Breastfeeding Moms Unite » Pregnancy & Birth

Wordless Wednesday: Our Pregnant, Birthing, and Breastfeeding Dolls

Melodie — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 03:09:58 +0000

Birthing.

Placenta still attached.

Breastfeeding.

I bought these dolls to commemorate the breastfeeding relationship between me and each of my girls. I hope they will have them for a lifetime and hand them down to their daughters.

To learn more: Mamamor

An Emotional Day

Melodie — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 06:01:01 +0000

Today was an emotional one for me. It’s partly due to the fact that I am PMS-ing, but a number of today’s events have had me on the edge of tears all day.

The day began with new dance classes for the girls. My youngest ran into her classroom without so much as a glance back. I loved watching her unabashed enthusiasm and confidence. “That’s my girl,” I thought, so proud and so happy that she was happy. Plus, she and all the other 3 and 4 year olds were damn adorable. My oldest’s reaction was nothing short of confusing. She handled it when I left with only minimal protest and was all smiles when it was over. Then 10 minutes later her face suddenly fell and she told me that she’d changed her mind and didn’t like it and didn’t want to come back. Déja vû all over again.

Nevermind though. We were headed to the Vancouver Island Baby Fair to see Bobs and Lolo! When they came out on stage, lo and behold, my oldest, the reluctant dancer, was the first one up dancing. “Who is that girl?” I thought to myself, so proud and happy that she was happy. And really, I haven’t seen her that confident and happy in a long time. In fact, I was close to tears for the entire concert just watching her. Confused, proud, and in love with my children. And after it was over she didn’t tell me she’d changed her mind and didn’t like it. Bobs and Lolo gave her a high five and she was walking on cloud nine.

Then if I wasn’t already choked up enough recalling the lyrics of “Little Seed” (that only a PMSing woman or pregnant mom would cry about), I found the vendor I most wanted to see. Adriana of Mamamor who handcrafts birthing and breastfeeding dolls. These dolls can be pregnant, give birth, and breastfeed their babies. Attached to each baby is an umbilical cord and placenta. They are amazing. I really wanted to get one of these for my girls to share as a memento of our years of breastfeeding together. I wanted it to be a weaning gift for my youngest (for when she actually weans – who know when that will be). I wanted it to be an heirloom. But they couldn’t agree on which doll they wanted, and so after much thought, I decided to get them their own. After all, my breastfeeding relationship with each daughter has been separate (minus the 5 months of tandem nursing) and unique in its own right. And now they will have something that maybe they can pass down to their daughters. Making the decision to get each their own, thinking about my breastfeeding relationship with each of them and looking to the future when it will be over for good totally gave me a big lump in my throat. And no, I didn’t get one for free or even at a discount to say this. I bought two of her dolls with my own money. And for an item like this I don’t think I would have it any other way. The fact that each daughter connected with and chose her own doll, and that I and no one else bought them, was actually really important to me.

credit: Mamamor Facebook page (Adriana with her dolls at the Vancouver Island Baby Fair)

Because I love this woman’s work I wanted to pass on to you her info. Her Facebook Fan page is here. Her Etsy shop is here. Her website full of gorgeous photos is here. Her blog is here. She tells me she is getting busy with Christmas coming up so if you are interested in a doll, you need to get orders in soon. She does pre-made and custom doll orders. Oh yes, and if you’re local, she’ll be at the Vancouver Island Baby Fair tomorrow (September 26th) too.

credit: Mamamor Etsy shop

More on breastfeeding at the Vancouver Island Baby Fair. We ended up being there at my nursling’s witching hour. Instead of a nap in the middle of the afternoon, she nurses. Since we were at the Very Breastfeeding Friendly Baby Fair I thought I would check out the Feeding Area to nurse her. The couches were placed in such a way that all of the mom and baby feeding duos were visible. And guess what? There were at least 12 moms and every single one of them was nursing!!! I was the only one nursing an older child (no surprise there), but there was one other mom, who I noticed chose to sit next to me, who was nursing a toddler. So yay for that! I was so stoked to see such high numbers.

