Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting advice!
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we’re writing letters to ask our readers for help with a current parenting issue. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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Dear Abby-solutely wonderful readers,
I have two little girls ages, almost 3 and 5, who up until recently have never been interested in princesses or Barbies or playing with any other distorted representations of the female form. They never cared what they wore or how their hair looked. Then suddenly and without warning they are both obsessed with all things frilly, pink and beautiful. My oldest daughter is the ring leader, of course. She cries when her hair doesn’t fall the way she thinks it should. The youngest one only wants to wear dresses (the fancier the better) and lipstick. Neither of them watch (or even want to watch) princess movies, so this isn’t where they are getting these ideas (thank goodness for small blessings), so I am stumped as to the sudden interest in ball gowns and make up.
I grew up being told to constantly suck in my gut. I was on diet shakes and diet pills at age 14 and experimented with bulimia the same year. While I don’t and wouldn’t say these things to my girls, I’m also aware of how outside influences can cause this behaviour. I’ve been motheirng virtual tomboys up to this point and now I feel side swiped with a new and sudden responsibility.
I just want to know how I can protect them and I want to start early. It is also important to me to support their interests and fuel their self-esteem. So how do I do both? How can I support their desire to look beautiful while teaching them that good looks aren’t everything? What do other moms do with their girly girls to avoid “all-things-princess?” Is it even avoidable?
Signed,
Once a mommy of tomboys, now a mommy of princesses
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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be updated by the end of the day April 13 with all the carnival links.)
- Replace hitting with…? — Acacia at Be Present Mama is at a loss on how to handle her three year old’s hitting.
- Two Questions — Alexandra at Breastfeeding Momma would like some ideas on how to strengthen her bond with her 8-month-old daughter; she’s also looking for input on an emotional topic: vaccines.
- Balancing Needs When Baby Trumps Mama — Alison at BluebirdMama wonders how her child’s need for noise and energy balances out against her need for quiet and space. (@childbearing )
- The McDilemma — Annie at PhD in Parenting is on the arches of a McDilemma. (@phdinparenting)
- Where is the mutually agreeable solution? When parenting calls for blood draws — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick has a child who needs regular blood tests that are torment for him. How does a parent honor a child when his health is on the line? (@RaisingBoychick)
- When To Wait To Nurse — Cave Mother wonders what age toddlers can be asked to wait to nurse.
- I don’t love you Mama! — CurlyMonkey wonders what to do with her daughter’s intense feelings. (@curlymonkey_)
- Help a Mama Out — Danielle at Born.in.Japan isn’t getting much sleep with her cosleeping, night nursing, cranky little guy and hopes you can help with some suggestions for shuteye. (@borninjp)
- Dear Abby: My daughter really misses her Daddy — Darcel at The Mahogany Way needs to know how to help her daddy’s girl get the connection with her father she needs — and not feel left out in the process. (@MahoganyWayMama)
- What’s Going on at School? — Deb at Science@home is in a quandary: how can she find out what really goes on at school without stepping on the teacher’s toes? (@ScienceMum)
- April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Advice — Dionna at Code Name: Mama wants to find volunteer work that includes her toddler. (@CodeNameMama)
- How do you deal? — Erin at Beatnik Momma does not want to engage in “mommy wars.” She’d like your input on how (and how much) to discuss her natural parenting choices with curious friends and family who parent differently. (@babybeatnik)
- Dear Abby — The Grumbles at Grumbles and Grunts gave her son a banana…and no solid food since. What’s the next step in baby-led weaning? (@thegrumbles)
- Excuse me, I have a poop question — Jessica at This is Worthwhile has a question for you about toddler tinkling. (@tisworthwhile)
- The Half Empty Nest Syndrome: What to do when Momma gets replaced by a cow? — Joni Rae at Kitchen Witch Momma is suffering from “half-empty nest syndrome”: what do you do when your babies start growing up? (@kitchenwitch)
- Peer Pressure — Kate at Momopoly worries what message her daughter’s new friend is sending — but how to break up such an infatuation? (@Momopoly)
- When I Fall Down — Katherine at Momioso.com needs your wisdom on how to be more gentle and at peace with herself. (@naturalparent)
- A question of sleep and sanity — KeepingMumSane needs your toddler cosleeping advice in order to, well, keep mum sane! (@keepingmumsane)
- April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting advice — Lauren at Hobo Mama needs a chiropractor … or help getting her 36 lb toddler to walk up the stairs. (@Hobo_Mama)
- Driver’s Ed for Mommies — Maman A Droit is a self-confessed terrible driver and is scared to drive with her baby in the car.
