I really wish I was going to Blog Her’ 10. But last year when the tickets went on sale we knew our life would be in limbo this summer so I purposely didn’t buy one. Of course I’ve been dreaming about it anyway. Except every time I dream about it, I find myself back at high school. Except now I’m the new kid who doesn’t know anyone (except a couple nice women I met on line – if only I can find them!) and I’m navigating my way through the cliques that fill the hallways, trying to find my tribe and hoping that once I find them they’ll accept me.
See my tribe of bloggers who I’ve never met but feel a certain kinship with are pretty damn popular. These are the women who I would band with in the protest of any massive swag attacks by Nestlé. (Elita from Blacktating wouldn’t be there to help us but she’s voting with her feet due to the Nestle sponsorship scandal). There’s Gina from The Feminist Breeder, and Annie from Phd in Parenting. But although I consider both of these highly intelligent and downright awesome women my bloggy friends, they probably wouldn’t be hanging out together. (Please don’t ask me to explain. I don’t want to ruffle any feathers here.) Which puts me in the middle. Just like in high school when my two of my best friends didn’t get along and I had to choose sides even though I could see both sides and just wanted everyone to get along already. Not that I think either of them would make me choose sides. It’s just an analogy people. Easily remedied by spending time with them separately or hanging out with Danielle from Momotics and Arwyn from Raising My Boychick. Who else among the lactivist and birth activist bloggers are going?
*Update: Gina and Annie have reconciled. So make sure you still continue to adore both of them and ignore what I said above.
I don’t think any of my Natural Parenting friends are going. You know who I’m talking about. Dionna from Code Name Mama, Amber from Strocel.com, Lauren from Hobo Mama, Paige from Baby Dust Diaries, Heather from It’s All About The Hat, and Maman A Droit. In a way I’m just that much more relieved that I’m not going because without them I think it would be like getting invited to a cousin’s sleep over party and not knowing anyone there. That always sucked.
There’s one crowd I really want into. My idea of the “cool crowd” but I’m really not sure if they’d accept me. Other than a choice few like Heather from The Mommypotamus and Alex from A Moderate Life I’m not sure if they accept me now. This would be the “real food” crowd. And I’m pretty sure at least some of them are just putting up with me because I do a good job of linking to their posts every week on my Vegetarian Foodie Fridays. See, I don’t eat meat and they do, so I think that they think (yes, this is so totally high school) I shouldn’t be allowed to hang with them because I’m doing my body a disservice. I disagree but I don’t make a big stink about it. They’re smart and know nutrition and that’s why I like them so much. And then my would-have-been, could-have-been vegan friends who I also think are pretty cool because they don’t eat dead animals don’t want to be my friend either (I’m just guessing) because vegetarians aren’t as pure as vegans – even though they think eating tofu is good for them and I know better. Although I also know that eating dessert is bad for you too but I’m still a fan of the mainstream food bloggers who know how to make a mean white chocolate cheesecake with blueberry sauce and table scape some mean napkins and matching dishes with a pretty sponge cake right in the middle. Oh, it doesn’t matter, I don’t think they’re going anyway. Where oh where do I fit in?
Maybe with the green bloggers? I do love them. Crunchy Domestic Goddess among others. They’d be my after school club friends. But I probably wouldn’t get too much time with them either. You know, because I wasn’t as committed in the club to saving the earth (even though I was at home!) and I chose to major in breastfeeding and minor in foods instead. Sigh.
Then there’s the über-popular crowd. I wouldn’t even bother trying to infiltrate this one. (Unless I ran into Cecily from Uppercase Woman who is nothing like most of the people I’m thinking of. She totally rocks my world and is super nice to boot.) I would like to meet and worship at Her Bad Mother’s feet but I think Catherine has enough of those kinds of followers already and I wouldn’t need to make a fool out of myself just to say hello, although at one of these shin digs I could liken to prom for strangers I would likely do or say something stupid to someone at some point. Even though I know they’re just people like me, I’d expect these rich kids (aka, profiting bloggers) would be too busy networking with each other and stroking each other’s virtual blog awards to take much notice of the crunchy breastfeeding blogger in the corner. Even though I’m hard to miss being 6 ft tall and everything. Hm, maybe that could finally start working for me. There’s no short men to intimidate at Blog Her right? To me these ladies are like the super hot jocks in high school. Everyone admires them and thinks they’re pretty smokin’ but no one is quite sure how to approach them.