So if that wasn’t enough blubbery fun for one day, after dinner we went to the lantern festival. I haven’t gone to this community event since before my girls were born when I used to live here, so it was pretty special to share it with them. As usual, the display lanterns were fabulous. The community walked on a trail along the ocean in the dark, handmade lanterns illuminating this magical night. At set points were fire dancers, drummers, belly dancers and bag pipes.

And after all that fun today my girls were done. My youngest cried all the way back to the car, through her snack (she was starving), her pajamas, and teeth brushing, until finally finding comfort and relief in her milkies nestled under her bed covers. For the first time in months she fell asleep at my breast. Next to her I lay her new doll with a headband like her mama wears, the baby doll nursing in her mommy doll’s cloth arms.

It’s good to be home.

No related posts.

An Interview With My Sponsor :: Annee Matthew

Melodie — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 23:16:49 +0000

Annee Matthew is a maternity and nursing wear business that offers moms a wide range of clothing options. In their own words:

We create unique clothing designs for moms and moms-to-be. We are not just creating clothes, we are creating styles: Styles that will bring out the femininity and charm of the woman in you.

Style – Our style ranges from casual chic to classy comfort for every mood and move – stylish moms everywhere will love our designs!

Function – Our clothing is not only beautiful, but functional as well! All styles have discreet nursing access and many are dual-function – designed to be worn while pregnant and beyond for nursing! Get clothing that will last you from start to finish from pregnancy through nursing and beyond!

The following interview was conducted with Judy Masucci (yes, the same Judy of Mommy News and Views Blog and A Mother’s Boutique) via email.

When did you start the business Annee Matthew?

The company Annee Matthew was founded in 2001 in Singapore by Annie Neo. I opened the US Operations of Annee Matthew in April of 2008 and expanded it to include both the US and Canada in April of 2009.

What is your best selling item?

The Elena.

We have such a broad range of items, it is difficult to pick one best-seller. All of our dresses are very popular – with the Vanna and Elena being our two best sellers. For tops, the Geisha Wrap is our best selling top with the Melia Top a close 2nd.

The Geisha Wrap.

Which item is your personal favorite?

My personal favorite is one of our new items for Spring 2010. It is called the Banded Tunic and it is a really cute dress! It is flattering on all body styles and has a very unique nursing opening (in the pleats at the center of the dress) that can’t even be seen! It is also very affordable – making it a must have for any new mom’s wardrobe. I personally wear this dress and I’m not nursing anymore.

How do you balance your family life with your work life?

This is definitely the most difficult thing that any working mom has to do – and when you own your own business it is even more challenging because there is always something that needs to be done. I have one son, and he goes to pre-school 3 full days so that I can work. Monday’s and Friday’s are our days together and we usually have play dates or go to the zoo or do some other fun activity. He also spends a lot of time with me in my store/warehouse and is a great help! And he loves to meet my customers.

What inspires you?

My son was my original inspiration for this business. I wanted to help other new moms breastfeed. Even though he is no longer nursing, I am still inspired by him. I want to help other moms have the successful nursing relationship with their children that I was able to enjoy with my son.

Do you have a favorite quote?

A friend of mine posted this on facebook recently – and it is really a great quote: Motherhood: the days are long, but the years are short. I think that is my current favorite quote.

Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has a favorite too!

I really like the fact that Annee Matthew carries breastfeeding swim suits! The Front Twist Tankini lets you decide if you want to be “sexy” or “covered” by letting you choose your style of bikini bottom. And once you’re finished breastfeeding you can keep wearing it!

I love that Annee Matthew maternity and nursing wear isn’t like anything else you can get at the maternity shops and yet it is still affordable and that they have such a large selection. And they have a great deal of positive customer reviews for a large number of the items they sell. So if you want to check an opinion on the item you like then check out this page first.

