Welcome to the November Carnival of Natural Parenting: What Is Natural Parenting?
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our Carnival coincides with the launch of Natural Parents Network, a community of parents and parents-to-be who practice or are interested in attachment parenting and natural family living. Join us at Natural Parents Network to be informed, empowered, and inspired!
Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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There are a lot of things that encompass natural parenting that resonate deeply with me, but none quite so much as embracing real food. My reason why is simple. It is a natural extension of breastfeeding. It is what our bodies were designed to eat because it is what nature intended for us to eat.
Real Food is Natural
When we are born our bodies are designed to drink breast milk for at least six months exclusively, and then with the addition of solid foods; at least until the age of one, but up to age two and beyond as long as mom and child desire.
The first solids we offer our babies are fruits, vegetables and rice cereal. These are all whole foods. (I have my opinions about rice cereal – you can read them here.) As they get older we feed them pieces of soft meats (or as I chose, soft lentils and beans and hard boiled egg yolk) and expand their selection of fruits, vegetables and grains. As new moms who want to do the very best for our children, we ensure that their first year is full of nutritious options.
However, a part of knowing what solids to feed our babies comes from seeing what is available on grocery store shelves. Alarmingly, to me, in the past few years new processed baby food products have emerged that are marketed as snacks but can easily become a replacement for real food at meal times for picky eaters. So long puréed squash with no added ingredients, hello edible food-like rice rusks and strawberry banana puffs with added sugar.
Just like formula companies know how to market to families to make them think their product is a normal and healthy food, so too do most other food companies. It is easy to find oneself in the middle of the grocery store being bombarded on both sides by foods claiming to be healthy. The trick to knowing what’s best and what to avoid? Try sticking to the outer aisles. That’s where all of the fresh produce, dairy, meats and often the oils and vinegars and bulk sections with grains and dried fruits and nuts are.
Somewhere down the line, maybe when they’re one or two, maybe later (or maybe never), our babies get their first taste of sugar and/or salt. If we aren’t careful with our grocery selections we can easily wind up with picky kids who refuse the healthy stuff once they know there are better tasting alternatives.
Finding Balance in The Real World
I wish I could tell you I am one of those real foodie, health nut moms whose children only ever eat whole foods, but I’m not. While I embrace whole foods as much as possible, my kids love Cheerios and Annie’s pasta. Once a week or so they get ice cream for a treat (and it isn’t homemade). I recently bought Girl Guide cookies and before the two boxes were empty, each of my girls had about eight of them. But, like a commenter recently told me about her own family, we too try to follow the 80/20 rule. If 80% of the time we can eat healthy whole foods and 20% of the time we eat more processed kind of foods, like Annie’s pasta or a frozen pizza, then we’re actually not doing too badly.
I grew up in a household where dinners almost always consisted of a piece of meat, potatoes or rice and steamed vegetables. Nowadays, my dinners don’t look like that because we’re a vegetarian household, but my mom and grandma lay down the foundation. At the end of the day, our philosophies are quite similar. Eat nourishing, healthy, whole foods prepared with love.
Children Learn What They Live
I embrace whole, real foods as much as possible because I want my children to grow up understanding why food is important and what it does inside their bodies. I want them to be able to distinguish a whole food from a processed food and know that whole foods are better. I want to take them to farms and grow our own garden and have them understand that this is where food comes from. And yes, sometimes it also comes from machines and laboratories but the food that’s good for us is the kind you can make yourself. The kind that is traditional. Eventually they will also learn the impact certain foods have on our environment. And in choosing their foods mindfully they will grow up to be responsible stewards of our Earth. And if I can raise my children to be those people, I think I’ve done well to embrace one of the best parts of natural parenting.
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Stop by Natural Parents Network today to see excerpts from everyone’s posts, and please visit a few to read more! Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants. Three of the participants below will instead be featured on Natural Parents Network throughout the month, so check back at NPN!
