Comments on: I Have The Urge To Spank But I Choose Not To

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 04 May 2010 20:40:14 +0000

p.s. Mel.
I keep thinking about this post and subsequent comment conversation! I wonder what my two siblings would say about having been spanked? That would be interesting, to round things out. Maybe I’ll ask them!

.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Breech Vaginal Birth =-.

By: Amber

Amber — Mon, 03 May 2010 03:05:47 +0000

I was born in the deep deep south. I was spanked. Wooden spoons, hands, belts, “switches” aka small tree branches used as a whip. I can honestly say I don’t feel as if I was abused. Even still, I don’t think it was right. I don’t feel like it taught me to “do right”, it did teach me not to get caught.

Like you I’m a touchy person. I’m a play fighter, and hugger, a tickler. My daughter is just a year old and sometimes when she bites me while nursing I feel my arm wind up…like I’m about the smack her. WTF? Yeah, I don’t actually do it…but why is that my body’s first response. Maybe it has something to do with how I was raised? I don’t know…

What I do know, is that I don’t want Alexa’s gut reaction to pain/annoyance/etc to be to hit.

I’ve been trying to use my own words with her, reasoning if you will, since she was just a few months old. Explaining why I didn’t want her to do something (ie biting), because it hurts or whatever. I’ve been trying to train myself. Really hoping that by the time she’s 2 or 3 or 4 I’ve ending my own urges to give her a whack.

By: Lauren @ HoboMama

Lauren @ HoboMama — Sat, 01 May 2010 12:02:09 +0000

Ok, first, I love Mom’s comment. Is that Paige’s mom? It does go fast, I’m finding as he gets older. I’m glad for the reassurance that being honest works better.

I find that my “itchy hand” comes out when I want my son to suffer as I am suffering. It’s a sort of retribution thing, a lashing out in response. In my rational moments, I know it’s not right and that it’s immature at best, but when I get very angry — yes, the best I can do is remove myself from the situation, even if that also causes some distress in the moment. I’m fortunate in that Mikko’s father is usually also around to be the calmer parent, so I’m not leaving Mikko entirely alone. It still feels immature to go storming off to my room, but it’s better than the alternative. Sigh.
.-= Lauren @ HoboMama´s last blog ..SpankOut Day: Hitting doesn’t help =-.

By: Gentle Discipline 101

Gentle Discipline 101 — Sat, 01 May 2010 03:19:18 +0000

[...] I Have The Urge To Spank But I Choose Not To at Breastfeeding Moms Unite [...]

By: Terrific Toddlers; Tantrums and All

Terrific Toddlers; Tantrums and All — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 12:05:07 +0000

[...] I Have The Urge To Spank But I Choose Not To at Breastfeeding Moms Unite [...]

By: Shana

Shana — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 18:42:14 +0000

I have also felt the ‘itchy hand’ wanting to move towards violence when my buttons have been pushed too far. It’s a very scary feeling for me, to know that I have the capacity to hurt my child in anger. I was only spanked twice growing up, both times it was a big production – to make a point about the greatness of the offense I had committed. I don’t remember ever being hit out of anger, so I’m not sure where my urge comes from, other than I am also a very physical person and tend to express my feelings in a very physical way too. Thanks for such an honest post.
.-= Shana´s last blog ..Making It Fun – The Power of Play =-.

By: Amber

Amber — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 17:03:25 +0000

I could have written most of this post myself. I was spanked as a child, regularly and often. My parents never used a wooden spoon, but otherwise we have very similar experiences. And our firstborn daughters are also similar. Lots of crying, lots of screaming, lots of NOISE.

I have had what I call the ‘itchy hand’ more times than I can count. My triggers tend to be safety situations, like parking lots. I hate parking lots. I have that impulse, and I physically move my hand into my pocket or something. I have never spanked, and I’m glad about that.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..A Van Down By the River =-.