I’m thrilled to have Annee Matthew as one of my Breastfeeding Moms Unite! sponsors. Please show your love and support by checking out the site. They have lots of summer inventory waiting for you!

Visit Annee Matthew on Facebook and Twitter too!

What To Expect of Your Body After A C-Section

Melodie — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 16:28:23 +0000

I wasn’t expecting to have a cesarean and I wasn’t prepared for how it would affect my body afterwards. I didn’t even read up on cesareans when I was pregnant so when I got one I was not prepared for its effect on my body.

credit: Michelle Gingrich

After you have a cesarean you have a scar. For a few days it isn’t a pretty sight. Staples cover the area where pubic hair used to be. Staples that look like they came out of your husband’s staple gun. Then they pull them out. For awhile you can see where the holes were. Like a zipper tattoo.

The scar does fade over time. After a year it’s just a red line. No longer angry. Then it turns purple. Five and a half years later I can barely find mine at all. But the numbness guides me. The numbness remains.

Three years later. Credit: @devaskyla

After I had time to take in the fact that my abdomen wore staples that looked like a Hannibal Lector mask, I was pretty upset that I wouldn’t be able to wear a cute bikini or pretty panties ever again. But I got over that aspect of my c-section pretty fast. My issues with my cesarean were more than skin deep. As far as my body image went I was a little more concerned with my deflated beach ball tummy and stretch marks.

After you have a cesarean you have pain. You’ve just had major abdominal surgery. This is not something you should take lightly. Because your body doesn’t. Prepare to not be able to do things by yourself that you’ve otherwise always taken for granted. Like getting out of bed, lifting a baby, carrying a basket of laundry, settling into a hot bath. Ask for help. If you need to, get a bell. No, really! Laughter is great medicine. Just don’t laugh too hard because that hurts too!

However, it is important to give your scar time to heal and that is what the first few days and weeks of taking it easy are about. Special “after cesarean” panties like the C-Panty can help support and heal the scar and make you more comfortable and better about your appearance. There are also mesh panties available in hospitals which I loved, even taking some home with me and washing them a few times (they’re disposable) so I could wear them as long as possible.

As far as getting back into shape goes, it is recommended that you consult your health care provider before doing any kind of physical activity. Waiting six to eight weeks is standard. Once you have the go ahead, you should be able to do some light aerobic activity. Jogging, hiking, walking, swimming and cycling are good for losing weight. Simple abdominal exercises like kegels, pelvic tilts and pelvic floor exercises are good ways to re-build some strength in your muscles. If you join a class make sure you tell your instructor that you’ve had a cesarean section. As you feel stronger you will be able to do more and more.

Give yourself time. Everyone’s tummies go back to their previous shape at different rates and some don’t go back to their old shape ever again. This depends on several factors: How many pregnancies you’ve had, genes, your previous level of fitness and your commitment. If you’re like me, and many other moms, you will get to the point that you come to accept, and possibly even (gasp!) enjoy your new body.

Now I wear my faded scar as the badge I earned when I first became a mother.

To read about some of the emotional fall-outs from having a cesarean head over to Breastfeeding Momma’s post, My Firstborn: My C-section.

Did I leave anything out? Was there anything else that happened to your body after your cesarean that you want other moms to know about?

Hey and by the way! Did you know April is Cesarean Awareness Month? See the link for ideas you can do to participate in raising awareness.

This post is a part of the Body Image Carnival being hosted by myself and Maman A Droit. Head over t her blog today to read a series of posts entitled Who Am I? and prepare to be inspired.

Please take a moment to visit my April Sponsors

Nursing Wear & Accessories

Momzelle Nursing Wear

Jewelry for Birth and Breastfeeding

Wild Mother Arts

Organic Clothing and Products for Children

Natural Body Care

Miscellaneous

A Successful HBAC, A Failed Birth Plan.