This list will be updated by afternoon November 9 with all the carnival links. We’ve arranged it this month according to the categories of our NPN resource pages on “What Is Natural Parenting?”
Attachment/Responsive Parenting
Attachment/responsive parenting is generally considered to include the following (descriptions/lists are not exhaustive; please follow each link to learn more):
- PREPARE FOR PREGNANCY, BIRTH, AND PARENTING:
- “Preparing for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting” — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes knows better now how to prepare for her second baby, focusing on attachment rather than nursery curtains. Watch for her post, which will be featured on Natural Parents Network on Tuesday, November 23. (@sheryljesin)
- “Begin at the Beginning” — Alison at BluebirdMama examines the first type of natural parenting she experienced: birthing at home. (@BluebirdMama)
- FEED WITH LOVE AND RESPECT:
- “Going With the {Tandem Milk} Flow” — Despite being told she would never be able to nurse her toddler through pregnancy, Jessika at Job Description: Mommy successfully nursed through her entire pregnancy, and she continues tandem nursing her two little ones fifteen months later! (@JobDescMommy)
- “Breastfeeding with Love and Respect” — Resisting the pressure to give up, breastfeeding was the way Dionna at NursingFreedom.org persisted in nourishing her son. (@NursingFreedom)
- “Why Should I Call It Extended?” — Amy at Toddler In Tow provides scientifically based research to support child-led weaning.
- RESPOND WITH SENSITIVITY:
- “Attachment Parenting Chose Us” — For a child who is born “sensitive,” attachment parenting is more a way of life than a parenting “choice.” Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares her experiences. (@CodeNameMama)
- “Parenting in the Present” — Acacia at Be Present Mama parents naturally by being fully present.
- “Parenting With Heart” — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment parents naturally because healthy attachments early in life help our little ones grow into healthy, functioning adults.
- USE NURTURING TOUCH:
- “Nurturing through touch” — Lauren at Hobo Mama finds that loving touch is a thread that runs through all her natural parenting practices. (@Hobo_Mama)
- ENSURE SAFE SLEEP:
- “Sometimes I Wish We Coslept” — Sheila at A Gift Universe has started to add cosleeping into her sleep routines and has found frequently unspoken benefits. Watch for her post, which will be featured on Natural Parents Network on Tuesday, November 30. (@agiftuniverse)
- PROVIDE CONSISTENT AND LOVING CARE:
- “Attachment Parenting . . . and Nanny Makes Three?” — When Jen at Grow with Graces first started interviewing nannies, she was looking for practicalities. After a few months with her first nanny, she’s going to hire someone new, and this time, she’ll make sure the nanny believes in AP principles. (@growwithgraces)
- “Do You Have This?” — For Rachael at The Variegated Life, natural parenting is about love and giving, rather than the alienation and longing present in so many in our Western culture. (@RachaelNevins)
- “What Natural Parenting Looks Like in Our Family” — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker shares what natural parenting is like as your little ones grow up.
- PRACTICE GENTLE/POSITIVE DISCIPLINE:
- “Unconditional Parenting” — The philosophy of Alfie Kohn resonates with Erin at Multiple Musings, who does not want to parent (or teach) using rewards and punishment. (@ErinLittle)
- STRIVE FOR BALANCE IN PERSONAL AND FAMILY LIFE:
- “Reducing Screen Time” — How does Mrs. H. at Fleeting Moments meaningfully connect with her kids every day? She turns off the TV.
- Also see our October Carnival all about finding balance!
Ecological Responsibility and Love of Nature
- “Healing Through Elimination Communication Part 1” — Amy at Innate Parenting explains how practicing elimination communication has helped her whole family gain awareness and healing in many areas of their lives. (@InnateWholeness)
- “Growing Out of Little Potties” — Stacy at Mama-Om is proud to be the “weird lady” who practices elimination communication with her babies. (@mama_om)
- “Let’s Talk Diapers” — Lindsey at Mama Cum Laude started using cloth diapers because she felt they were a safer choice for her child; she stuck with them because they are convenient.
