Breastfeeding has been a gift, not only to me and my daughters, but to my greater community. I look at it this way. Every time someone sees me breastfeeding I plant a seed. Every time I blog about breastfeeding and a new reader comes across my blog, I water the seed. Eventually, there are blossoms that are nursing mothers everywhere, being noticed by men and women, grandparents and children. Frequently people pass us by, but every once in awhile someone comes along and plucks our breastfeeding blossom and takes it home with them, framing us in their minds, being inspired and encouraged by our actions to do the same. Moms like me and including me are helping to normalize breastfeeding for generations to come.

I’m proud of the fact I am raising daughters who will likely breastfeed. I am proud that I have given them both such a great start in life and have used breastfeeding as a parenting tool to ease their many transitions through early childhood. We have a book called The Best Gifts by Marsha Forchuk Skrypuch. It is a book about how the best gifts are not the ones that are bought but the ones that are given from the heart, a person’s time and love. It begins and ends with a mom nursing her baby.

Breastfeeding truly is the best gift. It has been for me as a mom, my kids, and whether they know it or not, for everyone who has ever witnessed it. It truly is a gift that keeps on giving.

Please take time to read the other carnival participant’s blog posts.

The gift of life: Breastfeeding during a time of war at Motherhood Actually

The intangible gifts of breastfeeding at Massachusetts Friends of Midwives

Gift of confidence at Blacktating

The 12 gifts of breastfeeding at Momma’s Angel

A gift I never expected at The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog

Breastfeeding: My baby’s gift to me at The Milk Mama

No related posts.

So what would I write about if I was feeling really superty-duperty Pollyanna-ish? (she says with a scary clown smile)

Well I’d definitely have a kick butt video to share with you for Ameda’s Why I Breastfeed campaign. Regardless of the fact my husband never wanted a video recorder on our computer and our real video camera broke a few years back (thus no vlogging for me!) Even though I won’t be counted, you, like Elita from Blacktating, can still contribute to this charitable campaign that for each 20 second video received will donate $5 to the Human Milk Banking Association of North America.

credit: My Baby Experts

I’d rant and rave about the fact that Shari Criso, the award winning author of the Simply Breastfeeding DVD has a brand new video website that will stream her entire Simply Breastfeeding DVD for FREE during World Breastfeeding Week. If you are unable to afford a breastfeeding class or Shari’s DVD, take advantage of this offer. I reviewed Simply Breastfeeding and highly recommend it to any new or seasoned mom who plans to breastfeed. Shari will help you commit to making it work! *If you know a friend who might benefit from Shari’s free video please share this with them via Facebook or twitter or email.

With World Breastfeeding Week comes concerned mothers who ask “what can I do to help?” Annie at PhD in Parenting has a good post to get you started. First, if you don’t already, start boycotting Nestlé. If you think that no longer buying Häagen-Dazs might ruin your life then you need to head over to her post Why I Boycott Nestlé’s Unethical Business Practices for an overview of how Nestlé ruins other people’s lives and make a full-on switch to Ben & Jerry’s like I did.

What else can you do? Well the theme of World breastfeeding Week this year is Just 10 Steps, the Baby-Friendly Way. If you live in British Columbia like I do, you may be just appalled as I am to learn that we only have two Baby-Friendly designated hospitals in our province. In Quesnel (huh?!) and Vancouver.  All together, in Canada there are only about a dozen hospitals that have this status. So like Best for Babes says, If you are expecting or thinking of starting a family, the single most important thing you can do, long before you go to the hospital or maternity center, give birth at home, or waltz the Ten Steps, is to PREPARE.

That means educate yourself, Prepare for hospital booby traps (most doctors and nurses receive little if any breastfeeding education. See this post and this post for more details), commit to breastfeeding, gather up a supportive network of other breastfeeding moms, friends and family. If you are isolated, that’s okay. There are plenty of places on-line you can turn to. Kelly Mom is my favorite resource, and even if you are calling long distance, there is always a La Leche League leader you can speak to for free about any breastfeeding problems you are having. If you already breastfeed, and if you can, plan to breastfeed a little longer than you intended, or give breastfeeding in public a try. The more often the public sees breastfeeding and/or sees or hears about breastfeeding older children, the more normal it becomes.

