I asked my friend Diana to write a guest post for the Body Image Carnival because I immediately knew she would have valuable insights to share from her life. Diana has had eight major surgeries, starting at age twelve, which scarred her body and put her through a lifelong process of grappling with body image in a culture that prizes the flawless non-ill woman. I feel Diana has had to learn to live with her own kind of post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of her traumatic hospitalizations, starting in early childhood, for acute, chronic ulcerative colitis. It’s been a long road, but she’s come to love and adore her body. After she sent me her piece I wondered aloud to her if she went on too long in the beginning about how much she loves her body. She told me straight up, “I make no apology for loving my body. I earned the right to this relationship with myself. ” And of course she’s right. We all need to learn to love our bodies better, regardless of the scars, metaphorical or not, we bear. You can read her guest post entitled “You Can Never Tell Just By Looking” here.
Skinny Comes at a Cost
Shana from Schoompy Baby in her post Too Thin? talks about her experience being a naturally skinny woman, with a naturally skinny mother and a naturally skinny toddler.
Excerpt: “Being thin is considered an asset. Being skinny is not necessarily. And certainly not when you are the skinny mother of a skinny child. Being skinny puts you at risk of eating disorder/mental disorder stigma. Being skinny with a skinny toddler puts you at risk of whispers, “That woman has an eating disorder and body issues and she’s pushing her neurosis onto her child.”
Jasmine from Step Up and Stand Out…For Real!, in her post She’s Way Too Skinny! writes about her journey of being skinny from bullied as a child to becoming a teenaged mother to losing all her pregnancy weight. Read her post to find out where she stands on being skinny now.
Alexandra at Breastfeeding Momma in her post Extra Curves also grew up being thin and never really understood why other women felt the need to make a fuss over her. Then she got pregnant and saw for herself what it was like to have issues with her body. Read about her journey to self-acceptance.
Erika from Cream of Mommy Soup in her post Weight Loss Surgery: My Ball and Chain gives us an entirely new perspective on what it is to be slim because before she became a size 6 she weighed almost 275 lbs. Erika shares with her readers the pros and cons of having weight loss surgery. This is an eye opening post for anyone who’s ever wondered what it might be like to have a weight loss procedure done.
Excerpt: “I was wrong when I thought being thin would solve all my problems; it solved some, exacerbated others, and created new ones.”
What I learned from these fine writers: Sometimes being this isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sometimes the skinny girls don’t have all the self-esteem society assumes they have. Often they need to learn to love their bodies too! That and you can never tell about someone just by looking. Although I suppose that goes both ways.
Did you grow up the skinny girl? How did it affect your self-esteem and/or body image? If you weren’t the skinny girl, has reading these posts made you more aware of what it might be like to be on the other side of the fence?
Don’t miss out on a round up of Body Image Carnival participants’ posts over at Maman A Droit too. The theme over there is Body Image and Culture.
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Tags: being thin, skinny, ulcerative colitis, weight loss surgery
I grew up thin & was an extremely skinny teenager. I was teased & ridiculed & rumors were spread that I was anorexic and/or on heroin ( seriously!!) Sure I was almost 6′ & only about 125lbs, but I wasn’t trying to be thin ..that’s just me. I never had boobs until I was 20 so naturally I was teased about that too
I never loved my skinny body until I met my wonderful husband & he ( as cheesy as it sounds ) make me realize that “hey I’m not so bad” …I still struggle w/ it sometimes & do worry that when other parents see me w/ my lean toddler that they may be thinking that I don’t feed her or feed her well etc..but I do..& anyone that matters knows that ..
Nowadays after having a baby my stomach is a bit loose & my butt has disappeared but , I have a new respect for this body that grew & is still feeding my wonderful child..It can’t be so bad if it can grow my little one
I’m another one who has been thin my whole life. I settled at 5’6″ and 110 LBs when I was 17 and that’s where I’ve stayed. I also got accused of being anorexic in highschool and I tire of people telling me that I’m so skinny with this strange mix of jealousy and disdain. I’m tired of magazines saying that my body type is called boyish as if I’m not only not female but also prepubescent.
Our society definitely has an assumption that being skinny means we don’t have body issues. But let’s remember that the media ideal is not just to be thin but to also miraculously have a nice curvy butt and big boobs too which is impossible if one is naturally thin. I struggle with feeling less feminine and with coveting the curves of my heavier friends.
I loved my pregnant body. I loved the weight I put on and I was thrilled when my firstborn weighed in at 8 Lbs 2 oz after everyone told me how tiny I was. Breastfeeding has been another story – all my pregnancy weight just melted right off. Coupled with the fatigue (circles under my eyes) I feel like I look like a skeleton and yet, at mom & baby groups I get guilted because of the fact that I’ve already lost all my baby weight when really, I would have loved to have kept it!
.-= BluebirdMama´s last blog ..Balancing Needs When Baby Trumps Mama =-.
looking forward to reading everyone’s posts!!