Holistic Health Practices
- “Supporting Natural Immunity” — If you have decided against the traditional vaccination schedule, Starr at Earth Mama has some helpful tips for strengthening your children’s immune systems naturally.
Natural Learning
- “Acceptance as a Key to Natural Parenting” — Because Mrs. Green at Little Green Blog values accepting and responding to her daughter’s needs, she was able to unravel the mystery of her daughter’s learning “challenges.” (@myzerowaste)
- “Let Them Look” — Betsy at Honest 2 Betsy makes time to look at, to touch, and to drool on the pinecones.
- “Why I Love Unschooling” — Unschooling isn’t just about learning for Darcel at The Mahogany Way — it is a way of life. (@MahoganyWayMama)
- “Is He Already Behind?“Ever worry that your baby or toddler is behind the curve? Danielle at born.in.japan will reassure you about the many ways your little one is learning — naturally — every day. Watch for her post, which will be featured on Natural Parents Network on Tuesday, November 16. (@borninjp)
- “How to Help Your Child through Natural Learning” — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now offers tips on how to understand and nurture your child’s natural learning style. (@DebChitwood)
Healthy Living
- “What ‘Healthy Eating’ Means to Me” — Wonder how a family of five makes healthy eating a priority? Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares some common sense tips. (@sunfrog)
- “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom)
Parenting Philosophies
- “Natural Parenting — Lazy Parenting” — To Olivia at Write About Birth, natural parenting isn’t about a fixed set of ideals, but about what is instinctual. (@writeaboutbirth)
- “I’m not the most crunchy, but I’m still au naturel” — Jessica at This is Worthwhile follows her gut and parents with respect, and that’s what feels natural to her. (@tisworthwhile)
- “Because Natural comes Naturally” — Breastfeeding, babywearing, cosleeping — Bess at mommakesmilk does these things because they feel right. (@MumtoEve)
- “What Do You Mean ‘Natural Parenting’?” — Luschka at Diary of a First Child fell into natural parenting by listening to her baby and her own instincts. (@lvano)
- “One Little Change at a Time” — Ashley at Domestic Chaos made one small change at a time until “natural parenting” wasn’t a punchline, but a way of life. (@ashleympoland)
- “WHY Attachment Parenting?” — While they might take some work to put into practice, Momma Jorje at A Slightly Crunchy Momma finds that all of the tenets of attachment parenting fit her family.
- “Yours, Respectfully” — For Kellie at Our Mindful Life, natural parenting is about being respectful: to yourself, your children, and your surroundings.
- “The Natural Parenting Label” — Michelle at The Parent Vortex explains that natural parenting is a mindset, not a set of specific choices or a few fancy acronyms. (@TheParentVortex)
- “When Our Children Are Grown” — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children parents naturally, because she is building a firm foundation for her children.
- “What is Natural Parenting to a Witch Mom?” — Lily at Witch Mom has planned out what she wants for her son, from health to socialization to interactions with the natural world. (@lilyshahar)
- “Attachment Parenting and Our Family” — Semi-crunchy Mama at Adventures in Mommyhood takes us through the way the Baby Bs have transformed their family of four. (@crunchymamato2)
- “I’m a Mama…Naturally” — Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. didn’t intend to parent naturally, but it happened by instinct.
Political and Social Activism
- “A Private Matter” — Amy at Anktangle, who is a Registered Nurse, describes her encounters with circumcision in a medical environment and why they guided her decision to leave her own baby boy intact. (@anktangle)
- “Natural Parenting, Following Our Instincts, and Keeping Our Son Intact” — Kelly at KellyNaturally went against the tide and refused to circumcise her son. (@kellynaturally)
- “Relying on Kindness” — Sure, Navelgazing Bajan at Navelgazing wants her son to be kind — but kindness is not enough. (@BlkWmnDoBF)
Also shared at Fight Back Friday at Food Renegade and Food On Friday at Ann Kroeker..