So yes, I know it is World Breastfeeding Week and this is my post. The other thing I am doing this week today, which I am pretty proud of myself about, is FINALLY getting around to posting a “Nestlé free zone” image on my site. I wonder how many of my readers were thinking I was a big Stouffer’s fan? …… Yeah right. And as a result of this post I hope your IQ has jumped a few points and that you are now inspired to become the world’s most influential breastfeeding educator. I will now softly creep into my bed in hopes of not disrupting my nursling’s sleep and can pretty much bet you a breastfeeding-friendly chocolate bar that I’ll be nursing my three year old within half an hour.

Happy Breastfeeding Week Breastfeeding Moms!

Related posts:

1. Monday Musings: What Are You Doing For World Breastfeeding Awareness Week?
2. What I’m Doing For World Breastfeeding Awareness Week
3. World Breastfeeding Awareness Week Starts Today

This post was written for inclusion in the NursingFreedom.org. All week, July 5-9, we will be featuring articles and posts about nursing in public (“NIP”). See the bottom of this post for more information.

As of today I have decided that I prefer a smile to a positive comment when nursing in public.

Tonight I was out for dinner and my daughter bonked her head on the table. She was crying pretty hard so I thought it would be best if I took her out of the restaurant so she wouldn’t disrupt any of the other diners. I knew she would want to breastfeed but I had forgotten to bring the car keys with me. I wouldn’t normally think of breastfeeding in the car but it was a chilly evening and I was wearing a sleeveless blouse. Rather than take her back inside, still crying, I spotted a bench in the village square across the street and headed there. It was a quiet evening. There were a couple shops still open but other than the workers inside there was no one around. It looked like a good spot to nurse.

I mostly have stopped nursing in public. My three year old is the height of a tall four year old (she was taller than one of the girls in my other daughter’s kindergarden class), and while I don’t think there’s anything wrong with breastfeeding an older child I do tend to be much more discreet these days. I also don’t want to be on the receiving end of negative comments when my daughter easily would understand what was being said. But when she is hurt I will nurse her wherever I need to to calm and comfort her.

So I’m nursing on the bench in my sleeveless shirt (did I mention I wasn’t wearing a bra?) and I’m kind of exposed breastfeeding from above the top. So I have one arm wrapped around my daughter’s head, smoothing her hair and my other arm covering the part of my breast showing, with my head down so my hair blocks any angle I’ve missed. But you can still tell I’m breastfeeding. At least I think so. Anyway, I see this woman coming towards me and I get that defensive posture (do you know the one I’m talking about?) ready, but I keep my head down. I think I’ve alwasy escaped negative comments with the combination of the I-know-what-I’m-doing-so-don’t-even-think-of-saying-something-disparaging body posture and the I’m-going-to-avoid-eye-contact-so-you don’t-feel-challenged-for-your-personal-opinions head down posture. But as the woman passed I couldn’t help but take a peek at her. Sure enough she was looking at me, and had done a double take just as I would expect of someone seeing a woman breastfeeding an older child, but she was smiling. And it was a genuinely nice approving smile. I felt my shoulders relax immediately.

This got me thinking. If she had approached me and had said,”Wow, that’s just so great that you’re breastfeeding. She’s such a lucky kid,” I would have felt kind of embarrassed I think. Or patronized even. Of course it’s great that I’m breastfeeding. Of course I know I’m giving my child the best start in life. I wouldn’t be breastfeeding out in the open if I didn’t believe that this was true. Especially not my very large pre-schooler!

Even if I was breastfeeding a small baby I wonder if I would appreciate a positive comment or if I would feel slightly uncomfortable that someone had brought attention to me for doing something I already value. I do think positive comments have a place though. Personally, I would feel more comfortable saying something nice to a mother who was using a nursing cover. If last year’s poll results, based on questioning if moms who use a cover nurse for a shorter length of time than moms who don’t, are true, then perhaps my show of support for breastfeeding will help give her the confidence to nurse longer.

But for me, that smile I saw today possibly made me feel better than any comment I could have heard. That smile was literally worth a thousand words.

Don’t choose not to say something supportive to a mom breastfeeding in public if you want to based on my musings, but know that when you don’t want to to say something because you’re shy, or don’t know what to say, or maybe can’t, your smile will count. I guarantee it.

