An Emotional Day

Today was an emotional one for me. It’s partly due to the fact that I am PMS-ing, but a number of today’s events have had me on the edge of tears all day.

The day began with new dance classes for the girls. My youngest ran into her classroom without so much as a glance back. I loved watching her unabashed enthusiasm and confidence. “That’s my girl,” I thought, so proud and so happy that she was happy. Plus, she and all the other 3 and 4 year olds were damn adorable. My oldest’s reaction was nothing short of confusing. She handled it when I left with only minimal protest and was all smiles when it was over. Then 10 minutes later her face suddenly fell and she told me that she’d changed her mind and didn’t like it and didn’t want to come back. Déja vû all over again.

Nevermind though. We were headed to the Vancouver Island Baby Fair to see Bobs and Lolo! When they came out on stage, lo and behold, my oldest, the reluctant dancer, was the first one up dancing. “Who is that girl?” I thought to myself, so proud and happy that she was happy. And really, I haven’t seen her that confident and happy in a long time. In fact, I was close to tears for the entire concert just watching her. Confused, proud, and in love with my children. And after it was over she didn’t tell me she’d changed her mind and didn’t like it. Bobs and Lolo gave her a high five and she was walking on cloud nine.

Then if I wasn’t already choked up enough recalling the lyrics of “Little Seed” (that only a PMSing woman or pregnant mom would cry about), I found the vendor I most wanted to see. Adriana of Mamamor who handcrafts birthing and breastfeeding dolls. These dolls can be pregnant, give birth, and breastfeed their babies. Attached to each baby is an umbilical cord and placenta. They are amazing. I really wanted to get one of these for my girls to share as a memento of our years of breastfeeding together. I wanted it to be a weaning gift for my youngest (for when she actually weans – who know when that will be). I wanted it to be an heirloom. But they couldn’t agree on which doll they wanted, and so after much thought, I decided to get them their own. After all, my breastfeeding relationship with each daughter has been separate (minus the 5 months of tandem nursing) and unique in its own right. And now they will have something that maybe they can pass down to their daughters. Making the decision to get each their own, thinking about my breastfeeding relationship with each of them and looking to the future when it will be over for good totally gave me a big lump in my throat. And no, I didn’t get one for free or even at a discount to say this. I bought two of her dolls with my own money. And for an item like this I don’t think I would have it any other way. The fact that each daughter connected with and chose her own doll, and that I and no one else bought them, was actually really important to me.

credit: Mamamor Facebook page (Adriana with her dolls at the Vancouver Island Baby Fair)

Because I love this woman’s work I wanted to pass on to you her info. Her Facebook Fan page is here. Her Etsy shop is here. Her website full of gorgeous photos is here. Her blog is here. She tells me she is getting busy with Christmas coming up so if you are interested in a doll, you need to get orders in soon. She does pre-made and custom doll orders. Oh yes, and if you’re local, she’ll be at the Vancouver Island Baby Fair tomorrow (September 26th) too.

credit: Mamamor Etsy shop

More on breastfeeding at the Vancouver Island Baby Fair. We ended up being there at my nursling’s witching hour. Instead of a nap in the middle of the afternoon, she nurses. Since we were at the Very Breastfeeding Friendly Baby Fair I thought I would check out the Feeding Area to nurse her. The couches were placed in such a way that all of the mom and baby feeding duos were visible. And guess what? There were at least 12 moms and every single one of them was nursing!!! I was the only one nursing an older child (no surprise there), but there was one other mom, who I noticed chose to sit next to me, who was nursing a toddler. So yay for that! I was so stoked to see such high numbers.

So if that wasn’t enough blubbery fun for one day, after dinner we went to the lantern festival. I haven’t gone to this community event since before my girls were born when I used to live here, so it was pretty special to share it with them. As usual, the display lanterns were fabulous. The community walked on a trail along the ocean in the dark, handmade lanterns illuminating this magical night. At set points were fire dancers, drummers, belly dancers and bag pipes.

And after all that fun today my girls were done. My youngest cried all the way back to the car, through her snack (she was starving), her pajamas, and teeth brushing, until finally finding comfort and relief in her milkies nestled under her bed covers. For the first time in months she fell asleep at my breast. Next to her I lay her new doll with a headband like her mama wears, the baby doll nursing in her mommy doll’s cloth arms.

It’s good to be home.

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Tags: breastfeeding dolls, Mamamor, Vancouver Island Baby Fair