What do you think? Pregnant, fat or just an unflattering shirt?
You know you’ve gained a little too much weight when your stretchy underwear no longer gives way. It was one thing to be asked how far along I was by the guy at the ice cream shoppe a couple months ago when I was wearing my less than flattering, too tightly fitted t-shirt (the one seen here), which was made all the more embarrassing by the fact that I was at an ice cream shoppe and not pregnant. But needing to go and buy new panties because I have a belly bump (but an empty one!) sucks!
I’m not quite sure what happened. At 6 feet tall I have always fluctuated between a nice healthy 157 and a not-too-bad 162 pounds. Now I’m 175. A weight I’ve only ever reached being pregnant.
All I can think to blame it on is the time I fell off the wagon. Off the wagon and into a bag of Hallowe’en candy that is. That was almost a year ago and after three months of going sugar free. I couldn’t have missed it that badly! In fact, no. I remember I actually started losing weight around that time. My diligently exercising friends and I called it “Mel’s cheesecake and ice cream diet.” While they sipped parsley and kale from a glass (green smoothies), I was baking my favorite Vegan Fudge Brownies to bring over for our girlfriend’s spa night. And I lost weight. Yes, I did. But karma is a bitch. You should see my 15 km-running, Bikram’s Hot Yoga Challenge-going, camping by bike with three kids in tow, mountain hiking girlfriends now! Hi ladies! (waving)
The weird thing is I’m not feeling all that horrible about gaining all this new weight. In fact, with the exception of knowing I need to exercise more, I feel pretty good about my body. In some ways I am more accepting of my body at this point in my life than I have ever been. My husband doesn’t have a problem with how I look. My kids don’t care. My ex-boyfriend didn’t say anything condescending when I saw him a couple weeks ago, and for the first time in my life, when my mother pats my belly and asks “what’s this?” I can tell her to knock it off and not let her perception of my fatness ruin my day.
When I was 13 and also 6 feet tall, I weighed 135 lbs. Because my friends were all around 110 lbs I went to Weight Watchers and took diet pills. I read beauty magazines and dreamt of making it as a model. See, I’d taken a local modeling course by a has-been leg hair removal company pin up girl from the 60′s. She told me if I lost 20 lbs that I might have a chance to make it big. She told me I had a nice neck and good teeth. Well, no, my dentist actually told me I had good teeth and could be a tooth model so with all that self-esteem boosting I was determined (for a year or so until it wore off) to give it a shot. I even experimented with bulimia, but I couldn’t make myself throw up and I was too scared to take too many laxatives. Obviously I wasn’t cut out for an eating disorder. Oh darn it anyway.
Do I want to buy new bikini briefs the next size up? No.
Do I want to fit into my sexy red pants and favorite blue jeans again? Yes.
But I bet that I can find new pants to make me feel good too. In fact, the issue is actually more about spending money on new clothes than what size they are. Plus, shopping is exhausting, and it’s hard to get time away from my two girls to do it alone. Having them with me makes it impossible.
So what am I going to do? I don’t know. I’m cutting back on my sweets but I’m not ready to give them up again just now. Also, in the past, when I fluctuated up, I always fluctuated back down. The season would change, or my appetite would change. I’d eat more salads and less grains. I’d snack less because I’d go to bed earlier. I actually thought I would lose what I have gained this summer, but for some reason I have not. Maybe it’s been the stress of moving? Well, no matter what the reason is I now have a tummy that looks like this – okay I’m kind of sticking it out but the shirt truly doesn’t do me any favours.
My "bump."
I don’t love it. I don’t hate it. But I am okay with it. Maybe it just takes reaching one’s mid-30′s to feel this way.
But no, I’m not pregnant. The Feminist Breeder is though.
How are you feeling about your body these days?
Photo credit: My budding photographer three year old daughter!
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Great post! One of the best things about age is that we accept the pooch and worry about more important stuff
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Melodie Reply:
August 10th, 2010 at 1:52 am
I truly think you’re right Lara. My head space around this is so different from what it would’ve been even just a few years ago.
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I was fairly obsessed with the way I looked before I was pregnant. I have always been “chunky” for my height, although since I carry my weight in my legs most people wouldn’t say that about me. I stuck at sports and even after eating a healthy diet and exercising for 5 years I didn’t lose weight. I was at my wits end despite the fact that I have an identical twin who is the same size- apparently it’s just the genetics.
