Dear Santa,
I hope this won’t be too late in getting to you, but I thought I would try anyway.
So you might be wondering why I am writing to you since a) I’m 36 and b) we’ve had a fortunate year and don’t really need anything right now. I know that people mostly write to you in the name of “this year I want” and “please bring me such and such,” but this letter is a bit different. You see, I am not writing for me, but instead for my oldest daughter.
Physically, she looks like all the other children, but socially she has a difficult time.
For Christmas I would like you to bring my daughter courage. Courage to overcome her shyness and say hello to someone, to reach out and invite someone to play and then more courage to actually play with them. I would like you to bring her a friend. One who will see the fun and loving child she is and grow to know her and love her and give her the confidence she lacks and the friendship she longs for. I also hope you might have a little room in your sack for some patience for me as I strive for the balance between helping her make friends and giving her space to learn how to do it herself.
I am so glad she has her little sister and I am grateful for how much they love each other and play well together, but whereas her sister has the skills and drive to make friends, she herself does not, and it breaks my heart to see her falter in her words in response to a mere “hello” from another child, let alone initiate a “hello.” On second thought please bring me some courage of my own to stay strong for her and for my own self when I am falling apart inside.
I saw a very similar letter that another mother wrote to you that wound up in the Globe and Mail last week, and I thought that maybe you were granting these kinds of wishes this year and perhaps I could request my wish before you ran out of prospects. Since I got my Vita-Mix last month I really don’t need anything else.
The girls will leave you some cookies and some water for you and the reindeer just in case you may have become lactose intolerant over the years but are too polite to say so.
Thank you very much Santa.
Sincerely,
Melodie
photo credit: johnnyberg
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Aw, this one is tough. So tough.
I hope that Santa comes through for you.
Amber´s last [type] ..Crafting “Me”
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Mrs Green @ littlegreenblog.com Reply:
December 24th, 2010 at 4:11 am
what a beautiful and touching post. I hope Santa brings a little magic into your home
You know what I’ve learned through having a DD who gets bullied? Often they have FAR better coping strategies than we do. While I’m crying and my heart is breaking, my beautiful girl is talking to her angels and being philosophical about the whole episode. She remembers that the bully is hurting and scared when I often forget…
bright blessings to you and your family sweet mama
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Melodie Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 10:20 pm
That s really good to know. She isn’t being bullied yet but I worry that she will be when she gets a bit older. I was teased as a kid and it slid right off my back. (I got teased about being tall). Maybe she’s got tough skin too but we just haven’t had the chance to witness it yet. Argh, parenthood is hard!
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ah, little one. much love to you and your momma as you navigate the social part of life…
I hope Santa comes through, too.
xo
Melissa´s last [type] ..PreChristmas Christmas
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It’s hard sometimes, isn’t it? My oldest just turned 9 and I keep telling myself that he is a big boy now — I have to let go just a little.
I hope you get what you ask for.
Amanda
P.S. We leave soy milk for Santa just in case he’s allergic!
FamilyNature´s last [type] ..It’s the Why
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Melodie Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 10:21 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only one!
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Thanks for sharing and Happy Holidays.
Chaya´s last [type] ..Lets Do Lunch- Breakfast and Brunch 8
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My heart goes out to your daughter. I, too, was a shy little one, and it was so tough for a long time. Eventually, though, all the other social awkwards and I found each other via concert choir and drama club and art class and so on. I hope that Santa brings her something similar, and soon.
Merry Christmas to you and yours! xox
Rachael´s last [type] ..Merry Christmas!
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Melodie Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 10:25 pm
Thanks Rachael. A lot of people say she will get less shy as she gets older. I hope so. It’s tough standing off to the side as her mom and seeing her struggle though. It helps to hear of other people’s stories. A friend I was visiting with today whom I have known since we were 12 told me that he has always been shy (I knew that) and still is (I know that too) and he is just fine being who he is and that some people don’t have the same desperate need to have lots of friends. He just has a few (me being one of them) and that’s all he needs. It put things in perspective for me. She’ll go one of either ways I guess. Thanks for sharing how you were with me too.
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Wishing you the happiest of holidays Melodie! I’ll put in a good note with Santa for your daughter too. Thank you for pointing me to the article in the Globe and Mail. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face as I read it. It makes me think of all of the “non-thing things” I’d like to write to Santa about too…maybe I will!
Judy @MommyNews Blog´s last [type] ..Wishing You A Very Merry…
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Melodie Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Wasn’t that a beautiful article Judy? I knew I had to write something about it if not do a letter of my own. Glad it resonated with you. Did you end up writing to Santa too?
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Just stopped by to say Merry Christmas
Colleen
Shibley Smiles
Colleen Shibley´s last [type] ..Merry Christmas from All the Shibley Smiles
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With a heart like yours, I’m sure Santa was listening…
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Melodie Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Aw, thanks Jenn.
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Guess what? I was such a shy little girl.
My parents bought a book called “Leo the late bloomer” about a shy lion to read to me, and quietly worried about me. I was much more interested in books than making friends, and usually didn’t have many (but the few I had were good ones).
By middle school, I was such a chatterbox that my parents joked that I never stopped talking!
Of course some people stay quiet, and your daughter may be one of them. But I certainly wouldn’t worry yet! One thing that I think really did help me was to read stories with courageous girls as heroines. You can only be so shy when you’re trying to be like Pollyanna and Heidi and Jo from Little Women!
Maman A Droit´s last [type] ..VBAC Links Needed Please!
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Maman A Droit Reply:
December 29th, 2010 at 9:29 pm
Oh Nancy Drew is a good one too-talk about a brave girl! And historical women like Betsy Ross and Florence Nightingale!
Maman A Droit´s last [type] ..VBAC Links Needed Please!
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Oh, I hope you get your Christmas wish. I’m sure you will.
We just read the chapter book “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” by Frank L. Baum. It is wonderful. I bet your daughter would love it.
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