Welcome to the Carnival of Nursing in Public

Please join us all week, July 5-9, as we celebrate and support breastfeeding mothers. And visit NursingFreedom.org any time to connect with other breastfeeding supporters, learn more about your legal right to nurse in public, and read (and contribute!) articles about breastfeeding and N.I.P.

Do you support breastfeeding in public? Grab this badge for your blog or website to show your support and encourage others to educate themselves about the benefits of breastfeeding and the rights of breastfeeding mothers and children.

This post is just one of many being featured as part of the Carnival of Nursing in Public. Please visit our other writers each day of the Carnival. Click on the links below to see each day’s posts – new articles will be posted on the following days:
July 5 – Making Breastfeeding the Norm: Creating a Culture of Breastfeeding in a Hyper-Sexualized World
July 6 – Supporting Breastfeeding Mothers: the New, the Experienced, and the Mothers of More Than One Nursing Child
July 7 – Creating a Supportive Network: Your Stories and Celebrations of N.I.P.
July 8 – Breastfeeding: International and Religious Perspectives
July 9 – Your Legal Right to Nurse in Public, and How to Respond to Anyone Who Questions It

No related posts.

Kate Hansen is a British Columbia artist who after the birth of her son in 2007 was inspired by her own experience of childbirth and motherhood to create art. By 2008, after the birth of her daughter she had also determined that she would accompany a series of mother and child portraits, “The Madonna and Child Series,” with the mother’s birth story.

"Gladys and Elizabeth" by Kate Hansen

Her portraits are done with conte crayon and accented with a gold leaf halo. They were made with reference to portraits of the Virgin Mary with child from the 15th century, as well as an early 20th century revival of the practice by such artists as William Adolphe Bouguereau. She got the idea for the patterned design inside the “Gladys and Elizabeth” portrait from cutting paper snowflakes with her son.

"Krista and Colum" by Kate Hansen

Three of her portraits are of mothers breastfeeding their children. Kate wanted to capture the joy, awe and reverence that surrounds a breastfeeding mother by depicting them in the same fashion as the Mother Mary portraits of the 15th century. Due to the purity and innocence that comes through in her work, it was surprising to her and many others when Facebook removed these works.

"Krizstina and Finbar" by Kate Hansen

Of course, I’m not really surprised by any breastfeeding photos or artwork that Facebook takes down anymore. A woman could be wearing a baby completely covered by a nursing shawl and just say she’s breastfeeding and get her photo taken down and I wouldn’t be a tad bit surprised, but I digress.

She says:

I posted one of them on a figurative artists group on facebook, and was surprised to see that it had been removed on March 27th, 2010. I had already posted two more portraits, and I went ahead and reposted the one in question, thinking it must have been a glitch. My new artwork was removed on March 28th, and then on March 29th the re-posted portrait was removed as well. I reposted all three in a row, as a kind of experiment, and then I received the following letter in by email:

Hello,

You posted an item that violated our Terms of Use, and this item has been removed. Among other things, content that is hateful, threatening, or obscene is not allowed, nor is content that attacks an individual or group. Continued misuse of Facebook’s features could result in your account being disabled.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can contact us at warning@facebook.com from your login email address.

The Facebook Team

These actions have resulted in a number of guest features on radio talk shows as well as newspaper interviews and articles all over the country, as well as another deletion. Facebook deleted her again on May 13th after telling the Toronto Star it had been an accident! All this press has a lot of people talking about Kate Hansen’s work. Some people are discussing art censorship while others are discussing breastfeeding. More specifically they’re discussing breastfeeding in public.

Kate Hansen: Artist - Gallery Shot

Kate’s feels that “the treatment of my breastfeeding subject matter by facebook is indicative of the very high expectations that society holds for mothers. Mothers are expected to breastfeed, every health organization tells us it’s the best choice, yet images of women breastfeeding are treated with hostility and distain. Women are treated badly when breastfeeding in public. The result is an impossible ideal of motherhood that no mother could possibly meet.”