Then there’s everyone else. Most of them who write blogs I’ve never even heard of yet. Some of them I follow on Twitter but until yesterday never checked out their blogs. (@mamabmy @militarymama @measamommy and @babydickey) Is subscribing to 103 blogs not enough? (I just counted). I’m pretty sure I would meet some of these women and be smitten with them immediately. But then I’m back at high school and I’m the the new kid and don’t have the confidence to approach them. I would feel like I should have something interesting to say to these people. “What’s your blog?” is probably the most asked question at Blog Her. But I guess that’s where a person starts right? We all go to Blog Her for the first time at some point and if we aren’t making triple digit dollars plus then we have to make connections somehow. I guess we’re all the new kid in the beginning. I’m just glad I get at least one more year to figure out how not to make Blog Her like high school. Or so I will keep telling myself once those Blog Her tweets start up in August.
Photo credit: Rustic Roads
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Tags: Blog Her '10
It’s interesting that you bring this up. I was thinking the same thing last week. I am a relatively new blogger – caught between three niches and often wonder where I would fit. Would I have to mingle between the three crowds (Mommy blogs, breastfeeding advocates, gluten free resource) – sounds quite confusing.
I think i am going to go next year – i hope i can go next year. There are some amazing women i would LOVE to meet – just hope i dont come across as a groupie -LOL!
Devan @ Accustomed Chaos´s last [type] ..Why You Should Be Mindful of Your Language Too
Yeah I’m definitely not going to any blog conferences…no offense to blog conferences…just not my thing. But your post made me think, how fun would a natural parenting carnival slumber party be!? I’m picturing us and our nurslings and an assortment of sleeping bags, baby toys and baby books and our laptops/iPod touches sprawled out all over the floor in cute nursing pajamas eating fruit and other healthy snacks…lol. Stupid geography/money/etc that means it’d never really happen! (plus the hubbies might feel left out…)
Maman A Droit´s last [type] ..My New Apartment
what is the purpose of a blog conference anyway? to get sponsors? network? get swamped with swags and giveaways? i don’t even know if we have a similar blog conference in manila!
Jenny´s last [type] ..La Leche League Makati Meeting in Saturday
Aw! Thanks. I wish I was going to see you too!
But I have to say, Catherine is totally approachable and awesome.
The purpose? For me, it’s to learn. To bond. To recharge.
And to get a weekend off from the family!
I don’t think I’ll ever go- mostly because I can’t imagine having to leave a nursling even if that nursling is 2. Of course, this year I might have a newborn, too.
TopHat´s last [type] ..Inquisition Wednesday
I have a miniature panic attack every single time I think about being at BlogHer. I have intense social anxiety, which I try to make up for by being an extrovert (don’t ask – it’s hard to explain, but trust me when I say that being on stage in front of thousands of strangers is MUCH MUCH MUCH easier for me than trying to have a personal conversation with just ONE stranger – this is why most musicians do lots of drugs and die alone.)
I also know that I pissed off most of the top 20 bloggers by hating their friends anti-woman, body-shaming sex advice book, so they probably all want to punch me in the face… That’s okay though, I’m used to taking one for the team.
I also got called every expletive in the book by one particularly psychotic blogger (who’s somehow more popular than most of them put together) after I pointed out the fact that she called Janet Frasier (homebirth mom) a “criminal.” That same blogger hated my huge breastfeeding post that blew up. I’m just pissing her off all over the place, and she’s got no problem being abusive and nasty to the people that she doesn’t like.