- Solo Parenting — Mammapie at Downside Up and Outside In needs tips for being a single working mother while her partner’s away. (@mammapie)
- Itsy Bitsy Biter — Mamapoekie at Authentic Parenting needs your advice about her daughter, otherwise known as the pitbull.
- How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is at a loss ever since her tomboys turned into wannabe princesses. (@bfmom)
- Seeking Stability in Chaos — Michelle at Seeking Mother is in a heart-wrenching position. She needs your input on how to make a toddler feel secure during a time of transition, the illness of a parent, and multiple (new) caregivers. (@Seekingmother)
- Mama, That’s Too, Too Boring! — Michelle at The Parent Vortex started out asking how to encourage her preschooler to get dressed — and four days later, she began to without prompting! (@TheParentVortex)
- Dear Lovey Hart, I am Desperate. — Mommy Soup from Cream of Mommy Soup has several questions for you, from how you play favorites when no one’s your favorite to how to tell off strangers curious about the ample size of your family. (@mommysoup)
- Diaper Duty Dilemma — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries has a simple request: talk to her about cloth! (@babydust)
- What Do You Need My Son — pchanner at A Mom’s Fresh Start wishes her calm four-month-old hadn’t turned into an inquisitive and dramatic six-month-old. How do you handle changes in baby’s personality? (@pchanner)
- Dear Natural Parenting Community — Sarah at OneStarryNight wants to know how to respond to criticism from family and friends over breastfeeding. (@starrymom)
- Natural Parenting Carnival — Help — Sarah at Consider Eden feels like either her to-do list or her parenting is suffering, because she can’t do both! (@considereden)
- To potty learn or not to potty learn — that is the question — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes wants to know whether it’s time to start potty training. (@sheryljesin)
- Seeking Patience — Starr at Earth Mama looks to the collective tribal wisdom of this community to learn how to teach patience to children.
- A Dirty Girl Comes Clean — Tashmica at Mother Flippin’ is struggling. How do parents deal with their inability to keep their children protected from danger? (@Mother_Flippin)
- Uli and the Pussy Cats — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis has a toddler who likes to put kitties in headlocks and ride them like horsies. How best to separate the little beasties?
- Perceptions of Discipline — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t use conventional discipline with her child — and doesn’t know how to respond around people who do. (@zoeyspeak)
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Tags: beauty obsession, girls
I can understand your angst. Having absolutely no experience in these matters (other than being much older than my two younger sisters), I would say – do your best to build them up in every area of their lives. Help them pursue whatever interest they are currently passionate about, remind them that there are so many sides to their personalities, put your trust in them and they will also trust themselves. Let them experiment, let them discover. Provide them a safe place to fall and a positive place when they are feeling low. (And I’m quite sure you’re already doing all of these things, so just remember to take a breath. Your girls will be wonderful – princess or tomboy!)
Dionna´s last blog ..How We Came to Unschooling
My daughter loves all things girly. I really struggled with this for a while, myself.
At this point, I have made my peace with it. Mostly, because of my own story. As a kid I also loved princesses and all things pink and sparkly. My mother says that there was a full year when I refused to wear pants, I would only wear dresses. I also played with Barbies and had aspirations of being a fashion designer one day.
Today, I am an engineer, with a pretty healthy self-image. In the end, the examples of the women in my life were more important to me than the princesses. And so I like to believe the same will be true for my daughter. Because there’s really no fighting this, that I can see. Prohibiting ‘girly’ things seems just as inappropriate as enforcing ‘ladylike’ behaviour. So I take a deep breath and try not to sweat it, with varying levels of success.
Amber´s last blog ..Flying Solo
I love your “Abby-solutely wonderful readers”! Lol
I think it’s the right developmental phase, isn’t it? If I remember my intro to psychology class correctly, that is, ha ha! I think around your girls’ age is exactly right for exploring what it means to be a certain gender. And I forgot about this until Amber mentioned it, but I also was, according to my mother, a total girly-girl as a kid who loved dresses, and now I’m, just, not. Not really. Not a tomboy, either, just an even keel.