All right, you’ve inspired me to try harder!
You’re so right that the baby foods are being edged out by baby snacks — and even the baby foods aren’t necessary, since you can give your baby the whole foods you’re already eating (if you are!). Thanks for continuing to share your passion for good food with us.
Lauren @ HoboMama´s last [type] ..November Carnival of Natural Parenting- Nurturing through touch
Melodie Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 6:20 pm
It was an interesting thing for me to realize even just as I was writing the post.
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]
hey melodie! i’m with you on the whole foods concept and I agree that there are all sorts of new processed baby food products e.g. organic/homemade baby foods – i’m on the fence on this one though – those made by smaller companies – oh baby, sprout, happy baby – how do they stack up?
Jenny´s last [type] ..Operation Foster Milk and Eats on Feets Philippines
[...] foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. From “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food“: I embrace whole, real foods as much as possible because I want my children to grow up [...]
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]
I’m just getting into the “real food” concept, although I suspect that it has always been a part of my consciousness. I, too, grew up eating balanced meals at home- we almost never went out for dinner, since we lived in the country. I never have enjoyed fast or processed food and generally prefer to make most of my food using simple ingredients. I’m about to start getting raw milk, though, and I’m trying harder to convert my husband to a real food diet. I have noticed since my daughter was born (9 months ago) that I have been getting sick more often, so I suspect that I’m not getting enough nutrients to feed her and keep myself healthy. I hope that a more nutritious diet will help me with that!
Melodie Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 8:07 pm
I am sure it will help anyway. My husband is a tough one to convert too. He does love real whole foods but he admittedly gets lazy and does what is convenient. We are going to start drinking raw milk in the New Year too. I can’t wait!
“It is a natural extension of breastfeeding.” I never thought of real food in this way, very thought provoking! (Also, love the pic of your little one with kale – one of my favorite veggies!) I was also brought up with balanced family meals and also hope to pass this on to my children. Ella has been exposed to lots of different fruits and veggies (you can read about our food views at http://ellabeanandco.blogspot......i-eat.html), even so she has become a bit of a discriminating eater, but not for sweets or processed food, but for frozen blueberries and steamed asparagus!
Andrea!!!´s last [type] ..Im a mamanaturally
Melodie Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Yum! That is so awesome that Ella enjoys her fruits and veggies, and asparagus isn’t one of the more common veggies kids eat so congrats on that one! I always thought it was cool that my daughter enjoyed eggplant when she was about one year old. Now she won’t touch it as a six year old but I did lay the foundation. I hope she will return to enjoying it again one day.
Melodie Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 8:12 pm
I just re-read that post, and your right about the never ending journey that eating healthy whole foods is. I am constantly learning new and better ways to cook and eat.
No matter the foodie trend out there with superfoods, organics, etc. REAL WHOLE foods is the cornerstone of good health. Great job, mama!
What a wonderful way to extend one of the main reasons many of us breastfeed. I’ve never really connected healthy eating as a logical extension of breastfeeding, they were two separate entities in my mind. But I love that you’ve made it a continuation of giving our children the best. Thanks for sharing, Melodie!
Dionna @ Code Name: Mama´s last [type] ..Attachment Parenting Chose Us- November Carnival of Natural Parenting
Over the last few years I’ve been more conscious about what I buy at the grocery store. This is not to say that we never eat processed food at home but not as much as we used to. My latest challenge to get my son to eat any solid food at all, but once he does I hope I’m laying a good nutritional foundation for his lifetime food choices.
NavelgazingBajan´s last [type] ..Relying on Kindness
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]
Great post, Melodie! Some of the processed baby snacks available are organic and seem harmless, but for someone like my son who is super thin (like Dad) and tall and has a meager appetite, I have to pack as much punch nutritionally into every bite. He needs nutrient dense foods and a rice cake aint cutting it. If I give him even a homemade muffin or give him one for a snack when we are out, he won’t eat his lunch or much of his dinner. Whole foods are so important!