While I was pregnant I learned how awesome my body is and I didn’t even care about the extra 30 pounds that I gained. I felt awesome. I had a great easy birth and now at 6.5 months PP I’m 10 pounds lighter than I have been for the last 10 years. I don’t know how…or why…but it’s great. I learned to appreciate my body and it’s rewarding me; I’ll just think of it that way
Even if I hadn’t lost the weight I would still have a healthier body image than I did before I was pregnant.
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I agree, accept it and just don’t wear that tank top ever again. At least if the 3 year old has the camera again!!
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So before I got my positive test, I was running around New York looking and feeling hotter than I’ve felt in a LOOOOOONG time. I got some new clothes that make me look all skinny and shit, and the husband talked nonstop about how bodacious I was looking.
And now, it’s all going to the birds. I got to enjoy my pre-pregnancy hotness for about 2 days. Now it’s right back to weight gain and flabby tummy. Yaaaaayyyy. yy. yy. ugh.
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Melodie Reply:
August 11th, 2010 at 11:55 pm
There should be a special part of the closet just for clothes for women who get pregnant. Can we patent something for that??
Melodie´s last [type] ..No- I’m Not Pregnant
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The middle-aged middle is an artifact of Western diet and lifestyle. It’s certainly not an unavoidable part of human aging.
http://wholehealthsource.blogs.....esity.html
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Oh gosh, that would be kind of mortifying. Here I am huge and people didn’t know I was pregnant, just thought I was extremely fat.
Oh well. I really like the shirt though. Maybe there is an alternative.
Anjanette/MommaYoung´s last [type] ..Help your local schools with Safeway’s Back-to-School 2 Ways 2 Save
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this has happened to me a lot – often the person asking feels worse. I am not quite where you are with body image – I am working on it. It is so wonderful that you shared this – it helps!
Oh, and I never ever under any circumstances ask if someone is pregnant or when they are due without prior verification! ;O)
Christy´s last [type] ..Eggplant Sandwiches and Pepper Fries
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Melodie Reply:
August 11th, 2010 at 11:54 pm
I know what you mean Christy. I don’t think people should ever ask unless they know for sure. It’s mortifying for both parties.
Melodie´s last [type] ..No- I’m Not Pregnant
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sara Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
I agree with this, although when I was pregnant I wished that more people would ask me! I carried really small and didn’t start getting comments from people until 8 months in..Next time I’m getting one of those t-shirts that says “does this baby make my butt look big?” haha
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i am at the good stage. i am just waiting for the i can buy clothes again stage. i wonder if there is a mom out there who can actually keep their clothes clean for more than a few minutes. plus, i am not quite sure we are done with the bump stage yet….maybe one more little one in the future.
please stop by and enter the envirosax’s giveaway. and check out my shoppe. http://www.melondot.etsy.com
sarah´s last [type] ..10 things i love sunday
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I’m not pregnant, either. But I will say that after having BEEN pregnant twice, anytime that I eat too much I look pregnant. I blame the stretched-out stomach muscles. They don’t hold it in like they used to, so even though I don’t weigh more than I did when I got pregnant the first time I often look about 5 months along.
I don’t enjoy that, I’ll admit it. But I do enjoy that I have these amazing children, so it’s a trade-off I’m willing to make. Mostly.
Amber´s last [type] ..Great Baby Reads
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I feel the same way. I lost all the baby weight breastfeeding, and even more, but I’ve put on some extra pounds (maybe 5) in the last 6 month. My eating didn’t change, and it bothers me, but nowhere near as it would have years ago.
I wrote a posts about this a while back:
http://dagmarbleasdale.com/200.....rcise-fan/
Dagmar
Dagmar’s momsense
Dagmar Bleasdale´s last [type] ..Not Me! Monday — Shit- Hail and Pirates
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I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, too. I weigh more than you (and am shorter), but I guess I should be thankful mine’s all spread out so people know I’m just fat. Wait, is that a good thing?