Melodie — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 04:03:31 +0000

My first birth was an unavoidable emergency cesarean section. For my second birth I was determined to do things my way. This meant a midwives assisted homebirth. This meant spending my labour baking a cake with my oldest daughter. This meant following my birth plan.

My second birth went very well. I had the homebirth I wanted. I made that cake with my daughter. But one thing that didn’t happen was having my midwives follow my birth plan when it came to the pushing stage of my labour.

*Why couldn't I have stayed like this?

I had expressed aloud and in my written birth plan that I wanted to give birth on my hands and knees so I could help catch my own baby. I said that I did not want to lay down to give birth, neither did I want to sit up. I wanted to work with gravity. My midwives told me that the hands and knees position can be a bit tricky as far as then turning around with a slippery baby in my arms and putting the baby skin-to-skin on my chest, but they assured me that they had assisted other women to do this and that they supported my plan.

My labour was an average 8 hour labour without any complications. While I did have some incredibly painful back labour and non-stop, no-rest-between-them contractions that caused me to throw up twice during transition, everything progressed smoothly.

I remember when transition was finally over. A sudden peace washed over me. A calm in the storm. I was 10 cms. They told me I was ready to push. Except I wasn’t. My body wasn’t. I didn’t feel the urge. My midwife decided that this would then be the perfect time to instruct me “how” to push.

“Let’s have some practice sessions,” she told me. “You know, to get things going!”

“Huh?”

I didn’t think I needed any instructions on how to push. I watched her in disbelief as she showed me how to lift my leg, curl into a ball, hold my breath during a contraction and press against my leg while pushing. Like an freaking acrobat.

“I’m not lifting my own leg! I’m not giving birth this way. I want to roll over,” I told them.

I don’t remember much about their response except that they basically said I was in a great semi-sitting position that works well for many women (it even happens to be the preferred birthing position of a friend of mine). They made it obvious that it would be too much trouble for everyone to turn me over. But I didn’t want to push yet! There was still time to get up! Yes, it would have felt awkward but I was counting on these women to follow my plan. But no one helped me up. Too exhausted and surprised by their response, I did what I was told.

*Just before I started pushing

“Trust us,” they said. “It’s easier this way.” So I trusted them. And finally the urge to push arrived and I got the hang of it and it felt great. For the most part I followed my own insticts and pushed when I felt the urge. When I was in the trenches of the pushing stage I pretty much ignored everyone and everything except that instinct to get the baby out. For my first natural birth I only pushed for 20 minutes before my second daughter was born. I felt pretty powerful. I forgot about my failed birth plan and enjoyed my accomplishment. An HBAC. My controversial birth had been successful and I was elated.

Fast forward post-endorphin rush I started to give more thought to what had happened. I hated to complain because having a homebirth after my cesarean was an amazing, self-affirming, and healing experience. But if there had been one thing I would have done differently it would have been insisting on turning over. It would have been making my husband help turn me over if they wouldn’t, or doing it myself. It would have been screwing their pushing instructions tutorial.

Our bodies know how to give birth. Women instinctively know how to push out their babies. I knew that pushing would be an intuitive force and that working with gravity either on all fours, kneeling, or standing would be easiest on my body and reduce the chance of tearing (I had a small tear that needed a couple stitches). I recall a delighful post called Stand and Deliver? There’s No Stopping Her at Stork Stories…Birth and Breastfeeding that tells of a very tall woman (like me) whose doctors couldn’t stop from following her body’s cues, who ended up standing on her hospital bed to birth her baby. I’m envious of that woman. I wish I had fought my way up too.

Later, my midwives told me that my contractions had been powerful enough on their own that I could have given birth without actively pushing. It was at this point I became aware of how paralysed women can successfully give birth. Their bodies just know how!

What kept them from helping me to get upright then? All I can think of is that they thought they were helping to keep me comfortable and that they didn’t want to burden me when I was already so tired and in pain. I assume the reason maternity nurses give bottles to newborns of mothers who want to breastfeed comes from the same kind of place. A kind of ignorant kindness towards the new mom.

