Welcome to the May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have waxed poetic about how their parenting has inspired others, or how others have inspired them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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My goal in writing this blog has always been to inspire and inform new and/or breastfeeding moms. No matter if the nursling is a newborn, toddler or older child. However, when anyone tells me that I have actually done that, I am surprised. Me? I’ve inspired you? I’ve taught you something? How can that be? I’m just flying by the seat of my pants. It makes me realize that anyone and everyone can make a difference in somebody else’s life, if only we try.
It’s a humbling and wonderful feeling to be told that you’ve made a difference in someone’s life. I remember one of the first personal emails I received from a reader who told me that because of my blog she learned that it’s perfectly natural and beneficial to breastfeed past one year. She said,
“I believe that I found you through twitter when I made an uneducated comment on breastfeeding after 1 year. My views on breastfeeding after 1 year where not very positive, but I have now come to understand this is not only great for the health of baby but the mother and child get a chance to bond even more…I wanted to let you know you have opened my eyes to breastfeeding long after 1 year and how to stand up for my rights to breastfeed. I believe with your help and support of others I will succeed with breastfeeding and if I ever need help I feel I can always come to you.”
Someone else told me that because of my blog she feels more comfortable nursing in public.
“You’ve also made me less shy about talking about breastfeeding publicly and doing it in public too! I’ve still never seen another mom nursing in public except at family gatherings at hubby’s grandma’s house, which isn’t really “in public.” And my own parents and extended family actually think nursing in public or around company is rude and you should use bottles and formula in those situations. So for me, knowing that there are other women nursing their babies proudly everywhere was a big deal!”
I’ve had commenters thank me for not making them feel like weirdos for practicing natural parenting. Many of you have identified with issues I’ve had and have come forward to say thanks for making you feel not so alone. (Don’t you know that in saying that you’ve made me feel not so alone?)
But the personal messages I’ve received that resonate the most for me are the ones that tell me I’ve made a difference to moms around feeling more comfortable nursing a toddler and nursing in public. Something I am passionate about has found its way into the hearts and minds of others! My gratitude to you for telling me this surpasses everything. For this reason, I continue to write.
I write about topics that I know a lot about, and I write about topics that I don’t know a lot about. Sometimes I’m happy to ask readers for help on a certain subject and sometimes I’m a little reluctant. What if you think I shouldn’t be writing a breastfeeding blog if I’m asking for breastfeeding help? What if you don’t agree with my ideas? What if I’m the only mom in the universe who has struggled with this issue?
Yet, every time I post something I’m almost too scared to say, someone comes out of the woodwork and says “Me too.”
When combined, “me” and “too” have got to be the best two words a mother can hear from another mother. I always think that everyone else is doing a way better job at parenting than I am. I often feel like the outcast in my parenting values. So each time I get a validating comment from a reader, as much as my post has made you feel better, your comments make me feel better.
I think we inspire each other just as much by sharing our faults as our successes. I think the more human we are, and the more honest we are about our fallible natures, the more we want to connect with each other and support one another.
Now every time I feel less like supermom and more like the old lady who lived in a shoe, your comments and letters remind me that I’ve already made a difference. Knowing this helps me to make a bigger difference in the lives of my own children. And for that, I’m grateful to you, and I’m inspired to keep on.
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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be updated by the end of the day May 11 with all the carnival links.)
- Woman Seeking Inspiration — Seeking Mother’s struggles and joys to find her own path in motherhood have inspired others — to her surprise! (@seekingmother )
- Paving the Way — Jessica at This is Worthwhile makes a conscious effort every day to be a role model. (@tisworthwhile )
- No Rules Without Reason — The Recovering Procrastinator wants to inspire her husband to discipline their children gently. (@jenwestpfahl)
- Creating a Culture of Positive Parenting Role Models — Michelle at The Parent Vortex shows parents at the playground how to do a front wrap cross carry and tells nurses about her successful home births, as a way of modeling natural parenting in public. (@TheParentVortex)
- Making A Difference for Mamas — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest took an embarrassing pumping incident at work and turned it into an opportunity for all the employees who breastfeed.
- Inspiring Snowflakes — Joni Rae at Tales of Kitchen Witch Momma is a role model for the most important people: her children. (@kitchenwitch)
- Paying it Forward — Amber at Strocel.com inspires new (and often scared) mamas with these simple words: “It will be OK.” (@AmberStrocel)
- A SAHD’s View on Parenting Role Models — Chris at Stay At Home Dad in Lansing doesn’t have many role models as a SAHD — but hopes to be one to his daughter. (@tessasdad)
- Am I a Role Model? A Review — Deb at Science@home brings attachment parenting out of the baby age and shows how it applies (with science fun!) to parenting through all of childhood. (@ScienceMum)
- Say Something Good — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick reminds women that it is within our right to be proud of ourselves without apology. (@RaisingBoychick)
- Try, Try Again — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis wants to inspire like the Little Engine that Could.