I wonder if you can find some role models in books or movies or real life of women who may or may not be beautiful but who become admired for who they are and what they can accomplish. And, of course, continue being the great role model you are, too! A few links I could find:
http://www.mommytracked.com/bookshelf/amazon
http://dadventure.ca/2010/01/1.....ess-books/
http://www.phdinparenting.com/.....-my-youth/
Lauren @ HoboMama´s last blog ..April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting advice
I’m not sure if we should avoid all things princessy… or let’s say all things feminine. I think at that age, wether they are boys or girls, they just want a little magic, which is great. Girls seem to be more attracted to the feminine models like princesses and fairies and the likes, just because around that time they are discovering their own femininity – or at least the fact that there is a difference between boys and girls.
We can hardly deny that to them. I think it is good for them to investigate female role models – that’s what they are doing. Just give them a variety and make sure they see other representations that the medieval defenseless maid. (Mulan comes to mind)
mamapoekie´s last blog ..Itsy Bitsy Biter
Oh, wow! We’re on the same wavelength here. My oldest is still pretty much a tomboy; however, she has a new obsession with Barbie, and I’m not sure how to grapple with it. I don’t like the buxom bombshell, but I don’t want to be so anti-Barbie that she becomes even more alluring (you know how that goes). Anyway, that’s what my letter is about today.
As for the heart of your question, this is a topic I’m very, very passionate about. In fact, I’ll have a book published next spring on reclaiming the beauty of recreation that takes a look at beauty, body image, etc. from a Christian perspective. I had a clinical disorder and want my three daughters to avoid body image pitfalls. At any rate, I’ve thought a lot about this topic. My middle daughter is drawn to all things girl and at first I balked at this, but then I realized beauty isn’t the problem. We are naturally drawn to beauty in nature. Why shouldn’t be drawn to beauty in ourselves? Our feminine nature should also be praised, and girls do this by wanting to make it stand out (like wanting their hair to fall in cascading curls, etc.). It’s the definition of beauty and what makes us women beautiful that is the problem in my eyes. A stick-thin model is not beautiful or strong. Neither is a Hollywood actress who’s in and out of drug rehab despite her good looks and many blessings. Cinderella might be beautiful on the pages of a book or in a movie, but she’s the figment of someone’s imagination. Yet, there are REAL beautiful women out there. So I talk to my girls about these beautiful women. I’m Catholic, so Mary is a woman I frequently refer to as beautiful, not because of her figure or flashy clothes, but because of her gift of self, her kindness, her humility. Mother Teresa is another beautiful women we talk about (as well as other saints in our church tradition).
Whatever your faith tradition, there are sure to be “beautiful” women your girls can emulate. There are beautiful women everywhere, in fact. My mom is another beautiful woman I talk about. She gives so much of herself and has always been content being “just” a mom and wife. Talk about inner strength!
I’ve also found nursing is a great way to broach the topic of real beauty. My breasts aren’t made to be ogled at. They’re to feed my children. To me, there’s nothing quite as lovely as a mother nursing her child. My oldest, who’s only 5, thinks it’s beautiful, too.
Likewise, I have tried to curb their appetite for Disney princesses, but the marketing is strong and grandparents are always buying them princess stuff. Even though my girls have never been to school outside of the home or watched TV with commercials, they know all about Ariel, Jasmine, etc. I don’t make a big deal of it. If they want to dress up like Cinderella or Belle, so be it. (Belle is actually my personal fave princess since she’s a bibliophile, equestrian, and courageous.)
I have discovered some lovely fairy books through a blog called In The Heart of my Home. The books are by Cicely Mary Barker and have helped my girls to appreciate the beauty in nature since there is a fairy for each letter of the alphabet that represents a plant or flower in nature. I try to promote these fairies more than princesses, and my girls love them.