I’m hoping that feminism and intelligence wins out over the high school crap – and what I’ve discovered recently (by reading some experienced BlogHer attendee posts) is that our little mommy blogger world is a TINY fraction of this conference. Even if we were all best friends, we are the minority among tech, finance, design, food, etc bloggers.
I’m going to network, learn, and amplify my voice. I feel like I spend a lot of time preaching to the choir, and I think we could all make a bigger impact by spreading our cause to people who may not have ever thought about breastfeeding, or birth, or feminism.
I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have a “green mama” conference. Think we can make that happen without Nestle somehow sponsoring it?
TheFeministBreeder´s last [type] ..This Is No Way to Convert Me to Christianity
How about BlogHer 2011? We can meet up at the Vancouver airport and hold each other’s hands. It will be totally cool, and hopefully the whole thing will be a little closer to home than New York. Fun all around!
Amber´s last [type] ..Dealing with Unpredictable Cash Flow
Love this post! I’m flattered all to pieces that I was mentioned (swoon!).
I’m a newbie too, though, and I’m not running ads (yet?), and I have a kiddo who won’t let me out of his sight for 3 hrs, and I would feel socially awkward b/c I’m not sure (either) what one gets from a blog conference.
I’m sure it would have been fun though. Maybe next year we can be newbies together
Dionna @ Code Name: Mama´s last [type] ..Gentle Parenting Ideas: Toddlers and Shopping Trips
So wait… does this mean you subscribed to my blog yesterday or not? hahahaha
Also – I’d totally bring you into my clique. That means there’d be two of us standing awkwardly in the corner and hoping we found a place to fit in. I talk to a lot of bloggy mamas on twitter/email/etc… but I’ve never actually met any of them, and I am totally, 100% awkward in situations like that.
Also – I’m not going this year
There was about 7 hours yesterday where I thought I was YAYAYAYAYAYAY! But hubs and I realized this isn’t the year for me.
See you at 2011?? Maybe we can be roomies!
This is why I didn’t buy a ticket (well, this plus my 1 year old nursling who was refusing to eat ANYTHING besides milk straight from the tap until just a couple weeks ago). I couldn’t imagine trying to be friends with people who I KNOW have never heard of me. I practically break out in hives every time I imagine introducing myself and having the person I thought of as an internet/twitter friend look at me blankly. I read a post from last years BlogHer from a popular blogger where she mentioned how awkward it is trying to read everyone’s nametag while not making it obvious you don’t know who they are.
All that being said, I do plan to go next year if there is any possible way to make it happen. I feel like I have a pretty good circle of small-time bloggers like myself who would be happy to sit in corners and stare at the celebrities and entertain ourselves while everyone else is at private parties. When else will I get to meet my internet friends who are spread out from Canada to Mexico and Massachusetts to California?
Suzanne´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday: Peanut Butter Edition
I went to BlogHer last year and loved it. I had one brief 10 second encounter that did feel like high school all over again, but that was it. The rest of the weekend, I met great people, many that I knew online already and many that I did not.
Annie @ PhD in Parenting´s last [type] ..Oh those technology obsessed neglectful parents…
@Devan – One thing about having many niches is that you do have wider access to networking. I find it is really good for me to bring people to my blog that otherise wouldn’t have though to check out.
Hey Jenny – They are about going to seminars/workshops and learning more about crafting one’s blog as well as meeting the people you read and all that other stuff you mentioned. (Or so I hear).
@Cecily – Glad to know about Catherine’s approachability. I’ll keep that in mind for next time. Sorry I’ll be missing you this year!
@TFB – Jeez, I wish I was coming so I could help make nice. People usually don’t want to punch me in the face. I helped save a couple black eyes for my best girlfriend in middle school a number of times! (bodyguard resume material?)
@Amber – That was a big part of it too. I would feel more confident asking for sponsorship if the conference was in Seattle or something. And then I know other bloggers from around here would be more likely to go too.