This got me thinking. She’s right about the impossible ideal of motherhood that no mother could possibly meet. It’s almost right up there with trying to meet the ideals of the Virgin Mother herself, which she admits that in the birth stories, she wanted to draw some parallels between our own ideals of what a mother should be, and the cultural ideal of motherhood, symbolized by the Virgin Mary. She wanted “simultaneously to honour motherhood, in all the glory of its imperfection,” and this to me, brings the whole story, her beautiful idealistic artwork, and Facebook’s ridiculous obscenity policies, full circle.

Except Facebook doesn’t even want us mothers to be like The Virgin. Unless we’re wearing sexy garters and have lots of cleavage coming out of a lacy bra. C’mon Facebook! I mean seriously!!!

Images courtesy of Kate Hansen. Information based on artist’s statement and personal communication.

For more information and to see some more wonderful art, please see the Kate Hansen Art website.

Related posts:

1. Hey Facebook! Change Your Policies! Breastfeeding is Not Obscene!
2. How To Prevent Your Child From Growing Up Too Fast
3. Why Women Post Their Breastfeeding Photos

I know a lot of places that are uncomfortable with women nursing, but don’t you think your own church should be one of the ones that aren’t?

When I was pregnant I knew I wanted to try with all my might to breastfeed my baby. I didn’t get the support with my first two and in a matter of a few weeks I stopped. My son was preemie so I pumped for a few months and that was it. Already I was worried about how I was going to feed my new baby daughter in public.

I talked with my former Pastor’s wife (they transferred to another church) after my baby was born. She said that she could nurse in the nursery and such. Ok, I thought that wouldn’t be a problem. I avoided church and any other outing since I was still worried. I finally got the guts to go to church. While listening to the sermon I saw that my baby was getting hungry she started to whine a bit. I grabbed my cover and took her to the nursery. I knocked on the door. One of the workers opened it and said “there will be no feedings in the nursery now since it will disturb the other kids. You need to feed her in the bathroom. We put a chair in there for you.” I was still on the emotional side after having her and I could feel my cheeks get hot and my eyes tear up. I took her to the bathroom and yes, there was a chair but it was one of those metal ones! In the nursery they had the rocking chair! I don’t understand why I can’t just feed her in church, I mean I do wear a cover. For awhile I wore a cover even in the bathroom. It is real hot in there so I stopped not too long ago.

I feel like I have a disease sometimes. I get looks when some ladies go in there and some ladies that used to talk to me all the time won’t even make eye contact or say hi. When my Pastor left the Pastor that was supposed to be ours was delayed so we had another one come in for a few weeks. His wife was also pregnant and passionate about breastfeeding. During service one day she went to the bathroom and saw me there. She asked why I was in there. I told her and she was not happy! She said that is just silly to have me in a stinky bathroom feeding my new baby! She is now gone to their church and yes, I’m still in there.  There have been 2 other ladies that said they will try to get me into the nursery, but nothing has ever come of it. There are 5 more babies under 1  but they are formula fed and they are in the nursery so they get to eat in there. I don’t put my baby in the nursery so I have to feed her in the bathroom when she needs to eat.

A few weeks ago someone opened the door. You really couldn’t tell I was feeding at all. A lady asked and I said “yup, she is eating” and another lady almost screamed (scared me!) and said “hurry shut the door!!!!” LOL. I said “it’s ok,” and she said, “no, there are men sitting out there. They can see her!!!” I then said, “you can’t even see anything!” I looked in the mirror and really, you couldn’t, since I was wearing my jacket, my shirt was lifted, and she was eating. My jacket was zipped up to the point where her head was.

There have been so many times when I go in to feed her and someone just went to the bathroom and it stinks! I think poor baby! I wouldn’t want to eat smelling this!

Someone suggested I go to another church. There is no way I will. I was saved there so I’ll stay…I really can’t do the church hopping thing since nobody will ever find the perfect church.

Do you have any advice for Glenda? Alternatively, can anyone explain to me how churches operate around this kind of thing? Who’s in charge of these kinds of rules? The Pastor/Reverend/Minister/Priest/Rabbi/etc? The congregation? Shouldn’t it be the mother?

No related posts.

However.

What I was dumbfounded by was the warning that preceded the post. In red upper case letters it reads: WARNING: THERE ARE BREASTFEEDING PICTURES IN THE FOLLOWING POST.

Is that really necessary?