Pure Mothers´s last [type] ..Earth Day Exploration
Melodie Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 7:44 pm
I think nutrient dense foods are always important. Not only are some snacks like puffs and rice cakes less filling they are also bland. I would rather give my child a flavourful food to vary their taste buds than something that will likely contribute to picky eating. Tanks for your comment Deborah!
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]
I love that 80/20 idea. It’s a great rule of thumb! I’m definitely not an all-or-nothing parent and it’s good to come to peace with not being perfect.
Melodie Reply:
November 9th, 2010 at 8:12 pm
The 80/20 rule certainly helps me take it easy on myself too.
My little baby, who has two older non-biological siblings, had her first lollipop at age 15 months. The result of a kind big brother willing to share… I always thought I’d be one of those parents who didn’t have sugar in the house. But alas, it was not to be… She was able to say the word for it after her second one, a week later.
MrsH´s last [type] ..Week One without the Experts
Timely! Our little guy is 9 months, and we are doing a sort-of baby-led weaning with him, which mainly means that we skip over the mush. But that means he’s in that stage where we have to be very careful what we offer him because his chewing is still developing. It’s sooo easy to offer a rice rusk…. you’ve reminded me of my resolve to offer mainly real foods!
Melodie Reply:
November 12th, 2010 at 12:59 am
I am glad I could help. Those rice rusks are just so easy, aren’t they?
Yes, yes, yes! Thank you for writing on the value of real food. It’s so simple, yet often overlooked
Amy´s last [type] ..11-11 New Reality Sessions
Yes…. food. Not my strong point. But I didn’t grow up in a house where we had the ‘three square meals a day’ thing, so I try, but it’s a struggle. Baby led weaning has changed a lot of our diet as we have become aware of what we put in to Kyra’s little body and that has been a driving motivator for us. Great post Melodie!
Luschka @ Diary of a First Child´s last [type] ..What Do You Mean ‘Natural Parenting’
I always love to read your thoughts about food-sometimes I get intimidated by foodie websites, since I’m from the kind of family that thought Velveeta=real cheese and made spaghetti sauce out of ketchup (although we did eat lots of grilled meat and from-scratch desserts, lol-you know, all the unhealthy realish foods). I’ve been inspired by you to really try to do better for my family. We still eat junk occasionally, but the fresh veggies & real foods are creeping in more & more
Maman A Droit´s last [type] ..Would You Befriend a BigMouth
Melodie Reply:
November 12th, 2010 at 12:59 am
I get intimidated by those websites too. I used to think I was such the foodie but now that I’ve had a taste (no pun intended) of a number of food sites, I honestly don’t think I should be able to call myself that. I just really like to cook and eat healthy food. Everyone learns and grows at their own pace. Any and all changes you make to your family’s diet is positive. Give yourself a pat on the back. Bye bye ketchup on spaghetti and hello tomato sauce. Small steps girlfriend.
Nice post, Melodie. I, too, believe that embracing real food and sharing that with my daughter is one of the most important things I can do as a parent.
You’ve also inspired me to get moving on a post I’ve had in progress for a very long time, a thorough look at how/why we make the food choices we do. Time to finally finish it!
Christina @ Spoonfed´s last [type] ..Forget Happy Meal toys Let’s ban McEducation
Oh, gosh, I love the 80/20 idea. I don’t know if we’re quite there, but that’s certainly an achievable goal. How do you measure your actual food choices against these percentages, or do you go by feel?
Rachael´s last [type] ..Where Has the Week Gone
I aim for 80/20 – it isn’t easy, I didn’t start down the healthy, real food path until most of my children were in there teens and have their taste buds set. I do my best – but we do have frozen pizza on occasion (gasp!) among other very unREAL meals. I wish I had known all the great information about natural parenting when I had my babies – I would have done lots of things differently.
Christy´s last [type] ..Cream of Mushroom Soup
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]
[...] “What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food” — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom) [...]