- I’m a Parenting Inspiration, Who Knew? — Sarah at OneStarryNight has received several beautiful comments about just what an inspiration she has been, if not in real life then definitely online. (@starrymom)
- That Little Thing — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing demonstrates the ripple effect, one status update at a time. (@BlkWmnDoBF)
- How Has Your Day Been? — mrs green @ littlegreenblog inspired her friend to be an active listener for her children. (@myzerowaste)
- No, Thank You! — If you are reading Maman A Droit’s post, you’ve probably inspired her. (@MamanADroit)
- My Top 3 Natural Parenting Principles — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now describes how her family’s natural and Montessori principles inspired others. (@DebChitwood)
- My Hope for a Better Life — Mandy at Living Peacefully With Children hopes her choices inspire her children toward a better life.
- Natural Parenting Felt Natural — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes didn’t plan on natural parenting — but her son led her there. (@sheryljesin)
- Rest. Is it even possible? — Janet at where birth and feminism intersect has found that even role models need rest — and that there are ways to fit it into everyday parenting life. (@feministbirther)
- May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model — Lauren at Hobo Mama was the fortunate recipient of a seed of inspiration, and has been privileged to plant some of those seeds herself, though she didn’t know it at the time. (@Hobo_Mama)
- crunchspiration — the grumbles at grumbles and grunts wants to inspire others to parent from their heart. (@thegrumbles)
- No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak)
- Upstream Parenting — Luschka at Diary of a First Child blogs for that one mother in one hundred who will find her words helpful. (@diaryfirstchild)
- Parenting Advice for the Girl from Outer Space — If Mommy Soup at Cream of Mommy Soup could give one piece of inspirational advice to new parents, it would be to parent with kindness. (@MommySoup)
- Natural Parenting Carnival — Role Model — Sarah at Consider Eden feels the pressure at trying — and failing — to live up to her role models. (@ConsiderEden)
- May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role Model — Dionna at Code Name: Mama encourages natural parenting mamas to take joy in the fact that they are touching lives and making a difference to children every day. (@CodeNameMama)
- Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom)
- My Seven — Danielle at born.in.japan has identified seven role models in her life who brought her to natural parenting. Who are your seven? (@borninjp)
- A Quiet Example — Alison at BluebirdMama was one of the first parents in her group of friends — and has come to see almost all those friends follow in her natural birthing footsteps, whether intentionally or not.
- Gentle Discipline Warrior — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries has inspired a gentle discipline movement — join her! (@babydust)
- Change The World… One Parent At A Time — Mamapoekie is more comfortable inspiring parents online than she is in real life. (@mamapoekie)
- Inspirational Parenting — pchanner at A Mom’s Fresh Start has intentionally tried to be a role model but was unprepared for how soon someone would take notice. (@pchanner)
- My Inspiration — Erin at A Beatnik’s Beat on Life has written thank-you letters to everyone who’s inspired her to become the lactivist and natural parenting advocate she is today. (@babybeatnik)
No related posts.
I love it. I’m active in a breastfeeding community I found when my first child was 8 days old, I know there was no way I would still be feeding without them. Good on you for getting out and helping re-create the community supporting mothers that we seem to have lost along the way.
.-= Deb´s last blog ..Am I a Role Model? A Review =-.
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
Those were lovely comments you received. Congratulations on the job you do so well of inspiring people. It makes you realize that even if someone says something negative, it doesn’t mean she’s stuck thinking that way — someone’s mind can always be changed, if we keep on keeping on. Thank you for the advocacy you bring to breastfeeding, and for inspiring me to be more encouraging in my posts.
.-= Lauren @ HoboMama´s last blog ..May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model =-.
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
Sharing our faults – this resonated with me. It’s often when I read or listen to the stories of someone’s struggles – while knowing that I respect them as a parent – that inspires me to keep trying and learning. I think that’s why last month’s Carnival topic (asking for advice) was SO popular – because we are all human and we all need help somewhere! It definitely creates connection.
And more on topic – you *are* an inspiration, Melodie – thank you for all you do to normalize breastfeeding and (sometimes more importantly) facilitate conversations between mothers about breastfeeding.
.-= Dionna @ Code Name: Mama´s last blog ..The Joys of Breastfeeding a Toddler #5 =-.
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
me too.
.-= the Grumbles´s last blog ..eight months. =-.
just kidding.
you ARE an inspiration! you’ve put together an amazing community of women here where we can all learn from each other. you don’t always have to have all the answers, the beauty of it is the give and take of our relationships. that we can all help and then not feel so alone, because, me too really IS the best.
.-= the Grumbles´s last blog ..eight months. =-.
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
Great post! I’ve gotten many of those emails too – whether its from a VBAC mom, a mom who never thought she’d nurse and is now a lactivist, or a woman who never knew she could combine feminism and mothering. It’s always awesome to get those notes. It proves that what you’re doing matters to somebody. It changes people’s lives, and that’s just about all the validation I need to keep going.
.-= TheFeministBreeder´s last blog ..Guest Post: Skipping Chapters =-.
Keep it up. There are so many new moms that are clueless about breastfeeding. Keep inspiring and educating.