I’ve been kind of wanting to lose weight lately and kind of just unable to muster up the kind of self-loathing that kept me dieting through my teens and into my 20s. (Another failed eating disorder-er here!) I just … like myself more now. Ah, well, I guess that’s an OK problem to have.
Lauren @ HoboMama´s last [type] ..Hobo Mama calling cards- Surprise giveaway!
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Melodie Reply:
August 11th, 2010 at 11:53 pm
It’s a hard thing to muster up the motivation to do. I know that for sure. And diets suck. Eating healthy is the way to go. Liking yourself and eating healthy is even better, but liking yourself is just as good even if you never lose the weight. I think that’s where I am right now.
Melodie´s last [type] ..No- I’m Not Pregnant
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I agree with Amber-I think we can blame the stretched out tummy muscles for at least some of it. I’m about 15 pounds lighter than I was before I got pregnant, but still can’t wear some of my old clothes, because I seem to be a different shape, not just size. It’s sort of frustrating at times. I am eating healthy, exercising a lot (a.k.a. babywearing while walking all over the place!) so I know I’m not just fat, but my tummy has that same issue as yours when I wear the wrong tee. PS does your c-section scar make a funny fold too? Mine does, but I’ve only had it a year…
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Melodie Reply:
August 11th, 2010 at 11:51 pm
No, mine didn’t do anything like that. I’ve seen others that have though so know that it is normal. Just for some reason I didn’t get that.
Melodie´s last [type] ..No- I’m Not Pregnant
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I have never obsessed about my body. Okay, maybe for a bit when I was just becoming a teenager, but who didn’t! Since then I’ve loved my body, flat chest and all. I gained 75+ pounds when I got pregnant. I lost all but 10 pounds breastfeeding.
Lately, my body has become a agonizing, distressing, tormenting image in my closet mirror. I love my breastfeeding boobs. They fit in clothes! Do i have to give them back? Despite being bigger, they don’t stick out as far as my stomach.
The first 20 months after my son was born I had my head held high while my little belly proudly said “I am a mama”. Now, it says, “ask me if I’m pregnant again.”
Am I getting a disoriented? Yep. In the morning I look at myself sideways in the mirror. I spent a weekend trying on clothes in my closet (that all fit nicely) and deciding that I can only wear certain things so that I never “show off” my belly again.
This is NOT me. I am working on kicking this regression into my teen years. People should be looking at my beautiful, bewitching, hazel eyes not my bubble.
I do have to say that I have noticed that the bubble fluctuates in size due to eating a meal, consuming gassy foods, or period / ovulation.
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There should be special mirrors on the closet!
katy´s last [type] ..How to sneak into cupboards
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I have been frustrated lately, expecting all my pre-pregancy weight to melt off while I eat whatever I want — what with the tandem nursing and working out and all, you’d think I could have all the ice cream I want — but noooooooo. Those pounds linger, they do, and I’m one dress size up. Oh well, I comfort myself with the fact that I’m fitter than ever anyway. Just the other day I noticed how effortlessly I lugged three sleeping babies up a gianormous hill (one in the ergo, two in the jogger). When I got to the top I suddenly remembered how hard I used to find that hill to climb! Ha ha hill!
Betsy´s last [type] ..World Breastfeeding Week
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katy Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 12:18 am
Being fitter if far better than shedding the pounds. Sounds like you rocked that hill! Amazing, Betsy!
katy´s last [type] ..How to sneak into cupboards
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Whooo hooo mel baby! this is an AWESOME post! I forget you are as tall as my mom! Seriously, as a gal who fought her weight for a lot of years only to finally realize i was much healthier when my body decided what was best for me as LONG as I was eating nutrient dense foods most of the time, I dont sweat the 25 percent…and while I walk away from women complaining about their insignificant belly rolls while torturing their bodies into submission with low fat fair, I do know that I am feeling much better, feeling much more alive, feeling much more powerful because I am not there constantly obsessing with them! It comes with age, it comes with wisdom, but hopefully it comes–that women are meant to have a bit of meat on their bones, and your beauty is not just skin deep! Big hugs! You beatiful wonderful goddess of a woman! Remember, in another age, that round belly was the sexiest thing out! Just look at all the goddess statues!
Alex
alex@a moderate life´s last [type] ..Trader Joe’s…Real Food Finds and Failures-Part Two
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