I’m pretty girly myself despite having grown up with brothers, so I can’t fault my girls for wanting frilly dresses, etc. However, I’ve already started conversations about how clothes should be modest adornments, not armor to shield them or to hide their innate beauty or security blankets to make them feel better about themselves. Likewise, a little makeup here and there – when they’re much, much older – will not be a problem providing they’re using it to enhance their natural features, not cover them up. We’ll continue to discuss what it means to be a strong, healthy, and beautiful woman and that society’s definition of beauty is often distorted, unrealistic, and not worth pursuing. But “real beauty” – a beauty that shines from the inside out is something we should all strive to cultivate.
So I say let your girls be girls. They only want to draw others to them and if they do this with their words, their innate femininity, their bright smiles, then they will be very beautiful indeed!
Blessings! Sorry for the long comment.
Kate Wicker @ Momopoly´s last blog ..Peer Pressure
A simplistic response from me, but I think that your girls are just discovering their feminine side. I would continue to encourage them, let them know they can do anything and encourage them in all aspects.
[...] How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is at a loss ever since her tomboys turned into wannabe princesses. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is at a loss ever since her tomboys turned into wannabe princesses. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is at a loss ever since her tomboys turned into wannabe princesses. (@bfmom) [...]
I’m not sure that there’s a single answer to this. But I have a very similar history to yours and here’s my two cents- just encourage them to continue enjoying the same things they did before- climbing trees, chasing lightening bugs when the weather gets warmer, digging in the dirt and playing at the pool. These healthy behaviors will help them see that these dresses are just a costume and that the girl inside of them is still the same.
Mammapie´s last blog ..Solo Parenting
I also have an older girl who has decided she is going to be a Princess when she grows up. Although today she told me when she finishes being a Princess she’ll have a farm to look after her horses, so it looks like the horse obsession phase is coming.
I try to emphasise the natural girly things, like flowers and butterflies. If they want frills and pink they can have as many hibiscus and frangipanis as they want. I also made them both crowns for Christmas out of fabric, felt and beads, they live in the dressup box next to the builder and doctor kits. So long as there is a balance there I’m happy.
Plus I emphasise “If you feel good you look good.” So we talk about feelings much more than looks and things that make you feel good on the inside. At the same time I do tell them they’re gorgeous, because the outside is as much a part of them as everything else.
Deb´s last blog ..Keeping a Weather Diary
I don’t think we necessarily need to deny them girlyness. Girls like pink, nothing wrong with that. My husband and I have discussed this A LOT. I am so glad I have a lot of time to think about(our daughter is 9 mths). I think my being a good role model, pointing out good moral women, and just giving them that affirmation they need will help bring up good moral daughters. I think- I have no experience yet. LOL
I love your blog though, and I am now following you!
Melissa´s last blog ..Mama Rave: Mommy Hook Review and Giveaway
Sort of along the same lines as Kate, maybe you can emphasize more positive aspects of princess-ness. Like have polite tea parties to learn/practice princess manners, and explore your kingdoms on nature walks, and learn phrases in other languages so they’ll be ready to greet princes and princesses from other lands!
On a different note, I think it’s a shame that society seems to think you can’t be girly and beautiful and intelligent and strong. I know at least 2 girls who publically pretended not to be smart because they felt it was incompatible with their glamorous side, and as a girl wearing hot pink to college honors classes, I often felt I was not taken as seriously as if I had worn more “boring” clothes. For me at least, the difference is that beauty shouldn’t be the most important thing to smart girls, but it’s not bad, and if you happen to be gorgeous, you can be smart too, and vice versa.
Maman A Droit´s last blog ..Driver’s Ed For Mommies
I try to separate out the impulse to dress up, which I think is instinctive (and should be honored in children of both genders!) from the princess meta-narrative and “femininity.” It seems like, at least theoretically, there should be a way to honor this exploratory impulse to self-decorate, play pretend, role play, etc., without reinforcing the arbitrary restrictions on what is “for girls” and what is “for boys.” But sometimes it’s not clear how to put this theoretical distinction into actual practice…and whether or not my insistence that princesses can wear pants and boys can wear pink, if they want to, is having any real effect…??? Sigh.
JTB´s last blog ..
[...] How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is at a loss ever since her tomboys turned into wannabe princesses. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is at a loss ever since her tomboys turned into wannabe princesses. (@bfmom) [...]
Wow, it is a conundrum. I’m simply amazed when I try to parent gender-blind and I get girls dressed up like sparkly princesses and boys who turn every household object into a gun.