I’m not judging her decision to include a warning. I’m sure she has her reasons. Perhaps her readers are the conservative types who think breastfeeding photos are distasteful or offensive. Perhaps her readers are the type who appreciate a warning like that so they can choose to read the post later when their children or husband are out of the room. While I don’t agree with that style of thinking, I can understand a person wanting to respect another person’s wishes. I’m pretty sure most of my readers don’t require a warning when I choose to post breastfeeding photos. This is a breastfeeding blog after all. But should non-breastfeeding blogs include warnings? Should we be catering to the sensitivities to our unknown readers?

I’m a people-pleaser. I like it when people like me, and I like to do things and say things that make people feel good. Instead of being black or white, I’m most comfortable in the areas that are shaded grey. It isn’t that I don’t have strong opinions on things. I do. But I prefer to be inclusive rather than ostracize. That’s genuinely who I am. So when I saw the warning, immediately after wondering “Is that really necessary!?” I thought “How sweet of her to consider her readers.” And then I thought, “Does thinking this make me a traitor to the breastfeeding cause?”

Here’s what I think. People need to see breastfeeding pictures. People need to see breastfeeding period. The more you breastfeed, the longer you breastfeed, and the more publicly you breastfeed the better. Let’s normalize it, destigmatize it, celebrate it, learn more about it, educate others about it and do it.

But do I want to grab the next pregnant mom I see and shove my breastfeeding dogma down her throat? No. (Well, to be honest, I’ve thought about it, but since I’m a people-pleaser and since some might consider that a bit rude and not be pleased, the answer is no.) Would I chastise anyone for formula feeding, stopping early or supplementing? No. I might write about the benefits of not doing those things, but anyone who doesn’t want to read about that can choose to click off my screen and go read about chasing rainbows with sextuplets instead. I won’t be offended. I won’t even know.

Anyhow. I’m not going to start inserting warnings on my breastfeeding photos. I’m not going to start wearing a nursing cover when my three year old wants to nurse and there are other people around either. I’m also not going to ask people in the room with me if it’s okay with them first. If I feel uncomfortable in certain company I will leave the room to respect their sensitivities and protect myself and my daughter from unwanted comments. But I will not hang a sign around my neck asking for people’s approval to breastfeed. I don’t think you should either.

But what do you think of someone else doing it? Is it a thoughtful thing to do? Is it unnecessary? Is it harmful to the breastfeeding cause? I’d really love to hear your thoughts.

Oh, and those two giveaways? You can win a Bravado Bliss Nursing Bra and/or My Baby Experts™ Simply Breastfeeding DVD and Breast Pumps and Briefcases CD. Contests close Wednesday April 21st.

Related posts:

1. Links To Some Great Breastfeeding Posts
2. My Top 10 Most Commented On Posts of 2009

First. Breastfeed. Even if you think you won’t like it, even if you think you won’t be able to do it. Try it. Even if it’s only for three days. Your colostrum is the most important gift, other than life, and other than love, that you could ever give your child. So give it. Because you have it. And for whatever it is worth, I believe that you can do it.

Second. Find a friend. Find someone who will support you when things go wrong. Who will love you no matter what a crappy day you had or how many times you yelled. Who will help you remember your core self when you really need reminding. La Leche League meetings are a wonderful place to meet other breastfeeding moms in your community. It is also a free life line to breastfeeding success. If you don’t like it, that’s okay. Just find someone to lean on. It’s important.

Third. Consider child-led weaning. Be open to the possibility of breastfeeding long term. You can’t know in the beginning how long you will nurse because you will never understand the value of breastfeeding past x months or years until you get there. Be open to continuing. Know that even working moms have made it work. You can too.

Last. Be an advocate for other breastfeeding moms. Smile at them. Support one another. Pass on breastfeeding wisdom you have gained. Breastfeed in public. Help make breastfeeding the normal, natural practice of feeding and comforting a child that it is by helping to make it visible.

Breastfeeding moms unite!

This post is for Mabel’s Labels BlogHer ’10 contest.

Related posts:

1. Poll Results: Moms Who Don’t Cover Do Breastfeed Longer
2. Not So Astonishing to Want to Breastfeed Octuplets
3. Self-Attachment: Smart Babies Want to Breastfeed