Comments on: How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession?

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Body Image Carnival Post Round Up | Breastfeeding Moms Unite — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 05:55:56 +0000

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By: Melodie

Melodie — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 15:44:29 +0000

Yesterday was my daughter’s 3rd birthday. She always wants to wear my lipstick and I never let her. Well, yesterday I made the exception. It was so much fun. I still wouldn’t let them wear make-up in public but around the house I think is fine. Anyway, you comment @the Grumbles, made me feel like I wanted to share that with you guys.

By: the Grumbles

the Grumbles — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 15:41:26 +0000

Sometimes I'm awfully glad I have a boy. Princess issues terrify me! But the best thing is that you are sensitive to it. From your own upbringing you are aware of the influences we have on our daughter's self image. The best thing you can do is model self-love for them. Don't put yourself down in front of them, ever. Help them embrace their bodies the natural way they are. And oh hell, let them play princess dress up lipstick. If you teach them about confidence in themselves it won't matter what outside influences say. .-= the Grumbles´s last blog ..the grumbles primer on pumping at work (part three, the final chapter) =-.

By: Jessica - This is Worthwhile

Jessica - This is Worthwhile — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 16:01:14 +0000

Like @Amber, I spent a year or so refusing to wear pants and was obsessed with whatever frilly I could put on my bottom (remember ruffled underwear??). Eventually I outgrew it and was back to my tomboy ways. I think it’s important to follow our kids’ interests in a flowing manner (think a river and rocks in its path). The more we try to direct them, the more we’ll all feel harassed and bullied and the result of that may not be natural (think being forced to be lean as child then ballooning when you leave home).

I really love your sensitivity to all of this; I’d feel just like you do. I feel similarly with my son who is obsessed with all things mechanized or electronic (and he’s only 2 1/2). I can’t get him to touch a baby doll and I have NO idea where he’s gotten this – anyway, I’m there with you (in fact, I have a post brewing about this very topic).

Hang in there!
.-= Jessica – This is Worthwhile´s last blog ..Excuse me, I have a poop question =-.

By: Melodie

Melodie — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 05:00:08 +0000

@Heather – I really like your comment. Thank you. Like I said earlier my girls aren’t into princesses with names of any sort that come from the media. They’ve just heard about princesses and emulate what/who they think they are. Fiona, Cinderella, Belle, etc. They’re clueless. It’s all about dressing up and just being a “princess.” it’s just wild to me that it happened so overnight. For me it’s been about trying to make sense of the transformation, but it seems as though this is pretty normal. I’m not freaking out and feeling like they can’t dress up and like frilly pink dresses. I don’t want them to be boys, but I’ve just wondered if in trying out this stage if they might lose their more masculine, get dirty, play with trucks kind of thing. It seems as though they likely won’t.
As for weight, we don’t say anything that would ever make them feel self-conscious about their size, skinny, fat or in-between. My Grandma did that to me and it had its consequences. They’re only five and I’m not noticing anyone say anything mean about their size. They are both tall for their age (extremely) and so far that is the only thing folks comment on but not in a detrimental way I don’t think.

@Zoey – No, we’re not discouraging anything. I don’t want to squash their interest or need to explore. I want to keep their self-esteem and curious natures in tact. You make a good point that they have their whole life to develop their tastes. I think that’s what I’m going to take away from this the most.

@Betsy – Princesses don’t suck. Okay. Check.

By: Betsy

Betsy — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 03:59:25 +0000

My strategy is just not to get too excited about how “beautiful” princess things are and to praise her for qualities other than glittery glam-glam. Like, I tell her quite often that she has a beautiful mind. On the other hand, I don’t let on that I think princesses suck, cause I realize it’s kinda part of little girl culture right now and that would be mean.
.-= Betsy´s last blog ..VII – Happily Ever After The End Part, or LUCKY =-.

By: Zoey @ Good Goog

Zoey @ Good Goog — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 03:09:59 +0000

I would shy away from outright discouraging the princess stage, or frilly dresses, or pink or an interest in the feminine. Because if you do, you run the risk of giving them the message that feminine things are more frivolous, not worthy and generally inferior to masculine pursuits. Or just that you are more comfortable with them as tomboys. Go with it, I say! They have their whole life to develop a range of diverse interests based on their wants, personality and aptitude. .-= Zoey @ Good Goog´s last blog ..The Real Toddler =-.