeed often.
- Do your shopping when baby is asleep. As soon as mine noticed we were in a crowded place she zonked off anyway.
- Have someone else host dinner. You don’t need to be running around tending to the stove and guests when your baby needs you.
- Respect your baby’s cues. If your baby is unhappy being passed around, don’t pass him or her around.
- As much as possible, breastfeed away from the group. Your baby will benefit from the stillness and quiet. He or she just may fall asleep too, thus giving you more time to socialize.
- Wear your baby. Your baby needs to stay close to you, feel you, smell you and be comforted by you. By wearing your baby you can also keep your arms free to open gifts or pass the butter.
- Go for a walk. Bundle your baby warmly and ask for company. Fresh air calms and refreshes everyone.
- Enjoy the day. Your baby can pick up on maternal stress so keeping mom happy will help keep baby happy.
Check out these posts by the other carnival participants:
Taking care of yourself and your baby during the holidays at the Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog
Looking after yourself during the holidays: 7 tips for the breastfeeding mom at Breastfeeding Mums
How to take care of ourselves during the holidays at Happy Bambino
Breastfeeding and holidays at The adventures of Lactating Girl
The holidays and being a breastfeeding mom at Mommy News and Views
Breastfeeding and the holidays: How to take care of yourself at Hobo Mama
Motherhood statement at Accidental Pharmicist
Breastfeeding and dehydration at Breastfeeding 1-2-3
Don’t forget to pump at Chronicles of a Nursing Mother
A breastfeeding holiday poem at Mama Knows Breast
Mother’s Christmas at Cave Mother
Breastfeeding Advice For The Holidays at Blacktating
Related posts:
Wow, I could have almost written this myself, about Peeper’s first Christmas, when she was two months old (one month, adjusted).
She mostly slept through the events here in town with my inlaws, but then we took a ten-day trip to Texas to visit my family.
In that time, there were two three-hour flights – each with two-hour drives on either side, the gift-opening extravaganza, Christmas dinner, New Years dinner and a baby shower for her!
My mom has commented since that she was the only two-month-old she’d ever met who had separation / stranger anxiety.
She cried pretty much anytime anyone who wasn’t one of her moms held her, and she knew that giving me “I need to nurse” cues was her do-not-pass-go card right back to Mama!
This was also the time that she was starting several weeks of nightly (or afternoonly) inconsolable crying episodes.
It was just lovely, let me tell ya.
But, I totally agree with all your tips. Nursing often helped a lot as did wearing her.
(Except the time I was wearing her while helping my mom prepare dinner, and only realized after she burst into tears that cutting onions right below the baby’s nose and eyes is not a good idea!)
It also helped that my family was understanding, and that they are the type to hand a crying baby back to Mama without having their feelings hurt.
Whozat´s last blog ..Baby Signs!
I have a slightly different twist on this theme. We adopted my second son Matthew a few days before Christmas, 2005. We arrived home on an airplane from Thailand on the 24th, jetlagged and shellshocked and wondering if we had just made the most colossal mistake of our lives.
Matthew was just starting to get the picture that his previous home, nanny, and kids he lived with in the orphanage were NOT coming back, and that these weird white people had ‘stolen’ him away from them. He was 16 months old. Too young to explain things to, and too old to transition quickly with the simple meeting of nutrition and touch needs.
Whenever I picked him up, he would turn into this stiff, wooden doll. Whenever anyone else picked him up he went limp and stared into the distance, a mixture of exhausted, confused, grieving, and terrified. He pretty much cried all of Christmas, though we did distract him with the gift opening. He really liked the paper, so we kept the wrapping paper out all day, instead of whisking it off to be recycled early on like we usually do.
I was mystified. How do you comfort a child who doesn’t want you to touch them? All I knew was breastfeeding and cosleeping and babywearing. What else can you do?
Wrapping paper. Lots and lots of wrapping paper.
I sure felt like a failure, being upstaged by wrapping paper. But looking back I wish I had just relaxed and gone with the flow, and allowed him to grieve when and how he needed to grieve. He cried a lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. Oh, the screaming. Oh. My. God. And he would sometimes tantrum and hold his breath, and hold it, and hold it, and hold it, until he passed out. When we first brought him home he would do this up to nine times a day. Now, at 5 years old, he will do it maybe once every four or five months? I think the last time was in September. His biological brother did this too [it runs in families, and is a medical condition] until he was about five years old, so I expect it will disappear completely soon.
That first Christmas I don’t remember how many times he fainted, but several. We tried to keep the outings and family gatherings and visitors down to a minimum, because he was VERY easily overwhelmed, but even two hours at great grandma’s turned him into a wooden doll that screamed. So we left.
And then we all fell into bed, exhausted, and he slept for three hours and the woke up!! Because his internal clock said “Now it is daytime!! Time to play, and eat, and climb, and push buttons and empty shelves!!” So I laid on his bedroom floor and let him crawl over me and pull all the books off the shelf and drink his bottle and make a mess of the toys, and tried oh, so hard to stay awake yet sleep at the same time???!!
I think that would have been a better way to survive that first Christmas with Matthew. Hunker down, lie on the floor at home, and let him explore at his own pace. We managed. We got through the jet lag and the hours of crying and fainting and scratching his own face until it bled, and now he is miraculously happy and healthy and well attached and funny and LOVES CHRISTMAS, with all its bustle and relatives…and he doesn’t really like the wrapping paper anymore, except to see how fast he can rip it all off.
Melissa´s last blog ..Riley update, and advent
I love your tips and totally agree. I’ve always kept my babies close in large gatherings and refused to pass them around to everyone. Wearing a sling helped because people did not ask to take my baby out of the sling. I also ignored the advice to let my baby cry because it’s good for her lungs!
Angela´s last blog ..Breastfeeding and Dehydration
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@Melissa – Wow! You should take that comment and turn it into your own blog post. That’s quite the story! I can’t even come close to imagining what that must have been like. It was heartwrenching just to read it. I take my hat off to you. Over and over again.
naima was born on dec. 5, diagnosed with breastmilk jaundice on dec. 19 — so you can imagine what type of christmas we had that year. i was having baby blues, cried everyday throughout the entire holiday season and generally wasn’t good company. the 2nd christmas was much better and we traveled to my husband’s hometown. i’m definitely looking forward to this christmas (at my hometown) with a very active playful healthy and still nursing toddler
Jenny´s last blog ..Don’t Forget the Pump!
Who hosts the breastfeeding carnival? I would love to linked up with my post I wrote in November: Holiday Weaning http://thevervepath.com/2009/1.....y-weaning/
Is it to late to get involved? And how do I hear about these ahead of time? Thanks!!!
Crystal Gold´s last blog ..The Best for Babes Campaign Codes