@Measamommy – Yes, Yay, boo and sure! (in that order!)
@bebehblog @Dionna – I think everyone likely feels that way to some extent. That’s why I like to stick with the ones I know will know me. Unless of course I plan ahead to meet someone somewhere. And I think a lot of moms with little ones, especially those they can’t wear or easily hush all day, don’t go, and I think that’s pretty cool actually.
@Annie – I’m glad to know it was a positive experience. I think it would be fun and good for building confidence too.
Oh, I am totally NOT approachable, if by NOT approachable you mean, prone to giggling inappropriately and squeeing at anyone who doesn’t think that I am the total doofus that I totally am.
You could hang with me anytime. You just have to promise to not laugh at me *too* much.
Seriously, I’m really kind of ridiculous. Cecily will tell you.
We don’t need a conference we need a…Reunion. We’re like family, right!
I also don’t get BlogHer – I feel like if you don’t have ads/sponsors (and don’t want them) then there isn’t as much they offer. Although when I think about meeting all of you it doesn’t sound so bad. I’d probably blow off the conference though and just hang out.
Thanks for mentioning me. I try to refrain from getting all sappy (but really I’m the sappiest sap you’ll ever meet) but I think the sisterhood I feel with many of you is such a blessing! /sniff. (hug)
/end sapfest
Paige @ Baby Dust Diaries´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday: I can sew…clothes!
This is exactly how I feel. That said I would love to go. And this was probably the one opportunity I had to go because it is so close to me. But with my babies and everything this was not a good year for me. Oh well. I would never have the guts to approach anyone. I am not cool enough and do not fit into any crowd really. I sort of babble. Is there a bloggers who babble clique? I need that one.
Upstatemomof3´s last [type] ..What Are We Really Teaching?
I’m not going – but you would totally be welcome at my table if I were.
Steph
Adventures In Babywearing´s last [type] ..She’s not afraid
Paige:
Last year at BlogHer there was only one session all weekend long about the ad network. Most of the sessions at BlogHer are on how to be a better blogger. That ranges from sessions on specific topics (e.g. feminist blogging) to how-to sessions (how to increase your stats) to inspirational or community sessions (e.g. mom bloggers, food bloggers, change agents, etc.). From my perspective, most of BlogHer is NOT about the ad network and sponsors. The sponsors are a necessary evil and the ad network is an option for those who want to make some money on their blog.
Annie @ PhD in Parenting´s last [type] ..Oh those technology obsessed neglectful parents…
I’ll be honest, the only reason I was going to BlogHer was because I wanted to meet some of the women I really admire and like online in person. People like Judy from Mommy News, Jake Aryeh Marcus from Sustainable Mothering, Arwyn from Raising My Boychick. I feel the same way as many when it comes to “Mommy Blogging.” It all feels like HS or junior high in some cases, what with the popular cliques and the mean girls. I went to Blogalicious last year and it was OK but I honestly don’t think I get out of blogging conferences what other people must get. Even in looking at the BlogHer agenda, there were really only one or two sessions I even wanted to go to. It really was more for the opportunity to meet a bunch of people I already like.
Elita @ Blacktating´s last [type] ..Oooohh, weeee, hey! What up wit dat?
Last year was my 1st BlogHer and I was very nervous about it. Being naturally shy and having an anxiety disorder tend to do that to a person.
Anyway, I found it to be a really great experience – much less daunting than high school. I got to meet some amazing women – who I’d only known online – in person. I hung out primarily with the AP moms, but also spent some time with the green bloggers and met lots of others and created some great new friendships along the way.
Hope you’ll consider going next year.
crunchy domestic goddess (amy)´s last [type] ..Boys, Girls, Bathing Suits and Inequality
I hadn’t thought about it but now I’m imagining myself there. I’d be the wide-eyed freshman,for sure. But I agree with Elita @ Blacktating, it would be worth it to ACTUALLY get to meet some of the mom’s I’ve been admiring at a distance for so long.