.-= Alexandra´s last blog ..Extra Curves =-.
I was and still am naturally thin. I eat fairly well – I don’t eat fast food and I try to eat organically, but I eat a LOT of sugar (I’m talking like 5 packets of sugar per cup) and a ton of sweets. I love baked goods and have at least some probably everyday. My sweet tooth is out of control. I don’t excersize regularly, but I think I am active. I don’t sit on my ass either, ya know? The point being – I don’t go out of my way to be thin. I use common sense about what I put into and do to my body. I have three kids and one is 7 months old – I was back in my jeans after a week. Granted, they were my “bloated” jeans but still….I’m now fully back to my size 6 figure.
I get a lot of flack for being thin. It’s like we’re not allowed to complain about our bodies or something. But, the truth is I have total saddle bags and stretch marks and I HATE my nose – but it’s worse on the inside. I have a terrible back and arthritis in my knees, also endometriosis and bi-polar disorder. I don’t usually complain about the way I look because I do love my body. I think the sexiest thing about me is my confidence in myself and how I carry myself – forget looks….looks will only get someone through hello – if there isn’t anything worthwhile beyond that then don’t bother. It’s a waste of time.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I actually LOVE a thick girl before a skinny mini. Love yourself no mater what you’ve been given because it’s YOURS.
Bluebirdmama: I know EXACTLY what you mean about the pregnant body thing. I LOVE being pregnant and feel so incredibly beautiful with the extra weight. Breastfeeding really attributes to loosing the weight so quickly….whether I wanted it to or not.
.-= Juliea´s last blog ..Using A Doula For Birth Care =-.
I have always been naturally thin and looked great throughout my first pregnancy. I LOVED to work out and, of course, ate really well. Now that I’m pregnant with my second I am having body image issues for the first time. I don’t have the time to work out like I used to now that I am a mom. Although I am doing more in terms of preparing my transverse abdominals and pelvic floor for this baby than I did the first, the exercises tailored to my vanity have had to go. My bottom is flabby and my thighs are squishier than usual. I’m pretty self-conscious as we head into the season of shorts and swimsuits.
This carnival was a great read for me. Thanks for posting.
.-= Mommypotamus´s last blog ..Copycat Whole Foods Salmon Dip =-.
Juliea – I could have written your whole first paragraph. We eat healthy here except for the sugar. At least it’s mostly homemade. We don’t buy much in the way of packaged treats. We don’t drink Soda at all. I used to hike a lot but nowadays, I really don’t exercise, other than chasing kids.
I’m grateful that I don’t have to work hard to be thin and I probably err more on the side of taking my body for granted rather than actually disliking it…but you know, it’s never occurred to me to try to love my body.
.-= BluebirdMama´s last blog ..Balancing Needs When Baby Trumps Mama =-.
Bluebird Mama – “But let’s remember that the media ideal is not just to be thin but to also miraculously have a nice curvy butt and big boobs too which is impossible if one is naturally thin. I struggle with feeling less feminine and with coveting the curves of my heavier friends.” Thank you for pointing that out, so true. It is hard to feel feminine and sexy when you are told you look like a 12 year old boy. For a while in my 20s I went a little crazy wearing hyper-sexualized clothing with lots of padding. This was mostly when I went out to dance clubs at night, but still I felt like I had to overcompensate for my boyish figure to feel worthy of a glance by a man.
.-= Shana´s last blog ..Dear Universe: WTF?! =-.
Exactlly! I’m a fairly small woman. I’m only barely 5″1′ but i weight like 103 lbs, and that’s after i had 2 kids. And people ask me constantly “are those your kids? Yes. Do you eat?” it’s like wtf?! I’m sorry i didn’t blow up to a cow or anything after my pregnancies or to your expectations!” People are ridiculous and judgemental. Even in HS people thought i was annorexic at first and then when they saw me eating it turned into buillemia jokes. I don’t eat a lot of junk, we cook most of our food from scratch at home…only occasionally we’ll go out to eat at fast food, but that’s only when we’re super stretched on time. I feel that a lot of the time it’s their jealousy coming out and it’s not fair. I love that i have a thin figure and i don’t have to excersise to keep it, not like i can anyways. but the cynicism u get is ridiculous!i’ve come to believe they’re just upset with their body so they beat me up over mine, and it’s unnecessary.
.-= Ticia´s last blog ..Growing up with CHD/CHF……Part 1. =-.
I’ve been fairly curvy (although also petite other than my curves) since about 6th grade and I always sort of assumed that the tall thin girls had great body image, because hey, they had perfect bodies, right? It’s been eye-opening for me realizing that all women have challenges to healthy self-esteem and body image regardless of their body type. It’s sad that our society is so critical of women’s bodies no matter what shape or size they are!
.-= Maman A Droit´s last blog ..Who Am I? =-.