I forgive them. I forgive myself. And my homebirth did heal the residual emotional scars of my cesarean. But IF I could have done one thing different it would have been to get out of the position that wasn’t comfortable for me and deliver my baby the way I wanted to.

This post has been submitted to the Healthy Birth Blog carnival at Science and Sensibility on the topic “Avoid giving birth on your back and follow your body’s urges to push.”

*Forgive the blurry pictures. Sadly, all of the photos we took of my homebirth turned out this way.

The Things I Didn’t Expect When I Was Expecting

Melodie — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 01:56:04 +0000

This post is part of the 2010 API Principles of Parenting blog carnival, a series of monthly parenting blog carnivals, hosted by API Speaks. Learn more about attachment parenting by visiting the API website.

When I first got pregnant six years ago, the first thing I wanted to buy was What To Expect When You’re Expecting. It was the only book about pregnancy I’d ever heard of. As far as I was concerned, it was a woman’s pregnancy bible.

And then, about half way through my pregnancy I heard about Dr. Sears’s The Baby Book and everything changed: I entered the world of attachment parenting. Except that I was already there and just never knew my values had a name.

I had always wanted to breastfeed. My mother didn’t breastfeed me and her mother didn’t breastfeed her, so I wasn’t expecting a lot of support in this area, but I knew it was the right thing to do, and I was determined to make it work no matter what. I remember near the end of my pregnancy I realized that I did not actually know how it worked. The midwives laughed and lent me a book that I raced through over the next couple days, trying to memorize the drawings so I could get it just right, but in retrospect I wished I’d just chilled out about it. Babies know instinctively what to do (most of the time) and I had my midwives there to ensure we got off to a good start no matter what my education level was on the subject. Today, I recommend other expecting moms to attend a La Leche League meeting. I started attending meetings when my baby was 3 months old and I remember thinking I should have come months earlier. I learned so much from those meetings.

I had a team of midwives to help me have a home birth. In addition to reading the Dr. Sears book, my midwives suggested other books for me to read. Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth was a favorite and helped me prepare for any challenges I might face during a natural birth. I studied that book as though I was going to be tested on it. Because quite literally, I would be. Pam England’s Birthing From Within also helped me work through any fear I had about the pregnancy and becoming a mother. Through art and journalling I explored and celebrated my feelings about the baby growing inside me. Afterwards, I produced a beautiful pregnancy scrapbook with all my drawings. The midwives also filled in the gaps with other relevant information about my pregnancy and the upcoming birth. I highly recommend midwife-attended births, if only for the fact that you learn so much from them. The only thing I never read up about or talked to anyone about was what happened after the baby was born.

In the end, I ended up having an emergency cesarean. I was crushed. I had refused to read up on them because I was so certain I would get my home birth and I had even gone so far as to not pack a hospital bag. What did I learn from this? The power of positive thinking doesn’t always work! That, and be responsible and research all aspects of birth beforehand because you never know what nature might have in store for you!

Luckily, my daughter latched on within the first hour and other than some minor nipple chapping and tearing, we didn’t have any breastfeeding problems. She went on to breastfeed until the eve of her third birthday.

When we got home from the hospital, I looked at the crib I was certain I would use, and then looked at my baby and thought, “What was I thinking?” I couldn’t bear to be apart from her so we shared my bed every night until she was two. Later, I learned that this instinctive move benefitted our breastfeeding relationship, as well as protected her from SIDS, the very thing nay-sayers were worried about.

I wore my daughter in a ring sling. Later, I discovered the Moby Wrap, which I much preferred for my second daughter. I do wish I had researched other baby carriers though. Today, if I were to have another baby, in addition to the Moby I would purchase a mei-tei and an Ergo.

I was fortunate enough to have a year long maternity leave, and then decide to work from home after that year was up, during which time I spent a lot of time reading up on attachment parenting and happily finding my values reflected within the pages of the many books I read. Dr. Sears’s The Fussy Baby Book was especially a lifesaver for me during my daughter’s first year of challenging and spirited behaviours.