I don’t want to be forceful (unless we’re talking about a truly harmful situation) but I do try to make sure we’re having tons of conversations about princesses and dress up and what it means, and what it means to them.
I think experimentation is okay, and there’s nothing inherently WRONG with dressing up or wearing pink or sequins or whatever. As an adult, I’m still trying to figure out how to dress in a way that honors myself.
Basically, in a really verbose way: I have no idea!
Cream of Mommy Soup´s last blog ..Dear Lovey Hart, I am Desperate
[...] How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is at a loss ever since her tomboys turned into wannabe princesses. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is at a loss ever since her tomboys turned into wannabe princesses. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is at a loss ever since her tomboys turned into wannabe princesses. (@bfmom) [...]
I was raised like that and turned out fine (feminist would say my husband! lol!) When my daughter wants some makeup and the everything princess, we go for it and it is fun. She’s learning to love herself and feels happy. We’re having a good time. Her favorite princess stays Fiona (from Shrek) because (quoting her) “she can fight and fart in the mud!” Fiona is also the only princess having 3 babies!
CurlyMonkey´s last blog ..I don’t love you Mama!
@Lauren – Thank you for the links. You are probably right about the developmental stages. I had forgotten that part of my psych classes.
@Curly Monkey – That’s hilarious! I had forgotten about princess Fiona. Although in general I’m lucky that so far my girls don’t watch the Disney princesses. They haven’t asked, I haven’t offered. They find it hard to watch movies straight through right now and I’m happy to keep their screen time to a minimum. They still prefer short cartoons.
@Everyone who has commented. I’m really appreciating everyone’s thoughtful advice. Keep it coming!
Melodie´s last blog ..How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession?
[...] How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is at a loss ever since her tomboys turned into wannabe princesses. (@bfmom) [...]
Maybe try to find out what it is about being a princess they find so interesting, and build from there.
My oldest (5) is a tomboy, but she also LOVES to wear dresses. She had started that before she knew princess movies existed.
She loves them all, Mulan, Fiona, Cinderella.
Think of it as role playing. Right now they are little girls having fun being princesses. Maybe you all could put makeup on each other, do nails. I think the more we try to keep things from our the kids, the more they will want to do it.
Darcel´s last blog ..Dear Abby: My daughter really misses her Daddy.
[...] How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is at a loss ever since her tomboys turned into wannabe princesses. (@bfmom) [...]
You don’t have to make them into boys to keep them from those ideas. It’s perfectly fine for them to be princesses and not associate that with weight. What about Fionna in Shrek? She’s a pretty princess… ogre… and happy with herself.
I let my girls go the way they want–they think I’m beautiful and I’m over 200lbs. How you point out beauty to them is going to shape their aesthetics some, but they’ll still develop their own. My mom’s taste in men is almost the opposite of mine, for instance. My daughter is as happy in her black spiderman shirt, her navy transformers shirt and shorts as she is in her frilly pink pants with build in tutu. She prefers skirts in general and even puts them on her male characters (she’s 3, btw), lol.
She hates Disney and hasn’t watched a Disney movie yet. I love Disney and did not get any “body image” ideas from it. They all came from my teenage sister who was perpetually on a diet and then when I got mocked when I gained weight. I stopped eating in high school for periods of time trying to lose weight because I hated “healthy” food, but I just gained weight. When I got over it and ate like I wanted, I lost more weight. Mine was a result of coming off of ADHD medications + genetics.
I was a tomboy, but liked to occasionally be dressed up “like a girl” as long as it wasn’t forced. Even as a tomboy through and through, I developed the eating problems. I still have guilt when I eat because of people’s thoughtless jokes about being fat being related to eating. I can’t stand for anyone to see me eat and if I wasn’t nursing, I would probably still skip whole days every time someone made a “fat people eat lots” joke.
How they dress and what they think is pretty now is not indicative of body image issues. It’s indicative of being little girls, particularly in the case of the five year old. It’s normal at that age to start exploring more gender-specific roles and really notice the difference between boys and girls.
The important things you need to watch for are: the language of the adults in their lives. Are they around people making fat jokes or negative comments about weight? Or do they have anyone in their life obsessing over her weight?