And for the record, I like vegetarians. At least the ones that know better than to think tofu is a health food ; – )
Mommypotamus´s last [type] ..Dr. Potamus: At Your Service
I’m hoping it will be a bit like high school, where I ignored (and was mostly ignored by) 90% of the people, and made a REALLY great group of friends from all different niches. Goths, jocks, nerds, geeks, honor students, drop outs — we just liked each other, and didn’t care about all the drama shit (except for those of us who were actually, y’know, in Drama).
And really, that’s the only way that it’ll work for me, because I’m similarly between niches: feminism, attachment parenting, crunchy/green, LGBTQIA, disability, etc. I write it all.
I’m not letting myself think much about it yet, but I’ll be packing my rescue remedy, and hooking up with a couple people I already “know”, so I don’t spend the whole time in the corner. Once I make even one connection, I find it much easier to act confident and comfortable.
Also, I’m not going for the parties. I’m going TO some parties, but I don’t want to have a manic break, so I’m also going to, like, sleep and rest as some point.
I do wish you could come and we could meet! I would absolutely hang out with you. And yay for 6′ friends, so my 5’10″ self wouldn’t feel so giant!
(If anyone ever organizes the non-Nestle-sponsored AP or crunchy parenting blogging conference/family reunion, I AM SO THERE.)
Arwyn´s last [type] ..The Boychick’s Bookshelf: Sojourner Truth’s Step-Stomp Stride
Yea! Someone who overthinks conferences just like I do! And so glad to be included among your list of friends who won’t be there. I felt the same way. I figured all the super popular people — yes, Arwyn, you, too, even though you ragged us on Twitter about it
— wouldn’t have much time for me because they’d have so many other people to hang with. Oh, gosh, that’s like saying you’re not popular, Melodie! I just think of you as a popular person who for some reason chose to be friends with me, which is always lovely. I love having a small coterie.
I would SO be up for a local AP/natural parent slumber party. We can braid hair! And tell ghost stories!
I do want to try BlogHer next year, I think, but I keep wondering how the logistics work. This year was just not happening, with one still eagerly nursing toddler but such a long & costly journey to take all three of us (or just two of us, but then finding/enduring childcare in a strange city). I couldn’t figure out how to swing it.
Does anyone know where BlogHer 2011 is supposed to be? Can we put in plugs for the Pacific Coast??
Lauren @ HoboMama´s last [type] ..I am nursing a 3-year-old at Code Name: Mama
@CrunchyGoddess – I am absolutely considering going next year. I just hope al the same people I want to meet will still be going!
@Elita & @Mommypotamus – I didn’t know Jake and Judy were going. I would love to meet them too! Yes, meeting all the people I would otherwise not be able to meet would be great. And attending a couple of workshops would be fun too, I think. @M – I’m glad you like vegetarians. I knew you were okay with it though which is why you are one of my favorite real foodies!
@Arwyn – It sounds like you have a good plan for yourself. I would be worried about the parties too because I would feel like I’d be expected to go to a bunch or stay up late but when I don’t get my sleep I can NOT function! I always have to leave those things early and I would be worrying what people thought of me taking off early. So dumb. So high school mentality, but so me.
@Lauren – They had better have next Blog Her in Seattle. Then for sure I could go! Or even LA maybe. Although I’d prefer Seattle. And no, I don’t think of myself as popular at all. Sort of kind of known but not all that popular. Nice to know people might think so otherwise though.
@Paige – Just re-read your comment. Awww! You could be my best sentimental friend! I love having friends who are sappy. Then my sappy side can more easily come out which is a rather natural side to me I tend to hide around certain people.
@Steph – Thank you! That would be so cool! Next year you can save me a seat!
Hi Melodie, I understand the social anxiety, but I bet you’d have a wonderful time and you would fit in just fine. We don’t have to live the same life as the next person to be cordial and/or friendly. We can all learn from one another. Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a nice comment. Have a great week!