Now that my oldest daughter is five and my other daughter is two, I feel a bit more seasoned as a mother. I read books less and listen to and watch my children more. I spend time with other families who hold similar values and we learn from each other by sharing our stories about what has worked for us and offering each other support. I have learned that attachment parenting is as much about following your instincts and doing what is natural than anything else. Motherhood hasn’t been everything I expected, but by following my instincts and attachment parenting principles, I have gratifyingly faced the challenges.

Which things about motherhood were you not prepared for? Which ones were you prepared for? How did you deal with unexpected challenges?

Do Hormones Really Account for a Mom’s Ability to Breastfeed??

Melodie — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:36:02 +0000

Oblivious to the favourable or non-favourable conditions of my womb.

There are some findings from a new study going around that claims breast milk is not vital for an infant’s optimum health. According to Professor Sven Carlsen, the leader of the Norweigan team of scientists who conducted the study, the conditions of the mother’s womb, specifically the balance of hormones, is a more important variable for a child’s long term health. Women’s androgen levels increase during pregnancy. This is the hormone that dries up a nursing mother’s milk supply. He found that if the level of androgens in the mother’s womb is too high then the flow of nutrients from the placenta to the fetus is negatively affected. These same hormones later affect the mother’s ability to breastfeed, resulting in a misleading assumption that the lack of breastfeeding is what causes any health problems. He takes the stance that whether a mom breastfeeds or bottle feeds is of no significant difference – the damage, if any, has already been done. He argues that breastfed babies are generally healthier because the conditions in their mother’s wombs are more favourable.

Luckily, for us lactivists, his study is being met with plenty of doubt. My take is this: If hormone imbalances are the problem for children whose mothers can’t breastfeed, then this condition could explain the problems of the very few women who cannot actually produce a sufficient milk supply, excluding of course, those who’s supply issues are a product of breast surgery, postpartum hemorrhage, insufficient glandular tissue, prolonged severe engorgement, retained placenta, low thyroid, pituitary problems or other endocrine problems [Source: La Leche League]. But it wouldn’t explain those mothers who persevere through their breastfeeding problems and go on to successfully breastfeed, even though they were told they couldn’t, and who have healthy children.

A small percentage of women truly cannot produce enough milk, but it is only 2 to 5 %. Did the results of this study show that this percentage of mothers could blame the reason for not feeding on high androgen levels? I didn’t see that. Of course more women than that quit breastfeeding before or after 6 weeks, 3 months or 6 months, as was measured. But women stop nursing or don’t nurse for a myriad of reasons unrelated to physical problems – return to work, lack of support, lack of knowledge, cultural reasons – none of which he appears to have measured. And women persevere and nurse even when obstacles are mounted against them. For the women who stopped breastfeeding early, did he take into account any non-endocrine reasons? Like improper latch, nipple pain, or infant lethargy?

This study is one more dangerous piece of research telling moms that formula is just as good as breast milk if you don’t want to or can’t breastfeed. And sure, it is okay if a mom needs to use formula or chooses to use formula, but there are countless other studies out there that express the opposite of Professor Carlsen’s findings, and we need to remember those. One study does not all other studies crush. Formula is not just as good. Some women can eventually produce milk for their babies. High levels of androgen are only one reason a woman may have breastfeeding problems. And the quality of a baby’s overall health is dependant on so many different factors it would be impossible to account for all of them. Perhaps hormone levels really do account for some future health outcomes but I can’t accept (nor should anyone) that this is a blanket reason for all infant health issues. Did the scientists account for environmental contaminants such as air quality? Genetic factors? What about postpartum stress? Maybe the mother’s stress of not being able to breastfeed causes health problems for babies. Infants are known to be highly sensitive to maternal stress. There are too many holes in this study to be taken too seriously or to freak out about. So in my opinion, don’t.