BTW, the only truly anorexic person I’ve known (who I knew that they were, obviously) IRL is a guy. It’s ignored in guys, but they suffer it, too. In silence. So focusing on only one gender to prevent it (especially since what comes out of the mouths of boys influences straight girls far more than anything out of their family’s mouths!) really doesn’t work. It has to be a group effort, every member of your family. If the only people who they ever hear the adults say are “pretty” are thin, then they will make that connection. Pay attention to yourself, their father, any aunts, uncles, grandparents… and don’t obsess! Obsession breeds obsession.
I would shy away from outright discouraging the princess stage, or frilly dresses, or pink or an interest in the feminine. Because if you do, you run the risk of giving them the message that feminine things are more frivolous, not worthy and generally inferior to masculine pursuits. Or just that you are more comfortable with them as tomboys.
Go with it, I say! They have their whole life to develop a range of diverse interests based on their wants, personality and aptitude.
Zoey @ Good Goog´s last blog ..The Real Toddler
My strategy is just not to get too excited about how “beautiful” princess things are and to praise her for qualities other than glittery glam-glam. Like, I tell her quite often that she has a beautiful mind. On the other hand, I don’t let on that I think princesses suck, cause I realize it’s kinda part of little girl culture right now and that would be mean.
Betsy´s last blog ..VII – Happily Ever After The End Part, or LUCKY
@Heather – I really like your comment. Thank you. Like I said earlier my girls aren’t into princesses with names of any sort that come from the media. They’ve just heard about princesses and emulate what/who they think they are. Fiona, Cinderella, Belle, etc. They’re clueless. It’s all about dressing up and just being a “princess.” it’s just wild to me that it happened so overnight. For me it’s been about trying to make sense of the transformation, but it seems as though this is pretty normal. I’m not freaking out and feeling like they can’t dress up and like frilly pink dresses. I don’t want them to be boys, but I’ve just wondered if in trying out this stage if they might lose their more masculine, get dirty, play with trucks kind of thing. It seems as though they likely won’t.
As for weight, we don’t say anything that would ever make them feel self-conscious about their size, skinny, fat or in-between. My Grandma did that to me and it had its consequences. They’re only five and I’m not noticing anyone say anything mean about their size. They are both tall for their age (extremely) and so far that is the only thing folks comment on but not in a detrimental way I don’t think.
@Zoey – No, we’re not discouraging anything. I don’t want to squash their interest or need to explore. I want to keep their self-esteem and curious natures in tact. You make a good point that they have their whole life to develop their tastes. I think that’s what I’m going to take away from this the most.
@Betsy – Princesses don’t suck. Okay. Check.
Like @Amber, I spent a year or so refusing to wear pants and was obsessed with whatever frilly I could put on my bottom (remember ruffled underwear??). Eventually I outgrew it and was back to my tomboy ways. I think it’s important to follow our kids’ interests in a flowing manner (think a river and rocks in its path). The more we try to direct them, the more we’ll all feel harassed and bullied and the result of that may not be natural (think being forced to be lean as child then ballooning when you leave home).
I really love your sensitivity to all of this; I’d feel just like you do. I feel similarly with my son who is obsessed with all things mechanized or electronic (and he’s only 2 1/2). I can’t get him to touch a baby doll and I have NO idea where he’s gotten this – anyway, I’m there with you (in fact, I have a post brewing about this very topic).
Hang in there!
Jessica – This is Worthwhile´s last blog ..Excuse me, I have a poop question
Sometimes I’m awfully glad I have a boy. Princess issues terrify me! But the best thing is that you are sensitive to it. From your own upbringing you are aware of the influences we have on our daughter’s self image. The best thing you can do is model self-love for them. Don’t put yourself down in front of them, ever. Help them embrace their bodies the natural way they are. And oh hell, let them play princess dress up lipstick. If you teach them about confidence in themselves it won’t matter what outside influences say.
the Grumbles´s last blog ..the grumbles primer on pumping at work (part three, the final chapter)
Yesterday was my daughter’s 3rd birthday. She always wants to wear my lipstick and I never let her. Well, yesterday I made the exception. It was so much fun. I still wouldn’t let them wear make-up in public but around the house I think is fine. Anyway, you comment @the Grumbles, made me feel like I wanted to share that with you guys.
[...] How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? at Breastfeeding Moms Unite [...]