Beth
Beth´s last [type] ..Starbucks Giveaway Winners
Found you from a new to me favorite blog “hobo mama” — I want to go to blog her.. but it doesn’t fit in my family schedule this year… I’m sure I’d know no one because I figure everyone there will laugh that I am still on blogger!! Anyway… I love your blog and I’ll be back!
Everyday Kathy´s last [type] ..A humble ending
Thanks Everyday Kathy for stopping by. I look forward to hearing more from you in the future!
It’s funny how much this post resonates with me. I AM going this year and I’m mostly ambivalent. I’m so bad on Twitter that I feel like I’m missing out on pre-BlogHer excitement, which definitely brings me back to hs where all the “cool” kids had spent all summer long practicing football/cheerling together so when they hit the school year they’re already fast friends.
There are only one or two bloggers that I’ve gotten to know well that are going and I’m not planning on spending every waking moment with them. However, if you were going, I’d like to get to know you better!
God – who the hell knows how this is going to go for me… I’m rooming with two bloggers whose blogs are NOTHING like mine and one I know well enough, but the other is a complete stranger. *sigh*
In any case, if there’s ever a Natural Parenting Carnival get-together I’m so in (life allowing, of course).
Jessica – This is Worthwhile´s last [type] ..Social media interactions: How not to be an asshole
@CrunchyGoddess – I am absolutely considering going next year. I just hope al the same people I want to meet will still be going!
@Elita & @Mommypotamus – I didn’t know Jake and Judy were going. I would love to meet them too! Yes, meeting all the people I would otherwise not be able to meet would be great. And attending a couple of workshops would be fun too, I think. @M – I’m glad you like vegetarians. I knew you were okay with it though which is why you are one of my favorite real foodies!
@Arwyn – It sounds like you have a good plan for yourself. I would be worried about the parties too because I would feel like I’d be expected to go to a bunch or stay up late but when I don’t get my sleep I can NOT function! I always have to leave those things early and I would be worrying what people thought of me taking off early. So dumb. So high school mentality, but so me.
@Lauren – They had better have next Blog Her in Seattle. Then for sure I could go! Or even LA maybe. Although I’d prefer Seattle. And no, I don’t think of myself as popular at all. Sort of kind of known but not all that popular. Nice to know people might think so otherwise though.
Mel, I seem to always find out the things I need to find out…and some little bird led me here today.
First of all, YOU dont need to fit in with anyone! darling dont you know you are blasing your OWN trail??? Your energy and your enthusiam is infectious! Just keep wacking down the jungle vines in front of you and doing what makes YOU feel good! who wants to fit into a niche anyway? that means you have to make compromises to do what THEY want you to do to fit in.
I aint in any crowd! I am just ME, sitting in the middle of the road, and I have friends in every camp along the way that I have joined, from vegan, raw, macrobiotic, monodiet, fruitatarians, you name it chick, I have tried it in the name of health.
Food asetism is worthless. WHAT makes you healthy is being in LOVE with the way you eat. Your post reminded me of a great story that Christiana Northrup tells of bunnies fed “bad food” but being healthy because their care taker was loving on them when she fed them…it is important to EAT WHAT you think is healthy for you–and if you want to be vegetarian, which, as YOU know by reading my recipes is almost what I am, and it feels good to your body and eating meat would make you feel YUCKY, know that that YUCKY feeling far outweighs any “chemical” benefit that the food you are avoiding might impart.
I love YOU for you–and I would LOVE to meet you in the flesh–who know? maybe one day! I have never been good with women’s groups, so never even considered joining blogher, but maybe I should look into it if you find it so important. See, I do take a look at what the people I ADORE are doing and make informed choices from their actions.
You are you–uniquely wonderfully and wicked rockin cooly you–Mel, awesome and fierce, and I wouldnt want YOU any other way!
Big hugs! Alex
alex@a moderate life´s last [type] ..Tackling Bittman! How to cook everything…sourdough pancakes