.-= pchanner´s last blog ..Our Container Garden =-.
It is alarming to me the bad rep breastfeeding still gets. Are people really that uneducated? I think it’s wonderful that you keep spreading the word. So much of what you said resonated with me. I write for the same reasons… if one person somewhere is inspired, that’s fantastic…
.-= Luschka´s last blog ..Upstream Parenting =-.
I disagree with you a lot, and I tend to find your vegitarian posts preachy. But even so, your blog has given me the confidence I needed to nurse my new baby. I had trouble with my first one because he was a preemie, but my second was born two weeks ago, and I’m thrilled to say that is going great. Thanks to you, I was able to stand up to a hospital dr who wanted me to supplement with formula because he didn’t think my little one was eating enough. And he gave us a hard time because it took a bit longer for her jaundice to clear up. Thank goodness for my iPhone! I think I made everyone nervous when drs and nurses would tell me something I didn’t quite agree with and then I was instantly on the internet to double check. I don’t know if I could have stood up for my rights as easily if you hadn’t educated me through your blog posts.
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
Your passion comes through on the page so well that readers can’t help but be inspired! Every time I want to blush in public for nursing I think of you and hold my head high!
.-= Paige @ Baby Dust Diaries´s last blog ..Sunday Surf =-.
It is amazing to read how much your writing has impacted women on one of the most important elements of motherhood. You are making an enormous impact in this world and you should definitely be proud of your work and keep it up. I agree that hearing how other mothers are succeeding and struggling just makes me feel so much more comfortable with my efforts and allows me to be a part of a more open community. We all need this. You have a real presence.
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Woman Seeking Inspiration =-.
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]
You do a great job Melodie and I’m happy to hear that you’ve gotten such heart-warming and ego-boosting notes. We all need positive reinforcement in our lives sometimes and blogging can be lonely in some ways without it. I’m really glad it does go both ways, and I’m always glad for those posts where you do go out on a limb and share things that might be scary for you. If only more of us moms could do that more often, we’d all feel less alone.
.-= BluebirdMama´s last blog ..A Quiet Example =-.
You completely deserve such awesome comments ALL the time! You’ve helped make breastfeeding NORMAL instead of this weird outcast thing that should be shamed and only hippies do it (all stuff I’ve heard).
You are amazing!
.-= Sarah @ OneStarryNight´s last blog ..I’m a Parenting Inspiration, Who Knew! =-.
@ Deb – Thank you!
@ Lauren – It was that comment that really made me feel as though it was okay to educate someone on breastfeeding on twitter. As long as it id done respectfully we can get through.
@Dionna – Thank you for your kind words.
@the Grumbles – Thanks for reinforcing that I don’t always need to have all the answers. I started this blog just as a mom with a passion for breastfeeding. So my advice and perspective is often different from that as a professional. While I grappled with this for awhile, I feel like I’ve settled into a place with how I write my blog that I like and feel okay with.
@TFB- Yep, the validation rocks. When I’m feeling down or have writer’s block or think about stopping, I look back on what I’ve done thus far and keep going. The day I do stop the same thing will give me the permission to do so, knowing this blog has made some difference.
Paige – It’s cool how we think of each other at certain times depending on what we associate each other with.
@Michelle – Thanks. Saying I have a “real presence” is one of the nicest things I’ve heard.
@Blueird Mama – Thanks!
@Sarah – Thanks. I think you’re pretty amazing too!
Keep doing what you’re doing! It’s ok to not have all of the answers and to ask questions when you don’t. If people are reading your blog then you’re making a difference somewhere.
.-= NavelgazingBajan´s last blog ..That Little Thing =-.
Those emails are awesome.
We don’t need to have it all figured out to be role models. In fact, sometimes I think it’s better if we don’t. It gives others the freedom to say ‘me too’ when we’re not perfect. That’s a gift that you give through your blog, and I’m so grateful for that voice that you provide.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Moms, Blogging, Marketing and Respect =-.
You’re doing an awesome job! It’s so important for people to have as much support as they can get with breastfeeding. If I hadn’t had the help of numerous people there would have been no way I’d have gotten past the first two weeks. But once I did, we never looked back.
.-= Zoey @ Good Goog´s last blog ..Guest Post @ The Feminist Breeder – Skipping Chapters =-.
What an amazing feeling that must be to receive such a positive response! If everyone could seek to be a positive influence in whatever area they are most interested in, we would have an entirely different society. I am so glad we have women like you to support and encourage breastfeeding!
.-= Brenna´s last blog ..Barley & Birch tee giveaway… =-.
What a great job you’re doing of inspiring new moms to do something so important for them and their babies!
.-= Deb Chitwood´s last blog ..My Top 3 Natural Parenting Principles =-.
Thanks everyone for all the sweet and encouraging comments. I love this supportive community we have!
i think its a very supportive post as mothers who are looking after their children full time need to realize that even after having kids, their life is their own and with inspiration and support they can do everything!!
.-= Henna @ AboutDivorce´s last blog ..Best Tips for Dealing with a Divorce =-.
[...] Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom) [...]